Another MIL vent.. don't call my child sexy!!!

[kris85]

i just need to vent about my MIL.. ah yes, another MIL topic haha

My in laws are currently visiting us and it hasn't even been a week and I want to kill her. She is just so full on and constantly oversteps.. mind you she is a genuinely nice woman who means well but she just doesnt understand how inappropriate and annoying she is.

For example, the other day we were out and she saw a baby in a stroller and just went up and started stroking his head and talking to him.. the parent was so not happy whatsoever, he actually had a go at her (good!)

Whats really really bugging me though is she calls my 23month son old sexy.. she'll say 'oh you're a sexy boy' it makes me soooo uncomfortable want to punch her every time i hear it.. am I overreacting? I dont think its EVER appropriate to call a child sexy.

She is so super sensitive you cant say anything to her as it upsets her and most time someone tries to say something she ends up in tears.. its like bloody walking on egg shells

I know its hormones but she just really gets on my nerves big time. We actually live around the corner from them but at the moment are living away from home temporarily - I honestly dont think I could move back there being a stay at home mum, she wouldn't leave us alone. It would really really strain our relationship and most likely also with OH too. Think we may have to look at moving!

I just don't get why so many of us have issues with our in laws.. What is wrong with these women?!

Ok, I just really needed to get that out (OH gets a bit defensive about his mum sometimes so I can't complain to him too much lol)

 

[Bex84]

I hate people refering to babies and children as sexy. It is not a word that should be accociated with children. I know people who do it and i find it odd. My mil does the thing of going up and touching and talking to toddlers and babies when parents dont like it.

 

[ashleyg]

I think it's a little weird and I wouldn't ever do it but I don't think she means anything by it. Maybe that's just her word for handsome?

 

[Bex84]

I think it's a little weird and I wouldn't ever do it but I don't think she means anything by it. Maybe that's just her word for handsome?

I do agree with that she obviously doesent mean the word for what the actual definition is. I have known several children using word sexy as parents call them it and its part of common language. When i worked at a nursery one child used to go around calling people sexy

 

[kris85]

I totally agree she means nothing by it.. its just a nickname, just rubs me the wrong way, I find it inappropriate to call children that in any circumstance - just sounds so wrong!

But being pregnant has made it get to me soooo much more. bloody hormones! bloody in laws!! haha

 

[ashleyg]

I think it's a little weird and I wouldn't ever do it but I don't think she means anything by it. Maybe that's just her word for handsome?

I do agree with that she obviously doesent mean the word for what the actual definition is. I have known several children using word sexy as parents call them it and its part of common language. When i worked at a nursery one child used to go around calling people sexy

Lol that's so odd. I've personally never heard anyone call their child sexy but to each their own!

I totally agree she means nothing by it.. its just a nickname, just rubs me the wrong way, I find it inappropriate to call children that in any circumstance - just sounds so wrong!

But being pregnant has made it get to me soooo much more. bloody hormones! bloody in laws!! haha

Totally know what you mean about the hormones though haha.

Have you maybe...casually mentioned it to her in some way? Or maybe when you hear her say that to your son, jokingly say "aw, I think handsome fits you much better" and laugh or something lol

 

[Bex84]

I think some people use it as slang. I found it grated before i was pregnant lol. My mil can irritate me so much when pregnant. Alot of stuff i let go over the head when not hormonal as i know she doesent have a filter. When im pregnant i get so annoyed though she would never guess lol

 

[ChristiansMum]

I know how you feel sort of, I have a friend on Facebook and she will put a picture of her son on there and put 'my sexy little man' and it seems really odd. I call DS my handsome big boy and DD my beautiful little girl.

My MIL is nothing like that she doesn't care, she is too wrapped up in her own life but comes out with inappropriate comments. When we told her we was having another baby her response 'well Christmas is going to be even more expensive' well I'm sorry you have a large family (she has 5 kids and this baby will be here 5th grandchild) it's not even like she bothers with birthdays and Christmas anyway it was my neice's birthday nearly 2 weeks ago and still hasn't been to see her or got her a card! But it was my BILs birthday the day after and she took him out and brought him and £80 present. Sorry I seem to have taken over your thread but what I'm trying to say is just be grateful that even though your MIL is annoying my MIL doesn't give a s**t about her older kids or her granchildren x

 

[kris85]

I know how you feel sort of, I have a friend on Facebook and she will put a picture of her son on there and put 'my sexy little man' and it seems really odd. I call DS my handsome big boy and DD my beautiful little girl.

My MIL is nothing like that she doesn't care, she is too wrapped up in her own life but comes out with inappropriate comments. When we told her we was having another baby her response 'well Christmas is going to be even more expensive' well I'm sorry you have a large family (she has 5 kids and this baby will be here 5th grandchild) it's not even like she bothers with birthdays and Christmas anyway it was my neice's birthday nearly 2 weeks ago and still hasn't been to see her or got her a card! But it was my BILs birthday the day after and she took him out and brought him and £80 present. Sorry I seem to have taken over your thread but what I'm trying to say is just be grateful that even though your MIL is annoying my MIL doesn't give a s**t about her older kids or her granchildren x

thats sad It wouldn't be nice to have the grandparents not care about their grandchildren. Seems to always be the 2 extremes!

The grandkids my mil does live near she practically visits daily (she doesnt ask, just always drops by - she used to do it to me too) and knows every detail of their lives, even when they get every individual tooth, I know this because I get constant updates lol. She also gives a LOT of unwanted advice. While its nice she cares so much, shes just too full on and its just too much for me. I'm a very private person who loves being alone (with my son and husband obviously). I dont mind people dropping by unannounced to say hi, but not daily! I'm just so happy I'm not living there right now but dreading going back

She doesnt work and gets bored & seems to always need to be around people where as I'm the opposite! As lovely as she is, we just clash and pregnancy definitely makes it so much worse lol

 

[Jett55]

Wow your mil sounds like mine... she cries over everything & feelings hurt very easily. I had to have my mom tell her that she's not planning my baby shower just because I didn't wanna deal with her. And I have the exact same thing with dh being very defensive & can't talk about her nonsense to him.

 

[kris85]

[/QUOTE]

Totally know what you mean about the hormones though haha.

Have you maybe...casually mentioned it to her in some way? Or maybe when you hear her say that to your son, jokingly say "aw, I think handsome fits you much better" and laugh or something lol[/QUOTE]

thats actually a great idea! might try that one

 

[Belle2528]

I hate when people refer to children as sexy. It knocks me sick!!!! Sexy is not a word that should EVER be used to describe children! Is she saying she finds him sexually attractive? Because that's what it means! I'd have to say something, tears or no tears I just think it's highly inappropriate. I'm getting mad for you!! Hahaha xxx

 

[mrsmummy2]

Ahhh. I can't stand it when people call their children 'sexy'. Definitely an inappropriate term for a child!

 

[modified]

It totally rubs me the wrong way. It's short for "sexually attractive". When Violet comes along, should anyone call her that, they'll be told she's a baby, not a sex object!

My MIL doesn't care about V - she called her a mistake

 

[Mrsturner]

I really dislike people calling children sexy. Although it's meant in a cute way, I think it sexualises children and rubs me up the wrong way.

My MIL is also annoying as hell. I loe her dearly, but she just loves to give "advice" when it's most definitely not appreciated. She always goes on about how she raised her kids but her youngest is 30 - things have moved on slightly!!
The worst thing she did (and I gave her a huge telling off) was only a week into weening my son she tried to give him a sip of her wine!!!! I went ballistic. She said it was just a taste off her finger and I was over reacting. All he'd eaten at that point was baby rice and mashed carrot!

 

[qe76]

I have a MIL and a Step MIL but both are in the UK- I hardly hear from them- I think MIL is upset with me cause I talk to FIL and step MIL- They don't get along at all.. Im guessing though. .. I wish they were closer though. Not a few houses away however lol
These MIL threads made me think however- I'm 38 and have a 19 year old son- I dont see it happening soon but he has been with the same girl for three years and gave her a promise ring recently- but sooner than later I could become a MIL and I wonder if there will ever be a thread like this about me! LOL
I get along great with DS gf but ya never know right?

 

[kimbob89]

Your MIL sounds exactly like mine, constantly oversteps boundaries is annoying and you cant say anything to her cos she thinks shes right and starts to cry - I cant act myself because shes always got an opinion!

Anyway to the original point....my MIL doesnt call him sexy but my mum does! When she says it I always cringe but I know she doesnt mean anything by it, its mainly when he tries new clothes on and says 'dont you look sexy'

 

[RinnaRoo]

Thats one of those words that drive me insane!! I hate it when a child is called that, by any means. I would speak up right away, but only because it bugs me so much. If her feelings get hurt by that, then there is something serioulsly wrong with that lady.

 

[greenpear]

Word "sexy" regarding kids really bugs me too. Other things with your MIL I would chalk up to hormones, but some words just aren't meant to be applied to little children.

...but then I hate bikinis on babies (or any little kids under age 3). It just looks so wrong to me. My LO swims in speacial baby swim shorts and it just grates on me when I see babies under 1 in a bikini. My MIL brought a bikini for when LO was 5 months old. I refused to put it on her.

 

[mara16jade]

Maybe the next time she uses "sexy", stare at her and say, "really? Wow, I thought he was dressed nice. Maybe I should go change his outfit." Maybe then she'll get the point that "sexy" isn't the correct word to use. Ugh.