Antenatal Depression = PND? I'm so worried :-(

[TiggyMoo]

Hi ladies,

Sorry, it's a bit of a miserable post, but here goes.

Been reeeeaaaalllly struggling with this pregnancy. Wasn't 100% sure it was the right time for me, but OH said that we could make it work and that it's never the 'right time' to have a baby.

Anyway - I have made it to 35wks, but am incredibly down, today more than ever as I am moving into my mum's flat because me and OH just don't seem to get on anymore.

I'm so sad

I'm really worried that this is antenatal depression....and am scared things will be worse when baby comes along. I can't deal with OH now, and am dreading the situation when he comes to visit baby.

I'm absolutley devastated that I let my OH convince me that things would be okay, and now I'm left to go it alone 5wks before baby comes. I have M.E and just don't know how I am going to cope.

Scared to talk to GP, midwives have been totally useless all the way through. Is it likely that this will continue into PND? I'm so terrified of baby already....I'm scared I will find it hard to bond.

PLEASE HELP

 

[Kitten596]

Didn't want to read and run

My midwives have been useless too!!! Give your GP a call!

 

[Starmoon]

Don't want to read and run either.

I have suffered a bit with antenatal depression I think, although I am not so bad now, during second tri was probably worst bit. I have suffered depression in the past so am extremely worried about PND.

I don't really have advice for you, just try and keep yourself busy as much as you can. Speak to your GP for advice. Take care.

I love your hair by the way. X

 

[zoella]

Please see your GP hun! Obviously with everything you've got going on you are going to be down. But if you are worrying about bonding with baby and really feeling down, you need some help.

How are you coping with your pregnancy? Are you looking after yourself, eating properly, getting enough rest, getting out of the house, seeing family and friends? I ask because I've just been diagnosed with ante natal depression and I wasn't doing any of these things. If you feel that you are truly depressed, you need to get help. I've ben put on anti depressants and starting counselling next week. I was reluctant to take tablets but have had to accept that I really can't cope without them. My consultant told me that if you have antenatal depression, you have a 50% chance of going on to get postnatal depression.

Please see your gp and be totally honest about how you are feeling, even if you don't want to take medication, then maybe you would benefit from counselling or some kind of talking therapy.

Good luck and sending you big hugs, I definitely know where you are coming from and it's so horrible feeling like this when it should be such a joyous and happy time in your life.

xxx

 

[PeanutBean]

I don't think it's possible to overestimate the effect on pregnancy hormones on mood. I was very depressed throughout my last pregnancy and though less so still quite blue during this one. Last time I kind of lost all my positive emotions, felt like I didn't love DH so much. Normally someone who does a million things at once I'd just sit in silence doing nothing. It was really weird. I had the normal baby blues for the normal three days after the birth. I've been up and down since the birth (two years now) but mostly that can be put down directly to the birth experience I had and work issues since returning to work. I don't know it could be called PND, I've not been diagnosed with it.

My point is that it's normal to feel this way. Some women get depressed, some bloom and glow, others don't really change. I don't think it will necessarily have any reflection on how you'll be post-natally and how well you'll bond with your baby.

All that said, there are avenues of support out there. Right now you can talk to your MW or GP. After the birth the MW's will see you for up to a month before you are discharged and then the health visitors take you both on. It's not just for baby, it's for you too. If you need extra support or just someone to talk to they are there for you. If you need more they can put you in touch with counsellors.

I know that when you feel down it feels like you always will and all the anxieties come tumbling down on top of you at once but try to keep hold of just a little rational voice that will tell you that it's no forever.

 

[Aunty E]

I struggled with depression when I was pregnant with Imogen, not seriously, but enough that I was worried (as my mum had very bad PND with my youngest brother, and was hospitalised on and off for years afterwards). I couldn't motivate myself to do anything, sat at home crying on my own, hated my OH and the rest of the world and was just dragging myself from day to day. I didn't get PND after the birth, in fact I felt a million times better. I suggest you see your GP, midwives tend to be a bit useless at dealing with things that are slightly unusual, but I don't think antenatal depression leads to postnatal depression at all. You don't know how you're going to feel afterwards, and you don't know how your ME will be either - you might have a lovely remission Pregnancy hormones are vile, they make me act like a crazy lady, so please don't think they're any indication of how you'll feel after the baby is born

 

[karmah]

Get yourself some support now! Talk to your doctor ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, pyschologist or a counsellor. Pregnancy is a stressful time, for you body and emotions. If this is a fear for you address it now before it gets worse. There is nothing wrong with admiting you need extra help. A baby is a life changing event, a blessing and the hardest thing you may ever do! It will be an even bigger challenge if you are flying solo.

I ditched my zero OH since he was causing way more stress than actually helping me out. I got depressed prior to Christmas and not being happy about the baby was a major red flag. I got into see a shrink and have a counsellor lined up for post-partum. I was also fortunate enough to find a psychiatrist that specializes with pre/post natal depression and women. It is better to be prepared as best as you can. Good luck with everything and I hope everything turns around for you.

 

[vitriolic_vix]

Am really sorry I don't know much about PND so can't really help but would really suggest going to speak to your GP and explaining how you feel.

I do however also have M.E and am also worried about the effects of the labour and how I'll cope with the demands of a newborn Have you got any support from anywhere with your ME? Are you seeing a specialist or physio or anything? If you ever need to talk please feel free to PM me

 

[Tanikit]

firstly this stage of pregnancy can be extremely difficult - with both my pregnancies things have been worst between about 32 and 36 weeks (I am still waiting to see where I am in the next few weeks) I suffer from severe depression and yet despite how bad things were last pregnancy at this stage I did NOT suffer from PND and I have spoken to a psychologist already in the last few weeks who says she doubts I will this time even though the depression is worse now than it was last pregnancy.

This is no guarantee as many women do differ, but I wanted you to know it can work out ok even though the last few weeks of pregnancy are tough. I am sticking it out with no meds for the next few weeks and will then see how things go after the baby is born - if I need something then then I will take it.

Someone on here gave me good advice yesterday: They said: Do what you need to to cope now. If that means stopping work, visiting people, not cleaning, focusing only on the baby even not visiting your OH if necessary - then put yourself and your baby first. For me it meant to focus only on me and stop having any expectations of anyone else - I know I can look after myself, butI am not able to look after the rest of my family - so I come first, then my DD and only if there is space for someone else and I feel ok will I help them and if they do not do what I want or need then that is ok too cause I can look after me - for some reason this has helped. Do whatever works for you and if you need to then ask for help from a GP or other doctor - everyone struggles in the first few weeks after a baby is born - realise this, but know when it is getting out of hand and get help before it gets too hard.

will be thinking of you.