Anxiety/depression during pregnancy?

[7brebri]

So, as most woman in their third trimester I'm fighting fatigue. But I'm not sure if it could be linked with depression. I feel like every day is an off day. I just want to sleep, partly bc I feel exhausted and my body is always achy but also bc I just kinda dont see the point of getting up, putting on makeup, etc anymore. I don't want to look at myself really and I get irritated by most people around me so it's best if I just lay in bed. I don't think I would have noticed if my hubby didn't ask me if I was depressed the other day. I don't know is all I could say, I feel like I can't describe how I feel exactly but stressed out. I have lost interest in anything for myself, I'm so worried about baby and making sure we have everything and so on. I don't feel like talking to anyone anymore unless it's online even to my hubby.. I sexually don't feel attractive anymore and no longer feel like being intimate, when we are I feel like I'm doing it more for him bc I just don't view me as me anymore. I feel gross. And please tell me if anyone else has had this but I've had overwhelming thoughts and fears for the past month or two about losing loved ones. What I would do, how I would cope if I lost my hubby, or I know it sounds weird but if my puppy were to all of a sudden pass. I know death is inevitable but these thoughts won't leave my mind I almost forgot the worst part of all. Eh, I feel like such a bad mom already... I sleep as much as I can and my hubby pointed out I have only been Eating once a day.. Sometimes two times but most of the time I wake and eat a bowl of cereal, or toast or something similar and go back to sleep and don't feel hungry again. I get cravings of course but I don't usually chase them so to speak since they are rare. Am I normal? Is anyone else going through this? I don't want to tell my dr. Bc it's embarrassing. Sorry for the rant

 

[K4tiemay]

I would definitely speak to your midwife or OB about it, you can get help. It definitely sounds like depression to me and obviously there's the potential that things will get harder after the baby comes along (not trying to scare you).
There is lots of help available, so best to seek it as soon as possible. Please don't be embarrassed, it's their job, it's probably your low mood making you feel that there's something to be embarrassed about.
I know it's hard, but try to get out of the house at least once a day, try to socialise, you'll feel better for it even if it seems a daunting prospect. Try to get some physical exercise, it will help the seratonin to flow.
Good luck, I hope this helps and feel free to message me if you just need a rant or chat xxx

 

[Destiny08]

I'd also speak to your midwife/Dr about it. I was depressed a couple of months back, so I know how you feel - it's really not easy. Its nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about - just gotta think of your little one
good luck xx

 

[7brebri]

I would definitely speak to your midwife or OB about it, you can get help. It definitely sounds like depression to me and obviously there's the potential that things will get harder after the baby comes along (not trying to scare you).
There is lots of help available, so best to seek it as soon as possible. Please don't be embarrassed, it's their job, it's probably your low mood making you feel that there's something to be embarrassed about.
I know it's hard, but try to get out of the house at least once a day, try to socialise, you'll feel better for it even if it seems a daunting prospect. Try to get some physical exercise, it will help the seratonin to flow.
Good luck, I hope this helps and feel free to message me if you just need a rant or chat xxx

Thank you, I'll bring it up at my next apt. I know I should in my heart but finding the right words and bringing myself to believe it matters is an obstacle. I would like to add one more thing that haunts my mind as if I haven't ranted enough, I don't know if this is normal, but I don't really feel connected to her. I would be devistated if something were to happen and I know I'd protect her but I don't talk to my bump like some moms do and I don't feel that connection I've read other women talk about and be so happy about. They seem so excited and anxious. I'm scared, sad and terrified.

 

[GemBaxter]

Please don't wait for your next appointment - call today.

I suffered terribly with antenatal depression during my first pregnancy and I felt totally robbed of the experience. I then went on to have post natal depression (not saying that you will) but because they were aware of my history during the pregnancy I was treated quickly.

The biggest tip I can give is to open the curtains. Nap on the sofa rather than in bed as that will only intensify the depression. Maybe try and get out in the garden for a couple of hours and nap in the shade.

Try and drink lots of water and eat little and often. Maybe foods with a high water content.

Don't be over enthusiastic with filling your days but try and set yourself a target of something to achieve each day. When you have no reason to get up and dressed sometimes it takes having a little goal to get you moving in the morning.

If you need to talk please PM me. I cannot bear the thought of people going through what I went through last time. Pregnancy is hard and each one is so different that it can be overwhelming.

Oh and the most important thing is to keep talking to you husband. He is the biggest part of all this and to fight through depression you need his support and motivation.

I must say what an amazing man to pick up on the depression and comment. Good on him! xxx

 

[7brebri]

Please don't wait for your next appointment - call today.

I suffered terribly with antenatal depression during my first pregnancy and I felt totally robbed of the experience. I then went on to have post natal depression (not saying that you will) but because they were aware of my history during the pregnancy I was treated quickly.

The biggest tip I can give is to open the curtains. Nap on the sofa rather than in bed as that will only intensify the depression. Maybe try and get out in the garden for a couple of hours and nap in the shade.

Try and drink lots of water and eat little and often. Maybe foods with a high water content.
Don't be over enthusiastic with filling your days but try and set yourself a target of something to achieve each day. When you have no reason to get up and dressed sometimes it takes having a little goal to get you moving in the morning.

If you need to talk please PM me. I cannot bear the thought of people going through what I went through last time. Pregnancy is hard and each one is so different that it can be overwhelming.

Oh and the most important thing is to keep talking to you husband. He is the
biggest part of all this and to fight through depression you need his support and motivation.

I must say what an amazing man to pick up on the depression and comment. Good on him! xxx

Thank u very much, you are too kind. What is antenatal depression? Is that what's it's called if you have depression during pregnancy? I'm glad to hear you were treated and got help, I will try to sleep on the coach and do something everyday. Like I said before I feel a part of me saying talk about it but I'm torn bc I don't want my dr. Or husband making a big deal and worrying about me if that makes sence. And im scared of how they will treat it. I don't want my dr to get medicine crazy either

 

[7brebri]

And your right, he is an amazing and caring man that pays attention, I'm so grateful for him, if he didn't care I dont think I would sometimes. He keeps me going. I feel bad I've distanced myself from him especially but I feel like I can't help it.

 

[Vanilla_girl]

I suffered from depression thru this whole pregnancy. About two weeks ago I finally had a talk with both my midwife and my husband about it and their support helped so much. I actually havn't cried in two weeeks! I was so scared to bring it up!

It's normal and they can start you on depression meds if you want so that you feel better. Just talking made me feel better, but I am keeping a close eye on it since I fear it will come back after I deliver.

 

[raeraefish]

I had both pre and post natal depression with my DS and I hate to admit it but it's creeping up in this one and has been for some time but I just don't want to admit it to myself, but reading this I guess I've had to.
Getting help is the best course of action, it might not mean medication but if it does it's safe, I had to take meds with my last pregnancy so it's nothing to be ashamed of. It can easily effect everyone x

 

[Gemmalou81]

Hi just wanted to say your not alone I too have been going through the same, I find it hard to do anything, I hate being around people, I don't feel sexual, I feel like I'm a terrible mother already by crying everyday and upsetting my lo. I feel guilt all the time. I spoke to doc about this an they offered counceling but I don't believe in it and then they offered me anti depressants which can do damage to baby. This made me even more depressed. Iv had a few melt downs now and am now not tLking to my mum. My relationship with dh is up and down but I know that it's me causing it.

I'm going to see how things are once baby comes as I def need anti depressants . I hope things get better for you, I completely can relate to how ur feeling xxxx

 

[GemBaxter]

Antenatal depression is depression during pregnancy. It is also called pre natal though I think in the USA.

They may not be happy to put you on meds during the preg especially at this late stage of the game but talking helps and it will also mean you can get help straight after delivery.

 

[7brebri]

It really does help reading these. Thank you all for the support and sharing

 

[GemBaxter]

Its a massive life change having a baby so it is completely normal to change in yourself.

Take each day at a time.

How are you feeling today?

xxx

 

[7brebri]

Its a massive life change having a baby so it is completely normal to change in yourself.

Take each day at a time.

How are you feeling today?

xxx

It's suddenly hitting me how close she is. I think it's bc I feel like I've lost ME. and that while I love her and I'm sure I'll be happier than I thought I'm just realizing it's more than I thought. Today I am stronger. I'm learning to crochet and I started a baby beanie today. I felt better and I got outa bed for a while.

 

[GemBaxter]

Thats really good!

Definitely try and do something every day for yourself. Even once the baby is here. I started to find things hard when the baby arrived because in the first few weeks you get nothing back. When they start to smile, each day gets easier and now my LO talks and we can have proper little chats its even more relaxed.

Hoping for a good day today xxx

 

[7brebri]

Thank u so much for this support. It's comforting since you've been here before. Has this pregnancy been easier on you?

 

[GemBaxter]

Yes it has in some respects. The hardest bit is my son really because I have such a weak bond with him due to the PND. Everything I do with him feels very false and I am sure people notice it when we are out and about so I tend to just stay in.

Depression wise though I came off my meds when I fell pregnant again and I have been much better. I can feel the depression creeping back a little but I know mine always "flares up" when I have bad sleep and at the moment that is the case. My son refuses to stay in bed and is all out of routine so there are more contributing factors.

I am very resentful of my poor relationship with my son so this time I have worked hard to deal with the depression sooner than let it affect things and after feeling "robbed" of a pregnancy with my son I feel I have had the fulfilling pregnancy I wanted.

xxx

 

[7brebri]

Good for you! That has to be hard but I envy your strength to push forward. As for feeling the fake feeling I understand as that's how I feel w my l.o. I talk to her and say sweet things but most of it just doesn't feel right. Almost like she isn't mine. I hope that goes away for both of us. And as for the meds were you able to breastfeed.

I'm glad this pregnancy is easier for you, hopefully you will become a stronger family when you can kick the depression completely, you sound like such a strong woman.

Im bi-polar and stopped my meds wheni got pregnant. They were still trieng to find a medicine that worked (no luck) but maybe after I have her things will work out.

 

[7brebri]

Oh and I get grumpier w/out sleep 2, which sucks for the both of us bc we all know getting to sleep and staying asleep is almost impossible haha

 

[GemBaxter]

They ended up putting me on sleeping tablets at my lowest point to help me settle and then once I got myself into a good routine I stopped them.

I didn't breastfeed. I didn't have a good body image. But also after a lot of discussion my husband and I agreed that:

- if we bottle fed he could help from day one and if I was having a bad day he could just take the baby. He alternated night feeds with me every night from day 1.
- because it would be harder on my body and more tiring he felt it could possibly make the depression harder to deal with.
- medication wise we had no idea whether there was anything I could take whilst feeding that would be safe for the baby.
- I could have set myself up to fail. My husband was so scared that if I couldn't do it, that I would sink lower into a hole.
- NIP was something I would struggle with because of the body image thing so I knew I would struggle leaving the house.

I completely admire women who breastfeed though but felt we had to make an informed and sensible decision taking into account both my mental health and Ben's best interests.

I don't know if you can take meds and breastfeed. They put me on meds at my 6 weeks check up post delivery. I know when I fell pregnant this time they were keen to get me off the meds so long as the balance between safety for me and baby was maintained. I was on a fairly safe tablet for the baby too but I think it is more the withdrawal the baby has after delivery that they wanted to avoid.

Your midwife/doctor should be able to confirm about the meds and breastfeeding though. Have they put any other things in place seeing as you have bi-polar?

Also I don't know how useful this will be or if it is a British thing - have a look into WRAP training. It is a wellness recovery action plan and designed to help you work through everything. I am going to write one shortly before baby comes. I will pin it on the fridge and then I can be prepared if I dip post delivery again.

xxx