Any advice from Mums with 2+ LOs (esp SAHMs)

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by KermitO, Dec 19, 2009.

  1. KermitO

    KermitO Well-Known Member

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    Please can I ask some advice from those who have more than one, especially those who are SAHMs.

    My DS has been poorly this week and as usual I have been up all night as my OH has to go to work. Last night my OH wasn't drinking (for a change!) but when DS was up he just carried on snoring, didn't even wake up.

    I finally got DS to sleep next to me in spare room but I find it hard to get comfy, cause of bump, so I just rested rather than slept (as I had for the last 3 nights.) I can't blame DS, he's had a really high temp and chill, poor might :cry:. So this morning I was exhausted and OH didn't even ask how the night went. He didn't get up til 9.30, knew I was in the spare room but just didn't even care that I am practically dead on my feet. His only comment was that he was glad he got a good night sleep as he was tired!!! :growlmad: At this I went shopping, snow or no snow...

    So if I can't ask for help during the week and he ignores anything at weekends, how am I going to cope? DS sleeps really well usually, 12 hours at night and 2 hours in the afternoon (sickening I know but it took me ALOT of effort to do) so when he is up I know it is because he isn't well. All I could think last night was what if new baby needed to feed now? I couldn't ignore poorly DS, he just wanted to cuddle but there was no way I could have fed too.

    Any advice from 2+ moms as to how I could get OH to help? I know that by chosing to be a SAHM, I should take on the majority of the work but how do you cope with 2 (or more)? OH is really bad at night and it takes him ages to wake up, he claims to never hear the monitor, but it seems more of an excuse to me. IMO there are times when I am going to need him to help, work or no work, how did you find it?

    Thanks,
    Love Kx
     
  2. 3 girlies

    3 girlies Well-Known Member

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    my hubby is usually pretty good at night but he never used to be. He would just lay there until i got up coz he knew i wouldnt ignore them crying. In the end i moaned at him & now he gets up all the time if they are poorly or need a drink etc. Maybe talk to him & let him know how tired you are. I am a SAHM too but you cant do it all by yourself 24 hours a day, they have a break when they finish work so its only fair that we should get a break too.
     
  3. MUMOF5

    MUMOF5 Now a mum of 6!

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    My DH used to be pretty useless, but he's got a lot better, especially over the last year sine Evie's been around. You just have to tell him straight hun, if you are busy tending to the baby then he will have to get his arse out of bed and give you a hand. My DH works all week too, and through the week we both have to get up early, but at weekends we take it in turns to have a lay in (well until about 8am anyway, thats a lay in for me these days :wacko:). xx
     
  4. becky77

    becky77 mum & 3rd tri

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    My dh is pretty good tbh i have had my 5yr old boys poorly this last few days and if they come in with us he just gets up and goes in there beds so i can look after them and still get some sleep in relative comfort . I am a sahm but your dh needs to remember they are still his children . Try and explain to him that although you appreciate he works and you stay at home you still need his help sometimes as you cant do 2 things at once , perhaps suggest that when baby arrives if ds is poorly can he see to him so you can feed baby or the other way round , as you say ds normally sleeps it wont be too often so he cant really mind . I also find telling them how wonderful they are and how much you appreciate it helps as i find they love having there ego stroked . Good luck chick and i hope your ds is better soon x
     
  5. KermitO

    KermitO Well-Known Member

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    Thanks - I can't even bare to look at him this morning so massaging his ego is out of the question for the time being but will remember to when I get some more sleep :sleep:

    DS was better last night and only up once but then kept waking coughing and moaning but then falling asleep. Just enough to wake his ma who then took ages to get back to sleep! He was then also up at 6am which was a bit of a killer but think he was starving as hes not been eating well so couldn't blame him.

    OH stayed in bed til 10am, letting his wife, who's had little sleep for 5 nights, and poorly DS to do normal morning stuff and take the dog out in the snow! He then went to defrost the car and came in saying that the drivers side wiper was all in bits. I said "it was fine yesterday so it must have got iced to the windscreen in the night" he stomped out saying "well I didn't break the f-ing thing, you must have done it." I didn't say it was his fault, but obviously while up in the night I rushed outside, pulled the wiper apart so I could blame him this morning! :growlmad: ARGH

    Still managed to ice a cake for the toddler group party tomorrow morning so feeling pleased with myself! Would up load picture but not feeling up to figuring it out yet :dohh:

    Love
    Kx
     
  6. becky77

    becky77 mum & 3rd tri

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    Oh hunny i know how you feel my twins had swine flu recently one one week the other the next so i was like a zombie , but at least dh was great when poss . I think your doing a great job i would have let the cake go to hell ;). They say pregnant women are hormonal but i think men can be bloody worse sometimes . sending hugs xx
     
  7. Tasha

    Tasha 4kids+2angels+16mc
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    Oh hun :hugs: you must be exhausted. I would sit and have a chat with him. Also maybe suggest one lie in for each of you at the weekend? You do learn to juggle though. Oh and if all else fails lay in bed and kick or poke him til he wakes and helps :haha:
     

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