Any ladies NOT having a baby shower?

[Palestrina]

It sounds like even if you did receive a shower from your family that it wouldn't be a happy occasion after all. I don't see why your sisters' friends would be invited, they don't have anything to do with it. And there's no reason to feel indebted to someone just because they threw you a party with all their friends anyway. I think you may be better off without a party after all. I don't mean that to sound harsh but it seems like you might be unhappy even if your sister did throw you a party.

But that's not what's important here. How dare your family not talk to you since you announced your pregnancy? Not being supportive of a pregnant woman seems cruel and unatural for anyone to do, much less the family that is supposed to love you. You simply must have words with them!

 

[Palestrina]

On a side note, I have goten quite a lot of criticism from friends and family over seas about "americans" and their politics, traditions, social behaviors, culture, etc. All the criticism seems to stem from what these people see portrayed in movies. Honestly, do you want your country to be judged from the movies your country makes? It seems a bit silly and prejudiced with no real grounding in reality. Who cares if you don't understand WHY people have baby showers?

 

[Starry Night]

Every thread about showers attracts "they're rude" or "I buy my own stuff" comments. We get it. People in the UK don't do showers. Sorry it bugs you so much that North Americans do them and kind of expect them (if everyone else has had one, you kind of expect one too...it only makes sense). You can't say you're not bashing the tradition when you outright say it seems rude to have one. Here it would seem strange if a person demanded one or planned one for themselves but a woman would be justified in feeling hurt if no one planned one for her--particularly for a first baby. I would have a "what am I, chopped liver?" feeling as every other girl gets one or more.

Even if a shower is about the gifts (it is, to be honest) people here WANT to buy the gifts and spoil the baby. Baby stuff is expensive and it's a way to help new parents out. Lots of new parents are still just starting out in life and aren't as established financially as older couples. I mean, this is changing as people are often waiting to have kids but I think this is ultimately where the tradition comes from. And the couple receiving the gifts attends other people's showers and gives them gifts. It all evens out in the end so ultimately it's about showing love and support to the parents and the baby. The games and delicious food and good company make it a party!

Usually it's family members who buy the bigger items but those aren't expected. I already had to scold my mother for going over-the-top but she loves it so all I can do is graciously accept. Usual gifts are little outfits, soothers, bibs and tiny, little toys, etc. People ignore the registry all the time and a mother has to be OK with that. And etiquette demands you love everything given you (oh how cute, ANOTHER Winnie the Pooh outfit/toy/whatever). And Thank You cards are a must!

 

[xsarahbellax]

Who cares if you don't understand WHY people have baby showers?

If we don't understand WHY something is done, then we make assumptions, which, as this thread has proved, can be wrong. Surely it's better to have an educated opinion based on facts rather than, as you say hear-say "with no real grounding in reality"?

If you don't think it's important that people understand the meaning behind baby showers, why did you explain the history of the tradition in a previous post on page 3?

 

[moomin_troll]

well you seem to care or you wouldnt be getting so worked u about something that itsnt that serious. just because youve had bad comments from ur friends and family doesnt mean u can come on here and bitch about our aparent lack of understanding.

and every other country makes fun of people from the uk, its on the simpsons when ever it can be about us having bad teeth talking like idiots and drinking tea!
i dont drink tea, i have nice teeth and i dont love the queen or have a posh accent but im not bitching about it because its not important.

 

[SerenityNow]

In addition to answering the question "Any ladies NOT having a baby shower?" this thread also answers the question "Is there anything hormonal pregnant women won't argue with each other about?"

I think that people who read the OP and not just the title of the thread, can see that she isn't feeling sad that people aren't giving her lots of presents, she feels sad that her family isn't supportive of her pregnancy and that she doesn't have many friends to support her either. That's something that anyone would be sad about!

In the US baby showers are extremely common, so when you are pregnant you see stuff about showers all the time. If you have a difficult relationship with your family and don't have a lot of social support otherwise, all the stuff we see in stores and commercials and in our e-mail, etc. that references baby showers is a painful reminder of that. Sort of how people who don't have family or a good relationship with their family have a hard time during the Christmas season, or how single people often feel worse about it at Valentine's day.

I'm a little wistful about it this time around because we suffered several losses between having our youngest child and being pregnant with this baby. Our families have reacted to my pregnancy with more caution than excitement. When I see cultural references to showers I think "Awwww, I want that." and I don't mean presents, I mean I want there to be excitement and enthusiasm for my pregnancy.

 

[Palestrina]

Who cares if you don't understand WHY people have baby showers?

If we don't understand WHY something is done, then we make assumptions, which, as this thread has proved, can be wrong. Surely it's better to have an educated opinion based on facts rather than, as you say hear-say "with no real grounding in reality"?

If you don't think it's important that people understand the meaning behind baby showers, why did you explain the history of the tradition in a previous post on page 3?

I was trying to be informative. If the OP is feeling sad about nobody caring enough to throw a baby shower in her honor, why come along and call her rude for wanting one in the first place? Especially if you have no real understanding of the tradition beyond what you see in movies. It's not my policy to kick people when they're down.

Again, I believe everyone has the right to an opinion, but there's a time and a place for that discussion and if you want to ridicule the idea of showers then this isn't the right thread for it considering the OP was looking for support with an entirely more important issue than asking for gifts.