Any ladies starting first IUI in January?? Buddies Please..TTC 13 cycles

[jennymae222]

Oh I also forgot to mention that not even 2 minutes after my negative test revealed itself I got a text from my brother in-law with an ultrasound of their twins attached. I lost it and I am still trying to recover from that whammy! I am sorry I am so bitter and I hate what ttc has done/is doing to my mental state. I am such a grouch these days it seems. Pity party over I promise!

No need to apologize here. Ive been pretty bitter as well. I cant hardly even look at a baby anymore these days :/ Right there with ya girl. Just gotta keep holding onto hope

 

[jennymae222]

Oh I also forgot to mention that not even 2 minutes after my negative test revealed itself I got a text from my brother in-law with an ultrasound of their twins attached. I lost it and I am still trying to recover from that whammy! I am sorry I am so bitter and I hate what ttc has done/is doing to my mental state. I am such a grouch these days it seems. Pity party over I promise!

No need to apologize here. Ive been pretty bitter as well. I cant hardly even look at a baby anymore these days :/ Right there with ya girl. Just gotta keep holding onto hope

 

[ange0011]

I'm sorry you ladies are feeling down. It really is so, so hard. I remember when my first IUI did not work, I cried for days and could not stand to hear about other people's babies or pregnancies. I felt so guilty for feeling that way, but I had to learn that it was OK and totally normal. Hope you are feeling better today!

 

[kscar]

Thanks Jenny and Ange. I wish I were better at looking at the bright side of things. I am trying to become more positive, but sometimes it is hard to get your hopes up. I don't think there really is a good approach to ttc. There is a really good chance of this working out after 3 IUIs. I have 2 more to go and I am not out because af hasn't shown. I took another test today and it was a bfn (13dpiui), but I wasn't as bummed out today. I think I am ready to tackle the next cycle at this point, but who knows, maybe I will be one of those ladies that gets a late bfp?

 

[ClaireCath]

Hugs ladies. It really is so mentally draining I imagine. I'm not there yet. Won't do IUI until March cycle but I know I will probably feel the same way in the 2WW. UGH. Krista, does your BIL and Sis know you guys are doing the IUI? I guess they don't mean to cause you any bad feelings by sending ultrasound pics, but I would feel it's a bit insensitive of him if they do know....At any rate, hang in there girls! Thinking of you all.

 

[kscar]

Hugs ladies. It really is so mentally draining I imagine. I'm not there yet. Won't do IUI until March cycle but I know I will probably feel the same way in the 2WW. UGH. Krista, does your BIL and Sis know you guys are doing the IUI? I guess they don't mean to cause you any bad feelings by sending ultrasound pics, but I would feel it's a bit insensitive of him if they do know....At any rate, hang in there girls! Thinking of you all.

They know, but I think they feel that it is ok since they had to do IVF. They probably think they are giving me hope maybe. They never had to do IUIs though. They were fast tracked to IVF for their first child and again for the set of twins. I feel bad that I feel upset by them sharing good news, because I really am happy for them, but my jealousy gets the best of me sometimes.

14dpiui and another bfn. Log onto Facebook and the first image I see is of an old high school friend posting a pregnant selfie. Oh boy! I am unfollowing people on Facebook left and right haha! I then get an email from a client to take photos of their growing family. This will be their 6th child! What is the deal body? Why is my body such and underachiever haha! Why does it have to be so hard for some?

I promise I will be in a better mood in about a week! Oh the ups and downs of ttc!

 

[jennymae222]

It really is rough
Today I had a friends baby shower where multiple women brought their babies and had to ask me if I had any and when I plan on having them! AS IF I HAVEN'T BEEN TRYING FOR 3 YEARS!!!! Boy its been a bad day, then when I turn to one of my friends for support and to vent about it she blows up on me and says im being ridiculous and that I need to quit whining because I "act like I'm 40 and cant have kids" !! Well I may not be 40 but it still hurts! I feel like now I cant even share my feelings with friends now for fear of being scrutinized. Thank god for this forum and you ladies. I log in daily to get my much needed doeses of support. Thank you all for your words of encouragement and kindness!

 

[kscar]

It really is rough
Today I had a friends baby shower where multiple women brought their babies and had to ask me if I had any and when I plan on having them! AS IF I HAVEN'T BEEN TRYING FOR 3 YEARS!!!! Boy its been a bad day, then when I turn to one of my friends for support and to vent about it she blows up on me and says im being ridiculous and that I need to quit whining because I "act like I'm 40 and cant have kids" !! Well I may not be 40 but it still hurts! I feel like now I cant even share my feelings with friends now for fear of being scrutinized. Thank god for this forum and you ladies. I log in daily to get my much needed doeses of support. Thank you all for your words of encouragement and kindness!

I am so sorry your friend snapped at you like that and also that you had a difficult day. That seems very insensitive and it does suck that you feel like you can't really share your experience with your friend without being scrutenized. I really hate the "when are you having kids questions." I will never ever ask anybody those types of questions after what we have gone through.

I definitely use this site for support, because my friends just don't understand.

You should be getting close to testing right? When do you test again? I know you have probably said it a million times haha, but I am really bad at keeping track of all the lovely ladies on this thread.

Hope things start looking up for you this weekend and wishing you get the much deserved bfp this month

 

[kscar]

So after today's little disappointment, things did start to get better. Dh is so sweet and decided to take me to a movie and some Indian food. Sometimes a little distraction is enough to break the low moments. I am feeling a little better at this point and af still hasn't showed. Trying to stay as positive as possible.

Wishing everybody lots of luck wherever you are in your journeys for that bfp!

 

[jennymae222]

Thank you
And I go in Monday for the blood test. Im determined not to do a home test this weekend lol its going to be more accurate with the blood levels so im holding out.
Things did get better tonight. I got to spend time with a friend I haven't talked to in awhile (who is also 7 months pregnant haha) but I had a good time. She talked me up and it was a nice release of stress. Those moments are definitely needed
I'm glad DH got you out and about as well. What movie did you guys see?

 

[kscar]

Thank you
And I go in Monday for the blood test. Im determined not to do a home test this weekend lol its going to be more accurate with the blood levels so im holding out.
Things did get better tonight. I got to spend time with a friend I haven't talked to in awhile (who is also 7 months pregnant haha) but I had a good time. She talked me up and it was a nice release of stress. Those moments are definitely needed
I'm glad DH got you out and about as well. What movie did you guys see?

I wish I could go in for a blood test. I am supposed to do home pregnancy tests firsts and then a blood if I get a positive. If af shows I just schedule my day 3 ultrasound.

Glad you had a better evening. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you! Monday isn't that far away.

We went to see Inside Llewyn Davis. It was pretty good, but I probably could have waited to see it at home.

 

[ange0011]

Jenny- I am sorry that your friend made you feel so badly. You should be able to be as open as you want with them. I'm glad you had a great time with your other friend! I have no idea how you have been so patient during the tww. I really hope tomorrow brings you good news

kscar- When I was going through my first three rounds of IUI, I had a good friend who was going through it at the same time. When I ended up pregnant and she didn't, I was so careful to not talk too much about it or to show her any photos of ultrasounds. I even told her that she did not have to come to the baby shower, that I would completely understand. So, I get that you need people to be more sensitive right now, and that even though you are happy for them and they may think they are giving you hope, seeing ultrasounds is not what you need when you are in the thick of the treatments.

Come to think of it, I did not realize that I am the only person here who has a baby and is going through secondary infertility. I hope that it was OK that I was posting here!

 

[Lazydaisys]

My iui hasn't worked. Going to have a month off and try again. Xx

 

[kscar]

Ange, thank you and you are definitely welcome here! I would want support when we start for our second in the future.

Sorry Lazydaisys. Mine didn't work either. Af showed this morning.

 

[ClaireCath]

Sorry girls for the coming and the insensitive friends...It's hard not to be sensitive on this ride. Jenny, glad you had a good time with your very pregnant friend. Some days are better than others right!!? And Ange, yes for sure you are welcome! Hey! Actually...I have not started IUI yet, maybe I should be elsewhere too! ;-) Hope not because I do like this one. Krista. LOL @ unfollowing ppl on FB. I have one friend who just had a baby and every morning i am bombarded with pics of him. I told DH, hey when we get knocked up pls don't let me post every waking moment of my pregnancy and Baby pics all day every day. lol I definitely will be more sensitive to it.
We have to remember that everyone if facing their own battle, we just don't know about it! I'm not used to underachieving either, don't like failing at anything I do. That's a normal feeling i think...anyway.....
Onward and upward!
Acupuncture next for me...balance the Qi (chee) and increase blood. Human pin cushion act .lol No Pics to follow. have a good day friends!

 

[ange0011]

Thanks ladies

Sorry to hear about AF showing laisydaisys and kscar. Even when you are expecting it, it still feels awful when it happens. Are you both taking a month off or just going straight into another round?

Jenny--any news??????

I had my first ultrasound since starting injections this morning and I was not happy with the technician. I have only had very positive experiences at this clinic, so I wasn't expecting this! She recognized me from 2 years ago and she was asking a few questions about what happened since she saw me. I told her the IUI worked and we are hoping it will again. Her face totally dropped and she told me that "everyone should have it so easy" and that I should not get my hopes up that it will work again and to be prepared to do IVF. It was just so weird, because she asked me why I had been away for so long. I am not one to say much when I am getting an internal ultrasound...it's a little awkward lol. Anyway, on a positive note, I have three developing follicles. Trying to be positive about that!

 

[beaglemom]

Thanks ladies

Sorry to hear about AF showing laisydaisys and kscar. Even when you are expecting it, it still feels awful when it happens. Are you both taking a month off or just going straight into another round?

Jenny--any news??????

I had my first ultrasound since starting injections this morning and I was not happy with the technician. I have only had very positive experiences at this clinic, so I wasn't expecting this! She recognized me from 2 years ago and she was asking a few questions about what happened since she saw me. I told her the IUI worked and we are hoping it will again. Her face totally dropped and she told me that "everyone should have it so easy" and that I should not get my hopes up that it will work again and to be prepared to do IVF. It was just so weird, because she asked me why I had been away for so long. I am not one to say much when I am getting an internal ultrasound...it's a little awkward lol. Anyway, on a positive note, I have three developing follicles. Trying to be positive about that!

Well I think that is just rude...especially coming from an ultrasound tech. She wasn't an actual doctor, right? I have not done the IUI yet, but from my doctor & even the urologist who saw my husband, they have only been 100% positive. Even after seeing low results on his SA. I think until there is reason otherwise, positivity is always a great practice. And if there is news like you should prepare yourself for IUI to fail & go to IVF, it should come from your doctor.

Sorry if anything I say sounds rude, but I just hate when someone has to squash someone else's positive state of mind for no reason.

Congrats on the follies & I hope you have excellent results from this cycle!

 

[ange0011]

beaglemom- thank you so much for your reply. Nothing you said was rude at all. In fact, I really needed to hear it. After I left the office this morning, I was wondering if I was just being too sensitive, but I was pretty upset. My doctor has been great. She was not overly positive about IUI working for us this time, but she definitely had much more tact when she told me to try it, but to keep IVF in the back of mind as an option down the road.

I think it threw me because I have had ultrasounds with this woman quite a few times, and she has always been very pleasant and kind. My husband said she must have been having a bad day (she was late this morning- very bad weather here), but that I should speak up next time because you she should take out her problems on anyone at work.

Thanks again

 

[beaglemom]

beaglemom- thank you so much for your reply. Nothing you said was rude at all. In fact, I really needed to hear it. After I left the office this morning, I was wondering if I was just being too sensitive, but I was pretty upset. My doctor has been great. She was not overly positive about IUI working for us this time, but she definitely had much more tact when she told me to try it, but to keep IVF in the back of mind as an option down the road.

I think it threw me because I have had ultrasounds with this woman quite a few times, and she has always been very pleasant and kind. My husband said she must have been having a bad day (she was late this morning- very bad weather here), but that I should speak up next time because you she should take out her problems on anyone at work.

Thanks again

No problem. A positive attitude never hurt anyone. I don't know her personal fertility situation, but people especially in her position should understand how devastating it is for us to be told we need drugs, then told we need IUI, then being told IVF, then god forbid being told nothing will work. Maybe in the grand scheme it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is a real blow to us individually. I almost cried when I took my first clomid pill. But now I am way more positive thanks to my husband, my doctor, & this group. So if you ever need another dose of pick me up, just let me know!

Oh, & I think it is one of the most annoying things when people unload their frustrations at work. We all have our own crap. No one lives in a fairy land of rainbows & unicorns. So if we can keep our stuff together, so can everyone else.

 

[ange0011]

Your two posts have literally changed my mood this afternoon! Just what I needed As I was reading, I was picturing me going to work and taking out my frustrations on the students...I don't think it would go over too well....