Any other Mums out there with high needs babies?

[BUGaBOO]

Sorry this might be long - I've a lot to get off my chest!

My daughter Isla is 11 weeks old. The end of my pregnancy was very stressful (involved in laws coming up from interstate to be there for the birth which I didn't want) , my actual labour was very traumatic and the opposite of everything I wanted and envisioned (52 hours long, failed induction, 5 botched attempts at epidural, back to back baby, EMCS) I had a long, painful recovery from my c-section & my scar got infected plus I had latch issues from the beginning which resulted in my nipples becoming very sore and cracked making BF a nightmare.

Isla has been fussy and unhappy from the beginning, over time, it has progressively gotten worse and worse and here I am writing this post.

Isla will -

-refuse to be anywhere but in our arms. We have a bouncer, swing, cradle etc but she will not be put down in anything without screaming to be picked back up. She especially hates being flat on her back.
-doesn't just cry like a normal baby but has an incessant bloodcurdling scream that sends shivers up your spine and fills you with horror as you watch her turn purple and forget to breathe
-Hates the car capsule and will scream the minute she is put in it and continues to scream while you're driving which is extremely distressing, especially as i'm a new/nervous driver
-cries & fusses in the pram
-can't go to sleep without a serious amount of help. Only when she is swaddled tightly, put on your shoulder and paced up and down with her head bobbing while you pat her bum rapidly will she possibly fall asleep (and only if she is very very tired) the rest of the time she screams and protests. We've tried everything - setting her down in a dimly lit room, sitting with our hands on her, lying with her, rocking her etc. She is just a terrible sleeper and even after hours of trying to get her to sleep, she will wake up again in 10/15 mins and the whole cycle repeats. Finally, by the time we just about get her down, it's time to feed again

I've had several BF issues from the beginning including cracked and bleeding nipples and reoccuring thrush (we both have it right now)
The pain got so bad that I had to exclusively pump round the clock which just about broke me - honestly, I seriously thought I was heading for the loony bin! We've seen the lactation consultant several times and don't seem to get anywhere.
So after feeding her several bottles of expressed breast milk, she developed a preference for the bottle and when I try and put her back on the breast, she only opens her mouth a tiny bit and sucks on the (already damaged) nipple which is extremely painful, not to mention she won't be getting enough milk.

Despite my best efforts with constantly pumping, I had to go and buy a tub of formula because each time I pumped the scabs and cracks on my nipples would bleed and it became intolerable. So at the moment I am combi feeding which I feel so guilty for as I was determined to exclusively BF till she weaned herself.

I have no other friends with children and the majority of my family are back in Scotland. Only my Mum and her younger sister who has 3 young girls of her own live nearby and at the moment they are back in the UK for my Grandads funeral who just passed 2 days ago from lung cancer.

We just moved into our own rental after living with Mum for 8 months and my husband is working 2 jobs which means I'm home alone with Isla all day long and I'm just feeling very lonely and overwhelmed.
She is just so demanding and I struggle to do basic things like eat, shower and keep on top of the housework.
I do have a baby carrier that I can pop her in sometimes but it does restrict me in what I can do as I still wear her on the front and not the back, so I can't really cook or shower etc. I still need to walk up and down frantically till she dozes off as she will just fuss and cry in it if I'm trying to just get on with normal things.

I've read Dr Sears 'The Fussy Baby Book' and she ticks all the boxes for a high needs baby. Sometimes, I feel a bit hopeless about the future. Is she going to be a nightmare of a toddler? Are people going to say 'See! We told you that you held her too much - she how she is now?'
I'm so very attentive to her and just don't get much in return except an unhappy, whingy baby.
It's affecting my marriage too as the last thing on my mind is sex and I am constantly irritable and negative. I feel like all l do is complain but I don't know how else to cope

Does anyone else have experience with a high needs baby?
Edit - she also has silent reflux and is on medication for that

 

[Katiekola]

Just wanted to send hugs, sounds like you having a really hard time and hope you can get some advice on here. My friend at the baby club i go to had a LO who would simply howl if she was anywhere but her Mothers arms,,,in the end she sought help and was advised to put her on a routine which involved CC as neither mum or baby were getting any sleep. Her baby is five months now and completely different, can be held by others and seems content. I don't know what to say really hope things get easier for you

 

[rory83coyotes]

Until you added the part where she was on reflux meds she sounded exactly like my oldest. Are you sure that the meds are working and you don't need to add another or up the dose of the one that you have? On the off chance do you think that she has a milk allergy. Mine did and had all of those same symptoms. No sleep, reflux, screaming if put down. Hugs momma. Take a deep breath. I know that you wanted to EBF but you also have to stay sane. If she gets half and half it will be ok. I couldn't tell but are you waking her up to feed? Because I would not. I know they say to feed every so often but if she just got to sleep you would have much better luck after she gets some sleep.

For a bit about the eating for you. Can you get some meal replacement shakes since you are having such a hard time fitting it all in. You would at least get some nutrition that way.

And as for the nightmare toddler bit. My baby got much easier when the reflux went away. His was caused by a milk allergy is why I asked. it can take a long while for it to go away. You may need to get on the Dr if what you have now isn't working and I don't think that it is.

 

[rory83coyotes]

have you considered adding a probiotic to see if it helps with her stomach?

 

[BUGaBOO]

The meds seemed to work for the first 2 weeks then it was almost like they wore off so I went back to the doctor who said they wouldn't up the dose and that there was nothing they could do and that 'baby's cry - that's what the do'
I insisted on getting a referral to a paed but upon further investigation they will only see you if there is a developmental problem!!

Is it really possible that she could be allergic to my breast milk? How devastating
And where would I get the probiotics to add to her milk? Chemist? I've never seen anything like that before and I'm constantly browsing the baby sections of every store

My husband is away to an all day music festival today - 14 hours and so far it's been a nightmare. She's cried and whinged most of the day. I put her in the sling and bounced/paced up and down for 30 mins till she fell asleep. Every time I stop or try and sit down she wakes up and starts crying, my feet and back are aching so bad, I just want to sit down and have been needing to pee for ages!!
I had to do a poo with her in the carrier earlier because she screamed hysterical every time I tried to put her down!!!! And I couldn't just let her scream for ages because I have a fissure and it takes me so long to do an incredibly painful poo

 

[polaris]

Oh my goodness I feel your pain. It sounds like you are having a tough time of things at the moment without much support. I don't know what to suggest that you are not already doing. Carrying her as much as possible is probably the best thing for now. I really really wouldn't worry about forming "bad habits" or setting up problems for the future. When she's older she won't have the same issues as now - and even if she is a "high needs" toddler it won't be because you held her too much. The one thing I learned about babies from having DS was that whatever you are worrying about now and however bad it is at the time, it doesn't last forever, you will have different worries in a few months time. It doesn't make it any easier though at the time, especially when you have nobody to hand the baby over to for a break. My advice, don't stress about the housework, don't worry about the future, just do whatever works at the moment to get you through. She won't be this difficult forever, honestly.

DS was a bit like this for the first four months of his life, although not to the extent of your little one. I do think that she is likely to get better once the reflux improves. As the PP said, it could possibly be an intolerance too. Also DS is highly sensitive and was very easily over-stimulated, he was very sensitive to being over-tired and it made it an absolute night-mare to try to get him to sleep. Once I got his sleep sorted he really became much easier to manage, but it's a catch-22 because once they get over-tired they can't get to sleep and can't stay asleep. DS is a really lovely toddler by the way, he is very affectionate and, although he is still quite reliant on me, he is generally really well-behaved and a pleasure to be around (as long as he's not over-tired or out of his routine). So having a difficult baby doesn't necessarily mean they will still be difficult as a toddler.

 

[rory83coyotes]

I would ask the pharmacy about the probiotics. You may need to cut the dairy out of your diet and see if it helps. I think its call CMPI and there is a special diet you can follow. Some of the meds are based on weight. What med is your baby on? I use one Rx drug and one over the counter. Axid by prescription and lansoprazole 15mg over the counter mixed with milk or a bite of food. Babies just cry- abousolute crap. Tell him to take her for a bit. Could you go to the Emergency room and see if they would give something?

 

[BUGaBOO]

She is on Losec 5mg - even giving her that each day is traumatic as we have to feed her the dissolved tablet via spoon and she screams and kicks and gargles and spits the liquid everywhere. I went to see the pharmacist about it and asked if she'd be better
on the infant Gaviscon which you can mix in with milk but apparently it's not as good/strong as Losec...

Not sure about going to the emergency room - do you mean the hospital? Not sure what they could do?

People constantly say to me 'enjoy her while she's this size' but they have no idea what a nightmare it is. Everyone round me seems to have such mellow, happy - go - lucky babies
I wish I had the money to enlist a home help, it might keep me same to just even have a nap in the daytime or 1 proper meal. I used to always make sure I ate breakfast, these days I'm lucky if I have a rushed snack at 3pm

 

[Noelle610]

You just told my story - from the traumatic labor to the high needs baby to the exclusive pumping. I had a terrible time when Charlotte was a newborn. Just awful. And like you, everyone kept telling me to enjoy the cuddles. How, exactly, does one enjoy the cuddles with a baby who screams non-stop?!!

High needs babies are hard. It feels really isolating, because when you explain your experience to moms of "normal" babies they just don't get it. I too felt like I was going crazy.

I highly suggest getting out of the house. Even if Isla screams the whole time, it doesn't matter. Other people will be more understanding that you think. Even if it's just for a walk, it will really help your mental health. In addition, grab time to go out without her daily, even if it's just for ten minutes while your husband holds her. I also don't have friends with kids or family nearby to help, so I know that's easier said than done.

In terms of sleep, make sure you get at least a little. My husband and I used to sleep in shifts. He would stay downstairs with the baby from 7pm to 1am (yes, I went to bed that early!) while I slept in the bedroom with earplugs and white noise. Then he would sleep 1am until morning while I slept downstairs with Charlotte. Even if you can do this a few days a week, it should get you some rest If she ever naps, just grab some sleep yourself. Forget about the dishes, the bathroom or the laundry. You're in survival mode now.

If you want to stop pumping, stop. I exclusively pumped for 6 months and looking back, I question whether it was worth it. It really almost made me an insane person. We all know "breast is best", but forumla is fine. In my opinion, a healthy and sane mother is more important than the way a baby is fed. We switched to formula at 6 months and I've never been happier.

Take care of yourself. It's fine to put her in the bouncer, bassinet or swing and let her scream while you take a poo or eat a sandwich for five minutes. Others will disagree with me, but it won't kill her. If you haven't had a high needs baby you have no idea what it's like and aren't in a place to judge. You matter too. You don't exist solely to be a mother.

I would definitely take her back to the pediatrician to rule out any digestive issues. You may need a different medication or different dosage. With reflux medications, they often prescribe the minimum dosage to start with and it does need to be adjusted after a time. If it's really bad, there's no shame in taking her to the ER - we did just that when Charlotte was a newborn. They will take you seriously and get you the help you need. I recommend a children's hospital.

It will get better. I promise you. Charlotte is 9 months today. Somewhere along the line, something changed. We started feeding her on a schedule and she started sitting unaided, so reflux subsided a bit. She started crawling and became much happier. It was like she wanted to move all along. I think a lot of the fussiness she just grew out of. After waking hourly for the first 10 weeks of her life (or just not sleeping at all, literally!), she started sleeping through the night around 7 months. All this, in addition to my getting some help for PND, has me finally enjoying motherhood.

 

[Noelle610]

Oh, and there's another forum member named aliss who had a very high needs baby who is now an amazing toddler. You may want to PM her. She was extremely helpful and supportive to me when I was struggling.

 

[aliss]

Oh, and there's another forum member named aliss who had a very high needs baby who is now an amazing toddler. You may want to PM her. She was extremely helpful and supportive to me when I was struggling.

Aww! I wish you weren't so far away, we'd be great friends!

Yes Bugaboo, my 1st boy was just like your girl. I wanna give you a hug because I know how hard it is, I'm not sure how I survived. But you will survive. This 1st year will be the biggest test of unconditional love EVER in your life, that's for sure. We also ticked off every box in the Fussy Baby book!

I kept him in the sling and walked outside a good 3-5 hours a day (thank goodness for summer). I even used an umbrella to keep from burning and looked ridiculous, but I did what I had to do.

He is now almost 3 and naps 2.5 hours a day and sleeps 12 hours at night in his own bed. It does happen, but quite far down the road. My best advice for now is to survive and encourage sitting/crawling. The sooner they do this, the better they cope with dealing with their 'boredom' (they are frustrated little things) and it helps greatly wiht the reflux.

The first 3 months were by far hell, 4-6 months things slowly improved, 6-12 months tolerable, 12+ months were okay, 18+ months were super easy when everyoen bitched about toddlers being 'harder'

And now I have an 'easy' 2nd baby to compare him too (who is still a crap sleeper by normal standards, I don't mind at all), you are NOT CRAZY!!! They really are a nightmare them high needs!!!

 

[BUGaBOO]

Thanks Noelle, your post really helped me feel better.
Nobody can know how exhausting, stressful and all consuming exclusive pumping is till they've done it themselves for a long time. My life literally revolved around it. I obsessed over how much I was pumping and tried everything to increase my supply. I got mad when Isla would drink 2 bottles instead of 1 and I had no back up. I grudged setting my alarm to get up and pump twice during the night when all I wanted to do was sleep. I was so determined that I would keep pumping when my nipples were bleeding lots from being scraped against the flange walls. Everytime someone said 'why don't you just put her on formula?' it made me more determined to give her breastmilk. I feel like I failed at labour, I wasn't going to fail at feeding my baby what was best for her. I've relaxed a bit since but still not giving up on at least giving her some breast milk.

I took her out in the pram today - it was hard. She fussed and cried the whole time I was trying to put her pram together, get her nappy bag ready, prepare a bottle, get dressed etc. then when I got to the park and sat down, there were ants everywhere that started crawling all over both of us, so I was sitting flicking them off for ages, then she started screaming and I had to keep walking, it was stinking hot and humid so I was sweating and she was really warm too, probably for the last 15 mins of the walk she cried and cried till eventually I had to pick her up and carry her, steering the pram with my left hand. I got in the house, lay her under the ceiling fan and quickly ran in for a 20 second shower cos I was soaking wet with sweat! Not exactly a pleasant experience

The doctor gave me a referral form for a stomach ultrasound to see if there is anything wrong in there. Honestly, my instinct says there is nothing physically wrong, I think she is just a fussy baby. He said they wouldn't up the dosage of the meds as 5mg is enough

Not sure if hubby and I can sleep in shifts as he will be working 2 jobs starting next week. We are already in a lot of debt so there is no option really. I had to give up my job as I couldn't put her in daycare (and we don't want her in daycare this young) because I don't trust she would get the attention she needs and anyway there is no point me working just to pay for the daycare.

I really hope it does get better because so far, my experience of being a mum hasn't been a very pleasant one. It really does feel like I'm trying to survive day to day. I'm not looking forward to the future, just feeling nostalgic about the past.

 

[Noelle610]

Oh, and there's another forum member named aliss who had a very high needs baby who is now an amazing toddler. You may want to PM her. She was extremely helpful and supportive to me when I was struggling.

Aww! I wish you weren't so far away, we'd be great friends!

I always wish the same! I'm still banking on a marriage between Alex and Charlotte and our demon grandchild

 

[BUGaBOO]

Thanks Aliss. Did your first baby put you off having any more? I'm feeling a bit that way atm despite always wanting a big family (I'm an only child) I just can't imagine another baby as well as Isla.

I just hate that people that know me probably think I'm struggling to cope (which I am) and am not a good Mum etc. when they don't know how difficult she is. I know I shouldn't care about what other people think, but I do.
My in laws were up for a fortnight and couldn't believe how difficult she is, they took her overnight to give us a break and were absolutely exhausted, had to take a nap during the day etc.

Did you find yourself becoming depressed? Did you have much help? Was there anything that soothed him? The only thing I can say Isla enjoys is her bath but some nights I'm just too worn down and exhausted to give her one. I feel terrible admitting that!!

 

[aliss]

Thanks Aliss. Did your first baby put you off having any more? I'm feeling a bit that way atm despite always wanting a big family (I'm an only child) I just can't imagine another baby as well as Isla.

I just hate that people that know me probably think I'm struggling to cope (which I am) and am not a good Mum etc. when they don't know how difficult she is. I know I shouldn't care about what other people think, but I do.
My in laws were up for a fortnight and couldn't believe how difficult she is, they took her overnight to give us a break and were absolutely exhausted, had to take a nap during the day etc.

Did you find yourself becoming depressed? Did you have much help? Was there anything that soothed him? The only thing I can say Isla enjoys is her bath but some nights I'm just too worn down and exhausted to give her one. I feel terrible admitting that!!

We almost divorced over it. He wanted more, I was absolutely done (I also did the traumatic birth and exclusive pumping). I agreed to one more but that was it (and it still is! I don't wish to wager another demon and have 2 others to care for). I also considered adoption but my OH refused. I spent the entire pregnancy in FEAR of another high needs baby. I didn't relax until Philippe was born. And when Philippe had a gut rot panic at 3 weeks in the night, I almost had an anxiety attack because I thought he was turning into "one of those"...?

I had terrible postnatal depression for a year. It was because of how hard he was, I know that. I was never depressed before, I was a 911 operator/did mental health volunteering before, been through so many mental health evaluations for my job, and wham! There it was! I didn't even get baby blues on day 3 with my 2nd. Difficult baby is a total risk factor.

A bath? Oh girl, I think we went a week without giving him one out of exhaustion at that age (9and he vomited constantly). It happens. It's nothing to be ashamed of, again, just try to survive every day.

You're right that some people think we "just can't cope". I've heard it said to me on here before (and ALWAYS by people who have no idea what it is actually like, just their theoretical 2 cents). People whose babies dont' cry 8 hours a day, whose babies actually sleep more than 30 minutes in a row, babies who can be put down without screeching until they are red in the face. They are just ignorant fools.

When it's your only child and you don't really know different, then you can constantly question yourself "maybe I really can't cope? maybe this is normal and I just don't get it??" ~ I was very lucky that I was that kind of baby too, so my mom was always available for phone calls. She knew. But once I had the 2nd baby, I realized that it wasn't "just me" ~ in fact, he was even worse than I originally thought!!!!

I put off another child for 2 years and I'm glad I did, maybe just put it out of your mind for now and revisit the issue later. You don't need the added pressure right now!

 

[alaskagrown]

So, you've basically described my daughter Lilly. My daughter rarely smiles, and is seldom happy, and also requires A LOT of holding. The carrier won't cut it - she screams, arches, and is capable of flipping herself out of the Ergo/sling if she wants to because she hates it so much. And I really hate to say this, but in all honesty she was like your daughter at 11 weeks and is just as bad (if not worse) at 9 months. The doctors are even a little taken aback at my daughters behavior and have set us up with an occupational therapist for working on how she processes her surroundings. I'm willing to try anything at this point.

Oh, and I'm exclusively pumping. 8x a day still.

 

[alaskagrown]

Thanks Aliss. Did your first baby put you off having any more? I'm feeling a bit that way atm despite always wanting a big family (I'm an only child) I just can't imagine another baby as well as Isla.

I just hate that people that know me probably think I'm struggling to cope (which I am) and am not a good Mum etc. when they don't know how difficult she is. I know I shouldn't care about what other people think, but I do.
My in laws were up for a fortnight and couldn't believe how difficult she is, they took her overnight to give us a break and were absolutely exhausted, had to take a nap during the day etc.

Did you find yourself becoming depressed? Did you have much help? Was there anything that soothed him? The only thing I can say Isla enjoys is her bath but some nights I'm just too worn down and exhausted to give her one. I feel terrible admitting that!!

We almost divorced over it. He wanted more, I was absolutely done (I also did the traumatic birth and exclusive pumping). I agreed to one more but that was it (and it still is! I don't wish to wager another demon and have 2 others to care for). I also considered adoption but my OH refused. I spent the entire pregnancy in FEAR of another high needs baby. I didn't relax until Philippe was born. And when Philippe had a gut rot panic at 3 weeks in the night, I almost had an anxiety attack because I thought he was turning into "one of those"...?

I had terrible postnatal depression for a year. It was because of how hard he was, I know that. I was never depressed before, I was a 911 operator/did mental health volunteering before, been through so many mental health evaluations for my job, and wham! There it was! I didn't even get baby blues on day 3 with my 2nd. Difficult baby is a total risk factor.

A bath? Oh girl, I think we went a week without giving him one out of exhaustion at that age (9and he vomited constantly). It happens. It's nothing to be ashamed of, again, just try to survive every day.

You're right that some people think we "just can't cope". I've heard it said to me on here before (and ALWAYS by people who have no idea what it is actually like, just their theoretical 2 cents). People whose babies dont' cry 8 hours a day, whose babies actually sleep more than 30 minutes in a row, babies who can be put down without screeching until they are red in the face. They are just ignorant fools.

When it's your only child and you don't really know different, then you can constantly question yourself "maybe I really can't cope? maybe this is normal and I just don't get it??" ~ I was very lucky that I was that kind of baby too, so my mom was always available for phone calls. She knew. But once I had the 2nd baby, I realized that it wasn't "just me" ~ in fact, he was even worse than I originally thought!!!!

I put off another child for 2 years and I'm glad I did, maybe just put it out of your mind for now and revisit the issue later. You don't need the added pressure right now!

THANK YOU. I frequently question if I'm just being a wimp at parenting, but then it hits me. I stood there in complete SHOCK when I saw all the babies in baby group last week...sitting there...smiling. Like seriously, I don't think Lilly ever just sits and smiles. Smiling and content babies totally blow my mind. We got a group picture afterwards. Almost all the babies are giving these big fat grins, and there's Lilly bawling hysterically in the background....yup, the oooooonly one. Typical.

 

[Noelle610]

Thanks Aliss. Did your first baby put you off having any more? I'm feeling a bit that way atm despite always wanting a big family (I'm an only child) I just can't imagine another baby as well as Isla.

I just hate that people that know me probably think I'm struggling to cope (which I am) and am not a good Mum etc. when they don't know how difficult she is. I know I shouldn't care about what other people think, but I do.
My in laws were up for a fortnight and couldn't believe how difficult she is, they took her overnight to give us a break and were absolutely exhausted, had to take a nap during the day etc.

Did you find yourself becoming depressed? Did you have much help? Was there anything that soothed him? The only thing I can say Isla enjoys is her bath but some nights I'm just too worn down and exhausted to give her one. I feel terrible admitting that!!

We almost divorced over it. He wanted more, I was absolutely done (I also did the traumatic birth and exclusive pumping). I agreed to one more but that was it (and it still is! I don't wish to wager another demon and have 2 others to care for). I also considered adoption but my OH refused. I spent the entire pregnancy in FEAR of another high needs baby. I didn't relax until Philippe was born. And when Philippe had a gut rot panic at 3 weeks in the night, I almost had an anxiety attack because I thought he was turning into "one of those"...?

I had terrible postnatal depression for a year. It was because of how hard he was, I know that. I was never depressed before, I was a 911 operator/did mental health volunteering before, been through so many mental health evaluations for my job, and wham! There it was! I didn't even get baby blues on day 3 with my 2nd. Difficult baby is a total risk factor.

A bath? Oh girl, I think we went a week without giving him one out of exhaustion at that age (9and he vomited constantly). It happens. It's nothing to be ashamed of, again, just try to survive every day.

You're right that some people think we "just can't cope". I've heard it said to me on here before (and ALWAYS by people who have no idea what it is actually like, just their theoretical 2 cents). People whose babies dont' cry 8 hours a day, whose babies actually sleep more than 30 minutes in a row, babies who can be put down without screeching until they are red in the face. They are just ignorant fools.

When it's your only child and you don't really know different, then you can constantly question yourself "maybe I really can't cope? maybe this is normal and I just don't get it??" ~ I was very lucky that I was that kind of baby too, so my mom was always available for phone calls. She knew. But once I had the 2nd baby, I realized that it wasn't "just me" ~ in fact, he was even worse than I originally thought!!!!

I put off another child for 2 years and I'm glad I did, maybe just put it out of your mind for now and revisit the issue later. You don't need the added pressure right now!

THANK YOU. I frequently question if I'm just being a wimp at parenting, but then it hits me. I stood there in complete SHOCK when I saw all the babies in baby group last week...sitting there...smiling. Like seriously, I don't think Lilly ever just sits and smiles. Smiling and content babies totally blow my mind. We got a group picture afterwards. Almost all the babies are giving these big fat grins, and there's Lilly bawling hysterically in the background....yup, the oooooonly one. Typical.

I totally get this. I really questioned myself too, wondering if I was just a crappy parent. Going to baby groups made me realize it wasn't me, it was the baby! I love her of course, but still

 

[aliss]

One thing a lot of us moms of high needs babes have found in the toddler years is that there may be something called 'sensory processing disorder'. It's a new concept but you girls might find it an interesting read online.

 

[Samiam03]

My Lo is high needs and has always been this way. The good news is...she is slowly getting better. She is actually taking one consistent 2 hour nap a day now...there was a time she didn't nap at all! And then another times when she needed to be held to nap...such a pain! She still has her fussy moments and she only wants me...she tolerates her dad but only if I am not in the room...if she even hears me she screams for me. I feel so bad leaving her at the church nursery cause she just SCREAMS for the full hour til I come back. Hopefully this ends soon but her seperation anxiety seems to be getting worse. It is so exhausting and I feel like I can't get a date night cause I'm scared to leave her like that.

Baby wearing saved my sanity, btw. I can carry her and still do things. She also hates the stroller...she now will stay in it for 10 minutes without a fuss but there was a time she refused to be in it even a second.