Any1 with family abroad?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by purapura, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. purapura

    purapura Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies, just looking for some support and want to know I am not alon in this situation.

    Our families (ohs and mine) are abroad, so we have no one to help us here. I feel so tired and cannot even go and spend a quite (or not so quite eve with my hubby. Let alone, I feel like I am mummy 24/7! I forgot how to be a "woman"...
    Hubby is working and sometimes has to stay away for few days, and work on weekends... Just so tired and I am missing some help and support...

    How are you dealing with this?
     
  2. xcharx

    xcharx Well-Known Member

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    Aww hun :hugs: have you not got good friends to help? X
     
  3. Ozzieshunni

    Ozzieshunni Guest

    All my family is in California and DH's family is around, but SIL works a lot and BIL is a prat :haha:

    I just deal day to day. I'm lucky that DH works split shifts from home so he helps me out, but some days, like today, I'm on my own pretty much. I try to have my own little flow during the day.

    I don't know if that helps, but I would give the world for my family to be here, especially since my parents are both retired and still young so they would be able to take Alex sometimes.
     
  4. Green Lady

    Green Lady Well-Known Member

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    I know...I've got a big extended family in the US but apart from my Dad none have even met my husband, let alone the baby. :( Unfortunately economics prevent cross-atlantic travel. I keep dreaming of visiting home but it's always next year, next year. And my husband's family all live at a distance as well. I feel sorry for my daughter really, as she isn't going to know family at all at this rate. It stinks but I don't know what to do about it right now.
     
  5. purapura

    purapura Well-Known Member

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    Not that I can trust with LO... They don't have children, and do not show enough sympathy for LO (in my opinion)
     
  6. ahcigar1

    ahcigar1 Happy Mother of 1

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    I know how you feel, all my family is out in Kentucky and even though hubby's parents are here near us I would never trust either of them alone with Leah. So we are all on our own. Do you have any friends that you could trust?
     
  7. numum

    numum Well-Known Member

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    Hey yep all my family are plane journey away it sucks. The only person I'd leave lo with for any length of time is my mum so I've never gone out or even been to the hairdresser since she was born. I reckon i have one friend i could maybe leave her with when shes a bit bigger but not overnight. Sidenote: mil keeps saying oh it'll be great when you stop bf she can stay overnight with us. Over my DEAD BODY!
     
  8. lilyanne

    lilyanne Mom & Pregnant with #2

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    :hugs: I completely empathize. My husband and I are expats in Germany and have no family here. We came to Germany knowing no one. Plus I didn't know any German. Have you tried to find other mommies in your area? Maybe a church has baby group? Is there a baby class you could sign up for (massage, swimming, etc) and meet other moms through there? The reason I ask is that I have found a huge support in having mommy friends in the area. I know I can call on them and they are willing to watch Phoebe if I need it. Don't get me wrong, it is still hard not having the family support. I hear my sister-in-law talk about going out and her kids having sleepovers at Grandma's house. I definitely get jealous!!!!
     
  9. Kiki09

    Kiki09 Mummy to a miracle

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    I am the same, my oh works away 2-4 days a week, we live out in the country and family live 3-4 hours away... All my friends work full time... I am thinking of moving near to family as it is so hard 24/7, especially as my lo is suffering bad with relux despite being on medication...
     
  10. purapura

    purapura Well-Known Member

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    I have found few mummy friends here, and it does help a lot! I just wish I could "dump" him on my mum for few hours to do shopping/hair dresser, or even just to have a lazy afternoon on the coach...
     
  11. Rihannalove

    Rihannalove Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun I can sympathise with you I'm in the same boat as you, we have no one here its just me DH and LO no friends nothing :nope: but its fine I have sisters in germany and holland so can go there once or twice a year :hugs:
     
  12. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    I'm the one who is "abroad" (well, technically not but 5000km and a different language that I don't speak sure counts). It is sooooooooooooo lonely :( I haven't spent time with a friend since we moved 7 months ago :(
     
  13. qpaulina42

    qpaulina42 Well-Known Member

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    same here. family is all over the globe for both OH and I. No relatives nearby, few friends and none that could help out. hopefully it will get better when she is older.
     
  14. purapura

    purapura Well-Known Member

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    I don't speak hubby's family language... It is sooooo hard :(

    I thought there are English speakers in Québec...
     
  15. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    There's a few in the main cities but not where I am :( What's your hubbys' family language?
     
  16. purapura

    purapura Well-Known Member

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    Portuguesse... Mine is Russian/Hebrew... :) baby will be speaking English and Russian(hopefully)
     
  17. lilyanne

    lilyanne Mom & Pregnant with #2

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    haha I feel the same way!
     
  18. Future-Sailor

    Future-Sailor Well-Known Member

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    Mine is Russian/Hebrew as well - are you from Israel?

    I don't have family over here either; my family is in Israel. Hubby is British but his family is so unsupportive and don't offer to help. So we only get a break when my mum comes to visit or we go over there. It's so hard isn't it?! Hubby and I argue so much because of this...I even try to make him move over there but I know that our little girl is safer over here x
     
  19. purapura

    purapura Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I am from Israel, born in Russia. I was thinking many times about going to Israel (where my mum is) for few month/weeks. But I know that hubby will be missing his boy and myself toooo much...
    Where are you based in the UK? (pm me if you want)
     
  20. zucchini

    zucchini Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies I am in the same boat. Have been living 'abroad' (ie, away from Australia) for over ten years now, and rarely see my family unless we all go to Australia ourselves. My mum passed away a few years ago and dad can't travel any more, but my sister has been to visit us here in Philly a couple of times.

    DH's family are in California, but they visit about 4 times a year. Problem is, when they are here they are just awful and I can't deal with them at all (example from last week: Grandmother attempts to cut my daughter's hair with nail scissors, without even informing me let alone asking me first. Of course she totally messed it all up and left it halfway through. Result: I end up having to give her a full-on haircut at 10pm) That said, they do babysit and before the baby arrived they used to look after DD so we could go out for dates while they were here.

    It is really hard - me and DH both work full time, although I have time off right now to spend with the baby. We have a 4 yo DD and newborn and things are very very busy for us every day. As someone else said on here, you just take things day to day and try to be nice to each other (actually, I just had a huge fight with DH and he has taken DD off to the library for the afternoon. So at least I get to check BnB, but not feeling that great about it).

    Luckily we do have some lovely neighbours - DD went for a sleepover at her friend's place up the road when baby was born - and a couple of friends who are supportive. But I do wish that family was close by. Then again, I'm the one who decided to move overseas, so do I really have a right to complain about it? I go back and forth on this.

    Anyway this turned into a long post but much sympathy and hugs to OP and others on this thread. :hugs:
     

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