Anybody else just feel.... weird???

[Lues]

And I don't mean "pregnant weird".

I mean... I guess I do, but not what I THOUGHT would be "pregnant weird".

We had been trying for years, and I'm now 5w3d pregnant. And I'm thrilled. I'm of course also worried, because it's still so early. But that's not the weird thing. I expected that.

I just feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, whatever the heck that is. I don't really have any symptoms, so I don't FEEL pregnant. I feel like nothing changed, but everything changed at the same time. It's a weird combination.

I'm not drinking anymore. That's probably the only real actual change in my life. I feel like there should be more changes than that.

And it's hard for me to be productive with anything else, because it's so constantly on my mind. But at the same time there's really nothing for me to DO. My husband keeps telling me that I am, "you're growing our baby!" he says, which is super crazy sweet. I just smile and nod. But my honest reaction is "But I'm not really DOING anything." I mean it's not like I'm going "Okay, time to work on that brain stem...." lol.

I'm not sure I'm explaining this right, lol. But it's an awkward feeling. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, even though my brain knows I'm not.

It's just a strange feeling. You'd think after three years of wanting something to happen, I wouldn't be so thrown by the fact that it happened.

I think part of it is that I'm so happy to be finally pregnant, but right now being pregnant is more of an adjective and less of a verb. it's not really something I'm doing. It's what I am.

And I know there's nothing wrong with that. It's just.... weird.

Aaargh. I don't know how to --- does anyone else know what I'm talking about????

 

[bamluby]

Hahaha, YES! This post made me smile and laugh so much, because I have had many of the same thoughts!

Sometimes I want to "do" something, so I tell myself that eating and sleeping must be good for baby. That's all I feel like I'm doing at the moment...although I am certainly not complaining!

 

[Lues]

oh thank you so much!! Seriously. Can't tell you how much better that makes me feel!!!

 

[ladyV84]

I know what you mean completely. Just enjoy this majorly special time knowing that ok you are not actually doing anything but your body is. It's growing and providing for that little baby in there! I am 7 weeks now and am EXHaUSTED!! Like above poster said I'm letting my body dictate to me what it needs and it's mainly food & rest, in in bed now and it's not even 8!! Xx

 

[BrittRashel]

The first was especially weird. I guess I thought I would just feel different when I got pregnant. I don't know what exactly I expected to feel like but I just had some imagined feeling stuck in my head so it freaked me out when I didn't feel whatever IT was that I was supposed to feel. I mean, I loved my little bean but it was just different than I had imagined and I think it was because nothing really changed except that I couldn't drink or smoke and I couldn't really lift heavy things and I had to avoid cleaning with bleach. With this one, I was more prepared for that feeling of sameness. Give it a few weeks, you will be doing plenty of work. The whole morning sickness thing is no joke. lol

It's hard before you can actually feel the baby. You don't feel as connected to him or her. Once you start feeling the baby, everything changes.

 

[Lues]

Thanks.

helps to know I'm not the only one who has felt that way.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I felt weird with my first one. I still feel weird now with my fifth. I got into the habit of asking myself before I touch or do anything "is this safe?" Yet it was so hard because I don't FEEL pregnant. I hate the first trimester because baby is too small to connect with and you go through some major changes which usually start between 6-7 weeks. At least having those changes is the only indication that baby is alive and kicking.

 

[VerucaSalty]

I sooooo get it! It's been a while since I've been pregnant, so while it was completely life-changing to find out a couple weeks ago, I'm very much "okay, what now?" about it. Because everything feels the same, except I just get poked and prodded more now, lol.

 

[Lues]

"Okay, now what?"!! Yes. Sort of an uncomfortable limbo. (ummm... is limbo ever comfortable?)

Update on my end: So i JUST realized something HUGE for me personally.

I was sitting here thinking that I'm even looking forward to just the silly blood work that I get on Monday. And I suddenly realized that for months now, in fertility treatment, I've been to that office MANY times EVERY SINGLE week for monitoring and scanning and blood work and ultrasounds. Now I'm actually pregnant and it's been a whole week of nothing!!

And as much as it was annoying, and sometimes very emotionally draining, I didn't mind going. I liked feeling like I was doing something.

I think that's part of it. Sort of a mental shock that I'm actually doing significantly LESS now than I was before.