Anybody else's DHs staying away from home lol?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Lesli45, Jan 26, 2011.

  1. Lesli45

    Lesli45 Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm...I'm not certain if it's my hormones, my lack of "fun-ness" lately or the scare of being a parent but my boyfriend has been spending more time with friends lately for drinks. Just got a call right now that he ran into a friend after work so they went for a couple of drinks :growlmad: As he didn't say anything and I made dinner I am less than impressed. Of course the hormones have fired me up even more and I'm pretty ticked off right now. Is this normal? Is it the scare of having to be responsible soon? Or is my boyfriend just being a primo jerk? Will this get worse? Or am I just being oversensitive with these raging hormones? Argh!!!
     
  2. Dancerforlife

    Dancerforlife Well-Known Member

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    Hey Hun, I had this issue for awhile. I think at first it was scary for him and then he realized once the baby comes he won't get to do things like grab drinks after work on a whim so might as well now. He also told me I was so emotional I was scary :haha: So I of course yelled at him a lot about being there for me no matter how scary I am but eventually (most likely once the hormones calmed down a bit.) I realized I want him to enjoy doing those things now as long as he knows things are changing as I get more and more pregnant!

    Plus it gives me time to do what all I want on my own at home!

    I say have a chat with him and make sure he knows that this is happening no matter what. Maybe he'll open up and tell you a little more what is going on in his head!
     
  3. addie25

    addie25 Guest

    Everyone reacts differently. If it keeps happening talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. My DH has been great up till today. He was excited doing whatever I wanted then we find out I am a carrier for cyctic fibrosis and thats ok as long as he is not a carrier. If he is a carrier out child has 25% chance of getting it so naturally I am scared and want him to get tested ASAP. I have been crying all night about this and he started yelling at me saying I am not reacting correctly that I should not be worried that he is not worried and he's not going for the test tomorrow he will wait till Thursday meaning we wont get results till next week! I am very upset with him as well. Having a baby teaches you things about your partner. I am not happy with what I have learned. You are supposed to work together and he just shut me out and said Im being stupid. Now he is cleaning bc he knows I am upset and thats his way of trying to make up for his being a moron even tho he wont do what I need and come say sorry and talk about this with me so I relax.
     
  4. Lesli45

    Lesli45 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for that. I do want to him to enjoy things before the baby comes since his life will change hugely. I guess I wish he could be a bit more thoughtful though. I am the one that makes dinner all the time and if he's not coming home it would be nice to have a heads up. But I do know that this pregnancy is making me overreact to all sorts of things so perhaps I just need to step back a bit...
     
  5. Lesli45

    Lesli45 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry to hear about the CF carrier news but I bet all will be fine. Even 25%, if it comes to that, are low odds (higher than I'm sure you'd like though). I wish mine would clean when he knows he's being a jerk lol. At least your hubby realized it after though...that's a good thing :) Fact is, even though statistically the odds are in your favour that is stressful news to hear, regardless. You are definitely right, a baby does teach you things about your partner.
     
  6. addie25

    addie25 Guest

    Thanks for the support. Yea I know its nice he cleaned but it would have been nicer if he said he was sorry and spoke about my fears. When he came to bed he started rubbing my back as he always does when he knows he is wrong so why cant he just say he is so we can talk about this. I am trying hard to stay put together. I work with children and do not want my class to see me upset. I know the odds are in our favor so I have to hope it stays that way and my DH is not a carrier as well.
     
  7. Lesli45

    Lesli45 Well-Known Member

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    He reacts that way because he is a man lol. Hearing an "I'm sorry" would be much more rewarding but at least he knows he's in the wrong. Men sure do handle things oddly sometimes. Anyways, try to keep your chin up and remain positive. Even if he was a carrier (which he likely won't be) the stats are still only 25%. Just try to force yourself to believe it will all be ok. That must be challenging being at a job like that and having to force cheerfulness when you're worried. At least it provides distraction and maybe forcing yourself to be happy will take your mind off things. I'll cross my fingers for you that all goes well...
     
  8. addie25

    addie25 Guest

    Thank you. Its hard not to be happy now when I just heard cheers from the next classroom because schools closing early since it is snowing lol. My kids are in technology so I am sure they will be yelling when they come back.

    I will feel better once I know for sure what is going on. If my DH went for blood today I would be more relaxed but he has not and its going to snow hard over night and he will prob not be able to go tomorrow bc of this so I wont know till mid to end of next week at this rate.
     
  9. AngellXeyesO

    AngellXeyesO Well-Known Member

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    He may be putting it off because he is REALLY afraid of the answer, like you are. Men do not always like to show emotions and anything regarding your child's health is certainly emotional. I had a miscarriage my first pregnancy and see a stand off nature this time around from my boyfriend. My friends are supper excited and talking about the future and everything, but we are all the more curious. And its true, think positive. I know its hard, extremely hard, but have faith. I think he will come around!
     
  10. addie25

    addie25 Guest


    You are prob rt. He sent me a text saying he understands this is a scary time but we have no reason to think the worst yet and I need to relax bc its not good for me or the baby. At least he talked about it but I am still mad at his initial reaction. I swear hes not good with medical things. I told my parents if something ever happened to me they had control as well as him if Im in the hospital bc they know how to handle things. I am glad your friends are acting excited I am sure things will work out this pregnancy! Good luck to you! :flower:
     

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