anybody worry about their toddlers development?

[GypsyDancer]

Im feeling pretty shitty right now
My toddler is 2 and nearly 1/2..and i feel like hes going to end up being really behind.
I know hes still young but all i ever hear is how kids his age are talking in perfect sentences and doing puzzles ect..this is not a dig at anyone btw..its just a combination of threads and fb posts.. and those whose los are doing well should feel proud..rightly so..! I dont begrudge anyone for it..
But i feel like im failing him as a parent. Hes a lovely boy. Very caring and always shares his sweets out ect..very cuddly and kissy..but academically..nothing
Im more of an arty person myself so ive tried to teach him to draw his shapes ect and the other day he brought me a drawing hed done of thomas the tank and i was sooo proud of him as hed tried to draw a circle for his face and the body and wheels..and to anyone else it probably looked rubbish but i thought he was so clever..
I tried to go through his numbers with him, alphabet ect and he has no interest..the only numbers he understands are 1 and 2. He knows what 2 means but other than that..nothing..
I try to teach him academic things but hes never interested..
Just wants to play with his toys and draw..
I know its probably my fault as ive always let him do what he wants..
Hes only just started stringing together 4 word sentences..
I know hes picked up alot from his enviroment..he knows how to mix up his medicines and he can swallow 3 tablets whole together with water which i dont know many 2 year olds that do that..but its just the learning ect im worried about..
Can anybody ease my worries..will he catch up?
The most important thing to me is that hes happy and healthy..but i still would like to feel he's intelligent..?


Also, for those who do teach their little ones ..do you have any tips on how i can encourage him to learn..should i make flashcards ect?

 

[xnewxmummyx]

Hi. Isobelle has just turned two and no way can she talk in sentences, point to colours or numbers. She's only just started trying to copy words. I worry a hell of a lot about how much I do/don't do with her, but she's not interested in sitting and 'learning' she just picks things up as she goes, I.e with family (who she only sees 1x a week) me and OH, and playgroups. I just figure there's plenty of time for proper learning at nursery

Xx

 

[GypsyDancer]

Hi. Isobelle has just turned two and no way can she talk in sentences, point to colours or numbers. She's only just started trying to copy words. I worry a hell of a lot about how much I do/don't do with her, but she's not interested in sitting and 'learning' she just picks things up as she goes, I.e with family (who she only sees 1x a week) me and OH, and playgroups. I just figure there's plenty of time for proper learning at nursery

Xx

Thankyou, this is the thing i worry about how much im doing/not doing with him..i feel like i should be sitting down and teaching him things but when i try to he just has no interest whatsoever..he's just started learning his colours but still gets mixed up..he has no idea what numbers look like what..x

 

[xnewxmummyx]

Hi. Isobelle has just turned two and no way can she talk in sentences, point to colours or numbers. She's only just started trying to copy words. I worry a hell of a lot about how much I do/don't do with her, but she's not interested in sitting and 'learning' she just picks things up as she goes, I.e with family (who she only sees 1x a week) me and OH, and playgroups. I just figure there's plenty of time for proper learning at nursery

Xx

Thankyou, this is the thing i worry about how much im doing/not doing with him..i feel like i should be sitting down and teaching him things but when i try to he just has no interest whatsoever..he's just started learning his colours but still gets mixed up..he has no idea what numbers look like what..x

Isobelle is exactly the same love. Try not to worry too much! Although I know I still worry lol. Isobelle has always been 'behind' her peers with crawling, walking, talking etc so I have worried for 2years!

For example today, I had to stay in and do housework ready for visitors tomorrow and I felt so guilty about how much she was left playing alone, but she's fine, she gets so much attention the rest of the week.

X

 

[hayz_baby]

My lo never really wants to learn. You could teach him all day and he rarely shows an interest. He seldom lets you read to him and a he wants to do is play with cars and watch toy story. But he picks up on things he wants to learn. His mind set is very different. Eg. At a very young age whenever a toy went under the sofa me or oh would get it, we would lie down flat and reach to get it like most people do. He picked that up about 5 months ish.he copied it from us. He was also an early mover. I don't worry that he can't talk or that he only understands 1 2 3. Because he understands that when he needs to take his top off he has learned to raise his hands. If he is insisted on holding something he has learned whilst getting a top on he has learned e needs to swap hands. He is clever but in his own way. Think of all the things you lo can do and it might not seem that bad.

 

[Tacey]

I worry a lot about Alice. She's reasonably 'advanced' academically and verbally, but struggles so much socially. Everything scares her, she tells me frequently that she doesn't like people, and boy, does she let everyone know it!

I'm trusting that at three and a half, there's more than enough time for development.

At his age, (actually, I'd argue at any age!) the best thing for his development is lots and lots of play. Save the sitting learning letters etc. for future years, and just enjoy seeing him develop.

And having said that, I'll now try to follow my own advice

 

[hattiehippo]

I agree with Tacey - lots and lots of play and carry on letting him take the lead in letting you show you what he's interested in. And from your description his drawing is pretty good for 2 1/2.

Believe me being early in recognising numbers, letters, counting etc is really no indicator of future academic success. I've taught 5-8 yr olds and often the ones who seem 'behind' at 5 have caught up by 7 or 8 and those who were 'ahead' at 5 have slowed down. And they have years head of them to learn 'academic' things but only a few years to develop their learning skills through playing.

My LO is no way advanced at 3yrs 2months in terms of counting, numbers etc. his language is very good but he's not very interested in numbers etc. He can count to 20, recognise 0,1,3 and 8 and about 15 letters but that's it. But he's amazing at role play, has great social skills and is kind and listens well (most of the time!). But he won't try drawing most the time.

 

[RachA]

Try not to worry. He is only 2 1/2. Some children at that age have started to learn achedemic things but to be honest that doesn't actually mean they are going to be more advanced when they finish primary school.
The best thing-as Tracy said-is for a child to play. Unless your child is actively asking you to teach him/her numbers, letters etc then there is no need to give them any structured learning.
My son started school at 4 and all he could do was count up to 10 and he knew what the letter D looked like and that is it. He's now in year 1 and isn't behind. Ok he's not as advanced as some of the others but that is because they are the children that are 10/11 months older than him. Of the children that have summer month birthdays he's right up there and doing really well.
I don't believe a child should be pushed to learn if they are not wanting it. Let your lo play but do things like counting when you walk up and down stairs.

 

[Natsku]

I agree with the others, don't worry. Just because he's not interested in learning those things right now doesn't mean anything about his intelligence or capabilities, he's just not interested right now. Playing is the most important thing to do, not sitting down to learn things, he doesn't need to learn them yet and like hattiehippo said, they pretty much all even out in primary school. Just keep playing with him and just point out things like shapes, colours etc as you come across them in play.

 

[sapphire1]

I think they all catch up in the end, and have different strengths and weaknesses. Holly does know her alphabet and numbers, but apart from that she says very few words. The only 2 word phrase she says is 'all gone'. She doesn't know enough words to speak in sentences, and she rarely understands what I'm saying to her. She only became interested in letters through her toy laptop and the tv. I never sat down and taught her anything, as I kind of believe that kids should be kids. I do draw letters and stuff for her now, but only because she came to me with that interest, not the other way round. I'm not really concerned about her lack of speech, because I do think they level out when they get to a certain age. If a child doesn't seem interested, I wouldn't want to force them. Learning should be fun

 

[sun]

I agree with the others, don't worry. Just because he's not interested in learning those things right now doesn't mean anything about his intelligence or capabilities, he's just not interested right now. Playing is the most important thing to do, not sitting down to learn things, he doesn't need to learn them yet and like hattiehippo said, they pretty much all even out in primary school. Just keep playing with him and just point out things like shapes, colours etc as you come across them in play.

I agree. Studies have shown that kids that kids that have early formal learning (reading, writing) don't necessarily do better in school later in life. It doesn't predict success. Play is one of the most important things a toddler and preschooler can do - some will be interested in letters and numbers, and some will only want to know about art, music, cars, dinosaurs, flowers, fish, etc

 

[CaptainMummy]

I agree with the above. Paige is 25 months and she struggles to do a 3 piece jigsaw, she cant recognise any letters apart from S&O and she counts to 12 but misses out 5&9. I have never actually taugt her anything. She shows no interest in learning about numbers and letters... She does however speak in sentences, acts 62 rather than 2, she knows all her colours (never taught, just picked up through play) and she really enjoys physical play.

I think, as others have said.. That its definitely not the 'norm' for a 2.5 year old to know the alphabet or recognise all numbers. Theybare all interested in different things, and by the sounds of it your little boy is a budding artist! I would follow his lead and let it continue. Sounds like hes doing perfect!

 

[hellohefalump]

I'm quite a chilled mummy. Mojo just turned three and is only just speaking in four or five word sentences. Yes, he's behind, but he IS getting better, just slowly. He's quite a chilled little boy. He has his sister to communicate for him, so that's made him slow. He didn't walk until he was sixteen months, he can count to five, knows a few colours, but that's it. He LIKES being the baby of the family. He describes himself as 'baby'.

Madeleine was slow too, but it turned out she had glue ear. We've had Mojos hearing tested though and he is fine. No one else (health visitor etc) is worried, so I'm not either, I think he'll come on quicker once he starts at the childminders in April when he gets his funding.

 

[lindseymw]

Jacob was behind in a lot of things at that age. He refused to speak completely. He would only say 'mam' 'dad' & 'eh.' Wasn't interested in learning much either.

Now, at 4, he won't shut up. He has extensive knowledge about a wide range of things. He knows about the world & countries (what they are called, where they are), tectonic plates, volcanoes, earthquakes, the water cycle, gravity, solar system, the list goes on.

Don't worry hun, he will catch up & if he's anything like Joshua it will happen in a short space of time.

 

[Tanikins]

Speach we have but my 1.5 year old still is walking he can and does if he wants, the 2nd you push him he goes back to crawling

What im saying is he made be different to the others but lets face it no one shout about the stuff there kids cant do. So chances are he more forward at other things

 

[chickenlegs]

I don't have a toddler - Billy isnt even a year yet. But I am a teacher, as is my partner and I can safely say that neither of us have any intentions of teaching him anything. The children who end up being the "brighter" kids aren't the ones who are taught early. They are usually the ones who have a lot of life experiences, are talked to, and are played with. I say usually, because sometimes even given lots of attention and experiences, children still struggle. But I am a strong believer in letting kids be kids and have fun as much as possible. Please don't worry. Kids will be what they will be.

 

[BlueHadeda]

I haven't read all the replies. Thought I'd just share about my eldest son. He was advanced in gross and fine motor skills when he was around age 2-3. He could built high towers, hit a ball accurately with his golfclub, etc. But verbally, he was soooooo behind. He couldn't count AT ALL. The first time he could count to 10, was when he was about 4 or 5! He couldn't string 2 words together until around age 3. He could barely speak at age 2! I even had to take him to a speech therapyst at age 14 months and again age 4, because he was so behind. He couldn't build any puzzles. He hated doing them, so we only did the 2-6 pieces until about age 5. He couldn't sing ANY songs. Not even a 1-liner, until age 7. He couldn't read or recognise any letters or words, until he was age 4-5. He couldn't say the alphabet.

From age 4, he started to love maths, and recognised numbers and could do sums. But that was it. So strangely enough, he could subtract 4 from 5, but couldn't count until 20...LOL. The occupational therapyst told me it's because he's severely left brain. She's never seen a child that much left brain. And remembering a rhyme like one, two, three, four, etc. is actually a right brain function, not a mathematical function.

Still, we thought him clever and sweet and wonderful. Because I wasn't on the internet in those days, and didn't know other kids could do all these fancy things early on. He only went to playschool age 4. Before that he stayed home with me, and I didn't teach him anything. We just played.

Today, he's 12, and extremely smart. He excells academically, have no problems in school, and still loves maths. He gets excellent marks for his exams, and is still very, very good with his gross motor development (he has a keen hand-eye coordination). So basically, he's now more in balance. Doing well in school and sports, have wonderful friends, etc. He's just still very shy with the ladies, LOL. Still needs time on that one!

So please, just enjoy your baby, and don't worry about him being behind. The BEST thing you can do for him, is to let him play! You're not a bad mom for letting him do what he wants to. You're a good mom! They need to develop the areas in their brains on their schedule, so they'll choose the activities that suits them best. Just enjoy him and stop worrying about academics just yet.

 

[StranjeGirl]

I worry ALL the time! Had another freak out session today..so I totally know where you were coming from. My LO is only 13.5 months, but I too never try to "teach" her anything. Now all of a sudden I am trying my best to teach her to point and clap because that is what she was supposed to be doing by 1 year old and she is not. It kinda hit me tonight though that maybe she doesn't do these things because I never worked on teaching her. When I read to her (and I have done so since she was 10 weeks as she has always LOVED books) I never read slowly, skipped the words and pointed to things, labeled things in the books etc. I read the book the same way I would read it to a 10 year old. At about 11.5 months dh and I all of a sudden realized that she recognized the name of ALL of her books. I had no idea. So I wonder if some kids are ahead because they are being taught, where our kids are not doing certain things because we are not drilling it into their minds? But in the end they will all end of at the same place. I don't know, it was just a thought I had. I will say though that dh was very very behind in all of his milestones as a baby. He did everything late and would not interact correctly with people. His mom was worried sick, but they didn't do all this early intervention stuff like they do now, so he got no help. Even in kindergarten he was still different and walking into walls. He completely progressed and is an extremely bright, social and motivated individual. He is completely above average intelligence (hope he doesn't read this...don't want it going to his head lol) So many times I read about how kids are behind and they get early intervention and then totally catch up. how many of those kids would have caught up anyway without intervention, like dh did. I know if he was getting help at that time they would have assumed that he progressed so well due to the interventions he had. Anyway, just my thoughts. I bet your LO is absolutely perfect and when he decides he feels like learning something new he will go full force!

 

[Babyface179]

I haven't read all the replies and I am definitely not an expert. I am sure that your LO is probably the same developmentally as most others the same age. I will say though that emotional intelligence counts for so much more in life than academic intelligence. I would much rather my 20 month old would learn to share his sweets than count to 10 or hug a little kid when its crying etc.

 

[GypsyDancer]

Thankyou everyone! Im feeling much better now, i think i was just feeling a little bit sensitive as i just keep seeing all these toddlers doing amazing things and i keep telling myself its because im not helping him to learn or encouraging him in the right ways!
But i feel so much better now after reading all your replies!
I know him being really intelligent isnt the most important thing in the world, as i said the most important thing is that hes happy and healthy, but i still dont want to be the one to be holding him back if i should be doing something differently..
Im not really concerned about any other aspects of his development, i think hes a normal 2 year old, its just purely the counting, and knowing letters and being able to do puzzles ect that i worried about..
I think like you all said i will take his lead, let him play and just be a typical toddler!
x