Anyone considered giving up

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by puppymom32, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. puppymom32

    puppymom32 Mommy to Xavier

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2009
    Messages:
    7,943
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am almost to the point now where I think I might just give up and look into going the adoption route. It seems like everytime I give up and take a break I end up getting pg and having some form of a MC then I try really really hard again and get so depressed that it doesnt work and give up again and the same thing happens again. I am about ready to stop all the drugs and look into adoption at least I know that is a sure thing even if I fork out all the money for IVF (would have to go private) there is no gaurantee it will work for me. I just get so frustrated. Last MC was in April so I have been trying again really really hard. I'm just frustrated and tired of waiting so long to have a baby. Just feel defeated.
    I'm not techincally out yet this month but with two temp dips including today I know it is only a matter of time.
     
  2. reallyready

    reallyready Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2009
    Messages:
    967
    Likes Received:
    0
    I do think about what my end point is with TTC at times as an overall consideration. Am 40 next March. So my timeline is definitely on my mind.
    Keep your chin up. It's so tough, I know. :flower:
     
  3. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

    Joined:
    May 27, 2008
    Messages:
    15,210
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yes, I am nearly there. I have given myself until December, unless I hear news otherwise.
     
  4. puppymom32

    puppymom32 Mommy to Xavier

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2009
    Messages:
    7,943
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sometimes I wonder if that is why I cant have babies because there are so many out there that need a good home and someone to love them. A friend at works mom adopted his sister and 3 months after they got her she was pregnant with him. I would not be upset at all if that were to happen. Big hugs to you all.
     
  5. x_Rainbow_x

    x_Rainbow_x Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    12,041
    Likes Received:
    1
    Yes iv tryed to give up quite a few times but i always get drawn back in again.. its hard and i get many ppl tell me im young and time will be on my side.. but that makes me wanna give up more as time cant help me.
     
  6. BigFoot1980

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Messages:
    817
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think of giving up, but I can't seem to give up.
     
  7. littlehush

    littlehush Guest

    When i had my ectopic back in 2003, i was told after that IVF was my only hope of having a baby. It took us about 2 years to get anywhere with the IVF through the NHS, but in that time we did keep trying, just in the hope that we would have a miracle, but nothing.
    Then our marriage broke down, and no IVF had happend. I met someone else and he knew all my probs, and was very supportive. But to my amazment, i fell pregnant within 3 months of us being together, but i had a MC. In just 2 years we have had 3 more pregnancies, but all ending in MC's. After getting used to not being able to fall pregnant, i have now become obsessed, and somtimes i really hate being this obsessed.
    I have had tests done again and they could see no reason why i couldnt fall pregnant :wacko:
    so now i know i can fall pregnant, now its just a case of why i cant keep hold of them. Im waiting on a date to see a specialist in london, and depending on what happens there im going to try for another year, then maybe look into adoption. I just know that it is going to be super hard giving up, but i think one day you just have to say enough is enough, i always vowed i wouldnt give up, but there is so much more to life, and at the mo im not living it.
    xxx
     
  8. puppymom32

    puppymom32 Mommy to Xavier

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2009
    Messages:
    7,943
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks littlehush so sorry for your losses. I dont wanna give up but I may need to face the realization that it just might never happen. I also think about all this time that I could have already had a baby if I had adopted and given them a good home. Stupid witch got me today I think I may try for a few more months and this start looking into what it takes to adopt. At least then I can obsess over something I will have more control over.
     
  9. CareBear

    CareBear Is considering whats next

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    3,038
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just for information regarding adoption, when you start the process you have to have had a least six months from your last attempts at any treatment and you have to agree to be using contraception, obviously they can't ensure you are but until the adoption is all agreed by the courts you are expected to use contraception and be fully committed to the adoption process. Just thought I'd say for information.
     
  10. puppymom32

    puppymom32 Mommy to Xavier

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2009
    Messages:
    7,943
    Likes Received:
    0
    Carebear,
    I wonder if the rules are different depending on what country you are in because I have several friends that have adopted in the US and they have never mentioned this. Thanks for bringing it up it will be something I will look into.
     
  11. rhiansweet84

    rhiansweet84 Mum to 1,TTC #2 on clomid

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2008
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've just had a HSG on cd 5. I'm now on CD 25 and this is it. I'm not putting myself through torture month afer month anymore. It's putting strain on our relationship and I'm exhausted. Good luck to all of you still hoping for BFP though. xx
     
  12. sma1588

    sma1588 mommy 2 kaydence

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    Messages:
    3,654
    Likes Received:
    0
    omg tracie,
    i know exactly what you mean, im 21 and have adenomyosis so time is deff. not on my side as im thinking of getting a hyst. next year while i sitll have insurance. if i dont get preg. now i dont think i will ever have kids which gets me down everyday. ppl all around me are saying were all too young to have kids and they will laugh at whoever gets prego first but little do they know im trying and expecting to get laughed but its all worth it and they dont understand the situation...... so its ok and dont let anything get you down........ i dont know your situation but if thats what you want then go for it and dont give in
     
  13. CareBear

    CareBear Is considering whats next

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    3,038
    Likes Received:
    0
    Rules are very likely to be different, I'm referring to UK only. Sorry didn't spot you were in the US!
     
  14. Jaxvipe

    Jaxvipe Mom to Avianna

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    1,761
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am adpoted and my mom did not have to agree to use contraceptives while in the adoption process, however, that was like 22 years ago. The only thing now a days that i really don't like about the adoption process is that you have to have an open adoption.. Now thats not saying that they bio parents will have contact, its just stating that they can whenever they want.
     
  15. puppymom32

    puppymom32 Mommy to Xavier

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2009
    Messages:
    7,943
    Likes Received:
    0
    Jax,
    I did some research yesterday and it looks like the US that you can have either kind open or closed it may just be harder to find one if you go the closed route but I would think that would be the better option for us as we already had legal custody of my nieces four year old and after 3 mo she wanted her back. None of the family wanted us to give her back as she would be better off with us. But I knew it was something that she could come back on us later and try and get her and it would hurt much more after that much time than 3 mo. Plus I didnt want my neice to grow up hating me thinking I kept her from her mom. It tore both mine and my husbands heart out to send her back. She is 7 now and doing well.
     
  16. NeyNey

    NeyNey Love My IVF Munchkin

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    8,625
    Likes Received:
    0
    We've thought about what happens if we're not successful with IVF. Do we go with surrogacy, or adoption? I think we want to try everything first. In January our Government is changing the safety net so it will cost a lot more for IVF, we're hoping to get a cycle in first before it happens.

    But we aren't giving up...just yet

    :hugs:
     
  17. puppymom32

    puppymom32 Mommy to Xavier

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2009
    Messages:
    7,943
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ney Ney
    Hope you get in before the increase and it works on the very first try. You deserve a little bundle so much.
     
  18. CareBear

    CareBear Is considering whats next

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    3,038
    Likes Received:
    0
    In the UK we don't have open adoption but you have to agree to remain in contact with the birth family via letters sent through the adoption agency which are only exchanged once or maybe twice a year. You would also expect to be in contact with any siblings but it all depends on the different circumstances and why the child cannot remain with the birth family.
     
  19. sma1588

    sma1588 mommy 2 kaydence

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    Messages:
    3,654
    Likes Received:
    0
    well ladies i think im to the point now where i think im just gonna give up on ttc and just go with nature and if it happens it happens. im not using any protection and have very long cycles so i think i will just take my vitex to get regulated and hope it will help but im not gonna take it much farther to stress my self out. i didnt wanna give up completly so i will just let nature take its corse
     
  20. Blue12

    Blue12 icsi miracle xo

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2009
    Messages:
    9,938
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am in canada and my brother adopted 2 children over a year ago and they mentioned that there were some details such as that they were not to be going through any treatment cycles or trying anymore while they were in the adoption process - to what extent of having to use contraceptives, I am not sure.
     

Share This Page