Anyone else feel the same?

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by OmarsMum, Nov 12, 2011.

  1. OmarsMum

    OmarsMum Well-Known Member
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    Omar is having tantrums for nothing those days. If he goes into his carseat we have a tantrum, if I try to take him out, there in another tantrum, we have a tantrum if we leave home & another one when we go back home.

    Today he had a tantrum in the toddlers class then asked to leave, when I said ok we're leaving he had another tantrum because he didn't want to leave :wacko:

    I end up holding him, talking to him, showing him that I do understand but I don't feel sympathetic, I just act automatically. I don't even feel guilty for not sharing his feelings, I feel frustrated as I don't really understand why he's acting this way. I don't show him how I feel as I try to act so cool & under control.

    He's fed, changed, etc. He's not teething or sick. He's going out to have fun, he asks to go to classes, he likes to go out, but he's grump most of the time.
     
  2. staycutee

    staycutee mummy

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    I know exactly how you feel, Lucas doesn't have tantrums at home really but when we leave the house the smallest thing will start one off, and they last for about 10 minutes each time. I find it really embarrassing and no idea what to do about it really. I've tried time out and walking away when he does it but obviously they are things I can't really do in the middle of Sainsburys.
     
  3. Tacey

    Tacey Well-Known Member

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    This too shall pass!

    We go through these phases, and they're so tough. We had an hour long meltdown here the other day because I moved a teddy bear off the sofa! Unfortunately, I don't manage quite as well as you at times and end up getting cross and having to leave, or worse, shouting. It sounds like you're doing a great job of handling it. It is entirely normal, especially for children who feel things deeply like Omar. Keep on plugging away and things will hopefully get better in a while.

    Edit: Just another thought. If it often happens when he's at classes, could it be because he's overwhelmed because he likes them a lot? You know how children often end up crying at their own birthday parties because they get giddy and over aroused? I have had to stop going to indoor play places and toddler groups recently as they work Alice up too much. Just a thought!
     
  4. OmarsMum

    OmarsMum Well-Known Member
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    Sometimes I end up laughing which is horrible as it adds to his frustration. :nope:

    DH is so cool & very good at controlling his emotions but sometimes he also looses it, he doesn't shout, but he just leave the room.

    My biggest problem is holding him, as I'm small & can't control his well. I also suffer from chronic back pains & it kills my back every time I have to carry him to control his tantrums.
     
  5. sophxx

    sophxx Well-Known Member

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    I'm very small and have constant back pain as my lo is a big boy when he tries a tantrum If were at toddlers class I just lie him down on the floor where he safe and wait for him tonstand up when he's ready cuddling him makes it worse for us and kills my back x
     
  6. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    :hugs: Our LOs are almost the same age, and mine will also tantrum for no apparent reason recently. Either that or it's a reason I have no control over. So exhausting! I am just doing what you are doing and hoping that this will pass! My son will get mad at me and throw toys/things around the room too - it's so hard to know how to deal with stuff like this at the moment. I've done lots of reading, but at the time it's just so hard! xx
     
  7. QTPie

    QTPie Well-Known Member

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    Not tantrums as such here, but a lot of whinginess, a lot of independence, a lot of physicalness (pulling my places by my thumb/finger, squirming when being dressed, getting out if carseat etc). He is over 27lbs and strong.... A lot of ignoring me (if I say something once, I say it 1000 times). Not much cuddles.

    He isn't bad at all (and is sleeping very well :) ), but I feel so "shut out" and that makes me feel down :(

    Everything is a struggle and I am physically knachered (not sleepy, just worn out trying to physically handle such a strong, independent, active child...)

    QT
     
  8. OmarsMum

    OmarsMum Well-Known Member
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    Tacey: those tantrums started recently. We've been going to classes since he was 16 months. When he was younger, he used to stand up & dance all the time. We didn't go in July & August only. When we started to go again in sept he was fine but always too quiet in the classes.

    He wasn't feeling well for two weeks, but he started to get better last week. All those tantrums started when he was sick, he used to have some meltdowns earlier but nothing major.

    Now everything is a battle with crying & lying down on the floor
     
  9. eddjanuary10

    eddjanuary10 Well-Known Member

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    Ihsan had never really had a proper tantrum until yesterday! We were out at the shopping centre with my Mum, sister and niece and he just wasn't interested in lying dwn for a nap even although he was clearly tired and ready, he just thought because 'Nanny' was there he would act up! I told him he was going in his pram and it was time to sleep and he threw the biggest tantrum, my Mum had to help me put him in the pram as he was stiff and would NOT go in he is very very strong no way I'd have got him in by myself! Anyway, I ignored his tantrum and after 2minutes he was asleep. Never been so pleased to see him nap I was in such a hot flush!!

    I think they are really testing the boundaries and letting us know they have minds of their own and don't always want to do what we wish. I think tantrums can be worse if they are tired or feeling under the weather as sometimes they probably don't understand whats wrong with them but other times its just for no apparent reason or they don't want to do someting. I remember my younger bro used to have major tantrums around 2-3years old, he was crraazzy sometimes but it soon passed. Totally normal phase I think, but NOT fun!!!

    xx
     
  10. Lara310809

    Lara310809 Mum of 3 girls

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    My daughter's happy most of the time, but she's throwing tantrums a lot, over really small things. Like a nappy change. She will be uncomfortable in a nappy she's been wearing all night, or one she's poohed in, and I say "come on, let's change your nappy". As soon as I pick her up and lie her down she screams at me, kicks me and wriggles about. Once I've got the nappy off and cleaned her, she's fine. Then when I'm putting her trousers on again, she gets angry again :dohh:

    She's like that with a lot of things. I have to try to figure out when she's going to throw a tantrum and find a way to diffuse it. Most of the time I try diversion tactics, but it's getting hard.
     
  11. Septie

    Septie Well-Known Member

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    Oh yes, sounds familiar. And my LO is also getting too heavy for me to carry. We ignore, or do time-outs (when the misbehaving is dangerous, or when he is too rough with his baby brother). I try to ignore the looks by others in public. He loooves to test our boundaries (and knows exactly what he is not supposed to do! Though sometimes he does not seem to be in control of his own mood). Of course, according to my mother and my in-laws, OH and I NEVER had tantrums s kids and were angels, and our LO is just really misbehaved and we are not raising him well in that regard (father in law recommended spanking) :wacko:
     
  12. polaris

    polaris Mother of two

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    I get very frustrated with Thomas sometimes recently. I have raised my voice to him and told him to shut up on several occasions. It makes me feel terrible when I lose my temper. I actually don't mind the tantrums so much as the whiny shouty voice that he does when he wants something, he just whines and whines and whines even when I've told him no and sometimes when I'm not in the mood it just goes through me. If I get angry with him, I do explain to him that I am leaving the room now because I'm angry and afterwards I say sorry to him if I have shouted at him and explain to him that I was angry but that I love him very much. We have lots of cuddles at the moment to make up for the times when he is getting on my nerves and I am getting on his!
     
  13. MrsBandEgglet

    MrsBandEgglet Mummy to 3, expecting #4

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    Oh gosh yes Arf knows how to throw a strop good and proper! We get whinging when he drops something, more whinging when he has to go out the kitchen so we can close the kitchen door (our kitchen is teeeny tiny) and we get whinging galore whenever he's trying and failing to do something, like a shape sorter or put something into something else. In this instance I often have no idea what he's trying to do so I can't help him, which just breeds more whinging lol. It drives me nuts sometimes and DH says to me, just ignore him but I feel like I'd just be ignoring him all flipping day :dohh:
     
  14. QTPie

    QTPie Well-Known Member

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    Phew... Feels like I am not alone (mums of similarly aged toddlers going through a whingey/contrary patch too) :)

    I hate it when it makes me grumpy.... :( - i know that I should always rise above it and ignore it.... It can get very wearing though...
     
  15. Jchihuahua

    Jchihuahua Mummy to 3

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    Daisy has tantrums over nothing. Not often but when she does they are huge and upsetting. We went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and stayed in a hotel and it was all too much of a huge change of routine and she just lost it completely in the hotel, screaming, biting, threw a fruit pot at me which burst open and went all over my clothes for the wedding 5 minutes before we were due to go to the venue. I am usually pretty good at appearing totally calm, even though I usually don't feel it, and I havent ever shouted or raised my voice at her apart from once when she was waking every 2 hours a night over a year ago. But on this occasion in the hotel I snapped and said 'you horrible little girl, you deserve a smacked bottom' then I just burst into tears myself and could hardly believe I'd said it. I would never ever smack her, ever, and she is not horrible at all, she's amazing, and I hated myself so much for saying it. I feel a bit tearful now just typing it actually. I know it was down to my pregnancy hormones as much as Daisy's behaviour but I hated that I lost control.
     
  16. MrsBandEgglet

    MrsBandEgglet Mummy to 3, expecting #4

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    :hugs::hugs:

    Most likely more to do with the pregnancy hun; I really struggled for a while xx
     
  17. tu123

    tu123 Well-Known Member

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    Yes. I hear you!

    Lillian gets into such a state when i change her (although pull up nappies have helped), put her in the stroller, in the highchair, dress her, bath her, undress her, dry her, go home from the park, etc, etc.

    I am developing a "I hear you but i wont let it frustrate me" voice!
     
  18. jenny82

    jenny82 Well-Known Member

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    Ohhh yes! We've had lots of tantrums recently! Some days are better than others, but I'm like you - I remove him, talk to him but I have no sympathy, unless he has a real reason to be upset.

    On Friday, C had a tantrum at rhymetime. I do think he was overwhelmed though and that was fine. He just wanted to read so we left the circle and I went with him. Then he wanted to leave and asked to go home! So we left the library completely and I then took him to the park behind the library. He then had a tantrum because he didn't want to go to the park - then had a tantrum 20 minutes later because we were leaving!

    Oh and also a tantrum because I put his hat on. Then a tantrum because I took it off! :dohh:

    And finally, a tantrum because we drove past the library on the way home...and he wanted back in!

    Friday was a rollercoaster day :)
     
  19. TennisGal

    TennisGal Well-Known Member

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    Yep, Lizzie's mostly coincide with tiredness or everything being a bit too exciting! We had a fabulous one recently...we'd been to music and dance class, and as my mum had Ally, I thought it would be nice for us to do something else fun, as we had a bit of time before next feed! So we went for a drink...milkshake treat for Lizzie, and then q ride on those little merry go round things by shops. And then came the refusal to get off, the meltdown, the making herself go long and rigid so I couldn't lift her...the looks from everyone...then finally the getting into carseat...and falling asleep!!

    I was so embarrassed at the looks, and I literally had to carry her under my arm like a clutch bag!!

    We are not alone, thankfully, I think everyone goes through this phase...and those who don't, well I think they are fibbing ;)
     
  20. hattiehippo

    hattiehippo Well-Known Member

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    I'm with all of you here. Tom is so emotional at the moment and the slightest things sets off screaming and crying. He wakes up in a grump some days and you know the whole day is going to be hard. And he is also so strong even though he's only around 24lbs I struggle to hold him or control him physically when I have to.

    we had the worse time ever in John Lewis 2 weekends ago. Tom didn't sleep in the car so was tired. He screamed to be out of the pushchair and then ran riot in the kids clothes. When you got his hand or tried to pick him up he would scream, wriggle away and then run or crawl off at high speed. I ended up with him under my arm and the looks from the other people with their angelic children!!!! I thought DH was going to have a breakdown - He's not seen Tom that bad before.

    I know what you mean about not feeling very sympathetic...quite often now I leave him to scream or just say 'you can make that noise as much as you want but nothings changing' and feel such a bad mum.
     

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