Anyone else feeling totally disconnected?

[Sheadknight]

I already feel like a terrible mom and I'm not even through the first trimester.
I was TTC for 6 cycles, finally got that BFP a few days after Christmas, had the few days of euphoric excitement, and now..? Totally freaking out and feeling no connection with Bean whatsoever. Am I a terrible person? All these doubts....

 

[Sazzoire]

what kind of doubts hun? xx

 

[hoping4girl]

no, you aren't!!! It is perfectly normal, don't worry!!! every once in a while I wonder if we did the right thing, then I think of holding that perfect baby in my arms, smelling that wonderful baby smell, and it makes me feel better its ok to have doubts, everyone does. you realized your entire world is going to change, it won't be the same anymore, and change is scary. no worries, it will all turn out right in the end

 

[Sheadknight]

Well, I'm 36... am I really ready to start life over with a new baby? Was this really such a good idea? I'm doubting my abilities, my sanity and my, it seems, everything in between. Sanity may be a total loss already. Hehehe

 

[miss malteser]

Sheadknight, you could be describing me! I´ve got to the point where I´m not sleeping well because I´m so stressed about everything. Deep down I know everything will be fine, we both wanted this baby, we were TTC for 3 months before I got my bfp, we´ll be able to cope, etc. but the doubts just won´t leave me alone.

 

[Sazzoire]

I was 35 when I had my 1st and will be 37 when I have my second... I'm not gonna lie, it is a life changer but OMG sooooo worth it!! I think doubts are natural, especially when you get to your mid 30's as it takes you out of your comfort zone. But babies are sooo fulfilling!

You will connect more as you get bigger, fall in love with your bump, see you LO on scans etc...

xx

 

[kat2504]

Every pregnant woman goes through doubts even when the baby is very much wanted. It's a massive change in your life and it's normal to have a few wobbles. It doesn't mean you'll be a bad mum at all. It's normal to be nervous about what the future will bring.

As for being "connected" well that takes time too. Pregnancy is 9 months long for a reason - to give you time to get ready for having the baby. The connection will build over time - when you first see the baby on the scan, when you feel movement for the first time, the second scan, when you have a nice big bump. It can happen gradually over the 9 months, not overnight as soon as you pee on the stick. That's perfectly normal and nothing to worry about.

 

[MrsKB 82]

I wrote a similar, if not more self-deprecating post a few weeks ago.
I got pregnant on our first try - literally! We were in shock for days, and I had several difficult conversations with Hubby about whether we were doing the right thing or not. I still wonder what possess us to do this to be honest! We love our life and our friends, and socialise a lot in very child un-friendly places, so everything will change. But, we've always wanted to have a family and I am focussing on the fact that this is a new and exciting journey that we will share together - good and not so good.
I am not connected to my blueberry (as it is right now!) in any way at all - but we've started to talk about it a lot more and I'm sure once we see the baby on the scan it will all change.
xxx

 

[AC1987]

Awww I think its a normal feeling to feel! I've just now started to become slightly attached, but its like I'm protecting myself incase something bad does happen.

 

[beccad]

I worry every day how we're going to manage. This baby is very much wanted but that still doesn't stop me having moments of 'WTF am I doing?!'

FWIW, I didn't feel 'connected' when I was at your stage, then the morning sickness started I didn't resent the baby exactly, but didn't like how it was making me feel! At the moment I can't say that I love my baby, but if I think about it not being there it upsets me.

Try not to think about what you're 'giving up', but what you're going to gain. Life does have to change, but you don't have to change everything about who you are. You can still be you and do the things you want to do, just that you have to consider the needs of the small person you have to take along with you

 

[ParisJeTadore]

Don't feel bad at all! Just today while driving in the car I thought, "Am I suppose to feel more connected to my baby at the moment than I do??" Then I thought, I am only in my 5th week, I'm not even showing yet, it's all SO new and this is a huge change for me so I think that I am acting perfectly normal. I'm excited, happy, but also scared. Scared of all the unknown. Will I enjoy being a mother (I think I will but how do you ever know until you've taken on the role??)? Will I be good at it? Will I get through pregnancy without lots of anxiety (something I suffer from) and fear of childbirth?

My best advice to you is take it ONE day at a time and put no expectations on yourself. Also, I know it's hard to be an optimist but if there's one thing I am learning as I start this adventure it's to try and be more positive. Feed yourself lots of good comments to help counter the fearful ones.