Anyone else moving home before, or shortly after the baby is here?!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Bournefree, Aug 28, 2009.

  1. Bournefree

    Bournefree Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    the OH and myself are buying a new house, but are having a bit of a fight with the mortgage underwritters (that's a long story, that I won't bore you all with) essentially with the Credit Crunch stuff, they have tightened up thier purse-strings.. however we have our fingers crossed they will release the money!!

    The problem lies that we have rented out our current home - and can't go back on it. We have to move on the 12th Sept, but our new house, isn't ours, and is unlikley to be ours till at least Oct at the earliest. So we are facing perhaps NOT being in our new home before Nov 22nd when I'm due and being homeless!!!

    We have a back-up plan - which is to move to my sisters flat, which she only uses on weekends, but it is a good hour away and in a different county. Meaning that I will have to move all of maternity care... and possibly mean that I will have to abandon my plans for a home birth!
    Couple of reasons for this - 1. the midwifery team in the new county does support home birth but were honest in saying that they actually only happen for about 10% of those women that want them, due to staff shortages!!
    2. my sister doesn't want me to ruin the new carpet!
    3. the hospital, unlike where I live in Bournemouth (where it is 3miles away to a midwife-lead unit, and 5 miles to the obstrician lead unit), is a good 20-25miles on blue-light away from the flat.. this is also the reason the midwifes feel uncomfortable with home births for the the area, and gives me some concerns too.

    I'm trying to find alternative accomodation, so we can stay in the area with my midwife that I have known since the very begining and is very supportive and excited for us having a home birth there are 5 midwifes in the local area and it would be unlikely that I wouldn't be able to have my baby at home (wherever that is)
    The alternatives however are expensive - shortterm accomodation has a huge hike on it.. for example £1000 for 3 weeks in a static caravan.. £200 a week in a flat. We are both luckly and unluckly being in Bournemouth for accomodation.. there are lots of places to stay short term because of tourism in the area, but they all come at a premium, as there is little drop in demand with the seasons.


    I read on a few other post that some of you ladies are moving also... I just wanted to know who else was out there deciding either to move before or after the birth and how are you getting on - and what are your stress levels like???
    I have had a little fit of tears most days!

    I having a hard time nesting - without a nest!!

    XXXX
     
  2. littlekitten8

    littlekitten8 Mummy of 1

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    I am moving house tomorrow! Its been very stressful with all the packing and trying to find a suitable place before our lease was up on the current one. I have my parents coming to help move as OH can't get any time off work. Hope you find somewhere suitable soon hun.
     
  3. Bournefree

    Bournefree Well-Known Member

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    Gosh, bet you are pleased that you have some help to move - I'm worried about us putting everything into storage properly, so that when it comes out again, we can get to all the essentials - and that is with the help of my OH!!
    How are your energy levels at 32wks??? - I can feel mine dwindling all the time, and I'm worried that I will be next to useless except just getting stressed that things aren't being done how I want them!!
    xx
     
  4. Rebaby

    Rebaby Mama to 2 boys

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    Oh no, that sounds really stressful :hugs: I really feel for you.

    We moved house when i was about 16 weeks (ish) and that was hard enough. I was suffering with hyperemesis at the time so was about as much use as a chocolate tea pot as i was throwing up constantly and incredibly weak.

    Luckily we both had time off for the actual move, and it meant we are now feeling settled in ready for LO but it was hard at the time, and as is always the way, people who say they'll help never actually end up doing. A couple of OH's friends were fab though i have to say, helping him carry beds and wardrobes etc.

    I hope you manage to get something sorted soon hun :hugs:
     
  5. Bournefree

    Bournefree Well-Known Member

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    Wow Rebaby, that sounds pretty hard moving and not feeling well to boot! I'm hoping that things WILL turn out for the best, and we will be in the new house before (I don't care even if it is a week before!) and able to nest and set everything up!!
    I'm having horrible dreams about loosing the baby in a box while trying to find the tea, and forgetting where I put the little one!!! I know what I'm like at loosing my keys!!!
    xx
     
  6. harmonybunny

    harmonybunny Mummy to Murphy

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    We just moved house last week, it was a major stress but it was well worth it :) !
    We had a really hard time to begin with because we had to move out of our flat, it was a one bedroom, top floor deal and just wasn't suitable. My aunt and uncle who live abroad own a gorgeous 3 bedroom bungalow in the little town i grew up in and they kindly agreed to let it out to us which was fab. It's in the same town that my mum and extended family live in so it all sounds great doesn't it? The downside came when my aunt and uncle began playing funny games after we had already given our notice to leave our old place. They are divorced and are trying to out do each other. My uncle said he didn't want to take rent from us and as long as we paid the bills then the house was ours. My maternal aunt wanted rent so we agreed a price but she kept adding in clause after clause to the point of the ridiculous! I really didn't want to move in after that but we had no other choice in the matter.
    My aunt has a serious problem. She can't have kids and gets really jealous and spiteful at times towards me because i'm pregnant. She'll send me quite nasty emails but then be so polite tome when we're face o face or infront of family. Luckily they all know what she's like and support me. Ofcourse i feel sorry for her predicament but it's not my fault. My OH and I try to tolerate her nonsense and just smile through it but it's hard. Anyway we moved last week only to discover that she has locked one of the bedroom doors and left us with a ton of gym equipment in the other two rooms so we can't even set up the nursery or unpack until we find somewhere to shift it! The baby is due in 8 weeks and i'm going out of my mind. I developed a chest infection and uti yesterday and feel utterly exhausted due to all of the unnecessary stress. I'm now on antibiotics and steroid inhalers.
    Luckily my uncle came to visit and managed to get into the locked room and set the place up all nice for us, he even got us a new carpet and did some maintainance work. The place now looks great and we can start moving the gym equipment into the other room, unpack and get the wee ones nursery looking perfect for his arrival! Here's hoping that everything is beginning to settle. My OH has had the patience of a saint lol! It has been such a trying time.
    Anyhoo, i can totally sympathise with you and really hope that everything gets sorted out for you really soon. Just try your best to stay calm which i know is much easier said than done. Hugs xx
     
  7. Bournefree

    Bournefree Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Harmonybunny,

    That does sound frighteningly stressful!!! I don't know how you have coped?! Great that your Uncle has been more supportive, along with the rest of your family.

    I do know what you mean though about women that can't have children and their attitudes towards those of us that are pregnant - I have an old friend that can't seem to bear being with me at the moment; she makes sly comments too like "oh, I hope you are not going to be one of those people that parade there bumps about in the open, with your-types funny veins and bellybuttons popping out!" - THE CHEEK!
    Ooooh I have to bite my tongue! I admit to having bad thoughts, and imagine laying into her about her inadequacies - terrible isn't it and I'm not proud..but why should you have to be mindful of someones feelings that clearly isn't mindful of yours?!

    Back to the moving; I pleased that you have managed to come out the other end, and seem to be more in control - I hope that things stay that way for you! Sometimes it can just feel like something that is HAPPENING to you, like rolling down a hill, that you have no control over!

    I'd get the gym equipment out of there - esp if you are paying rent.. surely you are renting the whole space! You sound as though you have a great OH to give you strengh and support
    XXX
     
  8. Szaffi

    Szaffi Well-Known Member

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    Hi!

    We've been in the market for a house for long time, but when we started to have mortgage problems decided to let go and rent again for a while (We wanted desperately get out of our noisy, drafty apartment, in a pretty bad part of town, with very little hot water pressure). So we finally found a small house and we'll be moving as of next week.

    I've left 1 months overlap between the two places, so we should have plenty of time, but it still feels pretty daunting with both of us in full time jobs and no family or friends around to help. We don't have a lot of stuff, so I though a full removal was a waste of money, but decided to rent a guy with a van to help hubby move the more clunky stuff, as I don't want to lift anymore. I imagine it'll be pretty stressful next month :(

    And to make things worse, we also moving office in September, so have to repeat the boxing exercize at work at the same time.

    Obviously our situation is a little better than yours, as we should be settled in by the end of September, though then we'll have to start hunting some stuff down for the baby, the house. I totally understand what you said about lack of nest - I felt like this, and haven't bought anything yet nursery-wise.

    Though a lot of my friends told me not to worry about the nursery too much, as very little is needed for a newborn and can get stuff as we go along. However, I worry that getting things in December, in the Christmas crowd, and also in January, when a lot of shops close for inventory may not be exactly easy.

    Good luck, and if you can afford it, try to find somewhere to stay for at least a couple of weeks. And try not to stress too much! :hugs:
     
  9. MummyToAmberx

    MummyToAmberx Mum to 3 Girls 1 Boy

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    I aint in 3rd tri just yet, i wont be moving till oct i think.
    anywhere from 32-34wks i think.
    Can only hope things run smoothly.
     
  10. DizzyMoo

    DizzyMoo Guest

    Yep me hopefully before baby is born although it'll be pushing it doing it all alone.
    I'm in a seriously tiny box 2 bed house so have to move as i can't even get a moses basket in this poxy living room .

    Dreading it!
     
  11. loopylj

    loopylj Well-Known Member

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    we could be moving at the end of September as we rent at the minute and our lease is coming to an end. I'm due 22nd October. If not it will be the end of November :s Got plenty of help though cos i will be no help at all if I'm still pregnant lol xx
     
  12. littlekitten8

    littlekitten8 Mummy of 1

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    Energy levels vary day by day so I've just got to hope tomorrow is a day where my energy isn't too bad. Luckily my main jobs tomorrow are directing to the house, directing where things go, making cups of tea...and directing my dad to pick up the sofa.
     
  13. Bournefree

    Bournefree Well-Known Member

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    Szaffi - that really is hardcore, moving house and moving office!!! Not sure that I could do all of that and be pregnant!
    Having an overlap, sounds like a very very good idea.. and I hope your man with a van comes up trumps! You have got me thinking that getting stuff before christmas is going to be a nightmare!! Hadn't thought of that before!!
    good luck to you too!

    MummyToAmber - totally sympathise, I sure that I'll be far gone too by the time we move again to the new place (that's if it doesn't fall through!)
    Fingers crossed for you too

    Dizzymoo - you can't do it all alone.. surely?? how about the Man-with-a-van idea? I'd help, if I lived any closer¬!

    Littlekiten8 - let me know how you get on tomorrow and in the following days.. I think that for me, it will be too tempting NOT to move boxes around, and try and put things away and up.. que me standing on chairs and doing things that I really shouldn't be doing!

    Thank you to all of you - It's good to not be alone in these crazy ideas of moving!! Why does it have to take so long?!?

    Where would you live?
    local options:
    1 Static Caravan - £333 a week
    2 Small mobile caravan - we can borrow one and put it up on a site for £94.50 a week
    3 Rent a flat - £200 a week
    4 B&B - £140 a week

    or an hour away at my sister's flat.. cheap, just paying bills, but away from my midwife? meaning having to move doctors etc. Which might only be short-term??

    Answers on a postcard please!!

    xxx
     
  14. littlekitten8

    littlekitten8 Mummy of 1

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    Its a difficult decision but I think for me I would rather change midwifes and live at my sisters flat. We have to move drs, consultant and midwife. You never know, you might get on just as well with the new midwife hehe.
     
  15. Cut3ne55

    Cut3ne55 Mummy to Evie

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    hey, ur in a similar position 2 me. me and OH jst bought a house and are currently renting a flat, we have to be out the flat by 1st sept but the house needs alot of work doing and i want it all 2 be done and 2 be settled by 12th nov when our bubs is due! so looks like im gonna be stayin with mum for a couple weeks till everythings sorted n my stress levels r sky high atm lol x
     
  16. Bournefree

    Bournefree Well-Known Member

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    Cut3ne55 - wowzers.. is it really alot of work that needs doing to your new place??!!
    How are you going to manage that? Are you getting trades people in? Although there is lots that we want to do to the new place - replace all the windows.. change the central heating (it's like an ice block in there at the moment) and build a rear elevation extention; I dont' think that we will be doing it till the baby is here we are planning on using the fireplace for warmth.. and there is hot water, so I can cope with that, as I know that it will be ours!

    Fingers crossed for you, and you get it all done while you're at your mums - it's bound to be easier than trying to do it while you and the baby are there!!

    Don't they say that moving, getting married, and having a baby are some of the most stressful things you can do in life!! Some of us decide to do at least 2 of these at once!!
    Fingers crossed for you too sweet - let me know how you get on?
    xxx
     
  17. Rebaby

    Rebaby Mama to 2 boys

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    Personally i'd go with rent a flat short term, as it avoids upheaval of all your services but if it's not possible financially then i'd go with the sister's flat option.
     
  18. Szaffi

    Szaffi Well-Known Member

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    You are brave Bournefree - I chickened out from the renovation and baby at the same time - I'm sure it'll backfire financially, but I felt I couldn't cope.

    I think I'd try to see a midwife in your sister's area first, and if my impressions are bad, I'd go for a flat-rental.

    2 years ago, hubby and I had to live in a small cramped studio for a months as the works at our rental apartment weren't ready. It was so small that once the bed built into the wall was on the floor, you could hardly walk around anymore, but it was alright, as we knew we'd be getting out soon. The worst part was not having a proper kitchen and eating out a lot on crap food due to that.
     
  19. rubyrose

    rubyrose Guest

    Hi there hun,

    I am moving after the baby is born because i cant now basically lol. I'm a ft student nurse and not entitled to housing benefit till his born so i have to wait as i cant afford it without that help and child tax credits as my husband lost his job earlier this year. We are spending about a month at my dads waiting for the child tax credits to get paid in and bubs birth certificate then we are gona start looking.

    To be honest, its not stresed me out too much. We are looking for somewhere thats part furnished or fully anyway so that saves a lot of stress and im actually quite looking forward to taking lo out in his pram and finding a new home. :)

    Hope everything goes well for you xx
     
  20. soootired

    soootired Well-Known Member

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    Hi all, I thought i was the only mad one to move house when pregnant. It is not easy!
    We sold our house 3 months ago and moved into a studio flat i normally rent out while buying our new house. We finally compleated last week but have gutted the inside and have a month of work to do to it before i can move in. I am paranoid about having the baby early as really dont want a baby in a studio flat.
    I would go for your sisters flat or a flat if you can afford it. Somewhere you will be happy and relaxed to have the baby, cant imagine a home birth in a mobile caravan. What about looking for an annex or something like that to rent? I have two self contained annex/bedsits that i rent for 450 a month including bills (a long way from you though lol).
    I wouldnt worry to much about changing midwives i am sure you will find one you like where you move to and you can keep the same hospital. Just be carefull when moving your midwife care when pregnant as i had been forgotten about by my midwife as she thought i was moving so she never arranged my gtt or anti d jab. luckily a new i needed these and called the hospital direct at 28 weeks to get them.
    Good luck to all it can be stressful buts its all worth it :)
     

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