Anyone else newly pregnant after 2 losses and feels like nobody gives a damn?

[Mrs Miggins]

Hi! I had 2 losses last year at 7 weeks in April and 10 weeks in October. I've been either ttc or pregnant since January 2011 and have just got a bfp again and doctors or midwives don't seem to care. After 3 losses you are considered recurrent miscarriage (and god knows I don't want that) and after 1 loss you think it's bad luck and next one will be ok, but after 2 you are in kind of limbo land. Nobody will give me an early scan (not that I'm sure I want one) and I am having to jump through hoops to get consultant led care. Blood tests recently have shown low progesterone.
Anyone else in PAL after 2 losses limbo land?

 

[georgeblossom]

This does seem very tough on you! My EPU have really offered lots of support, I am similar to you, 2 miscarriages 5th Nov'11 and 1st Feb'12. After 2nd miscarriage EPU said to take aspirin as soon as I find out I am pregnant again and then ring them to get support. They will early scan and also someone to talk to.
I would not really use GPS and midwifes for support with early miscarrages. But I think EPU should be supporting you more. The nurse practictioner at my GPs refered me last time and I formed quite strong links with a couple of the nurses in the EPU.
Keep pushing for support hon!
We are going to be TTC after my AF in May. We have had a 3 cycle wait to get ready.

X

 

[jennijunni]

I am in the US and things are a bit different here. I too am pregnant again, after suffering 2 2nd trimester losses last year, one at 17 weeks, and one at 15 weeks. I am 6+5 today, and it is so nerve wracking! My doctors would of course like to see me right away, but I know that there is nothing to be done in the first trimester. My issue is in the beginning of the second trimester. This time, we are trying extra progesterone, and baby asprin. I really hope it does the trick this time. I really want to end my baby years on a positive note. So GL to you and others who have had recurrent losses.

 

[livinginhope]

Mrs M, your OP was so spot on I could have written it myself... we started TTC in Jan 11 and had a MC at almost 10 weeks in May, and a MMC diagnosed at 8 weeks in early Dec.

I've not yet seen my GP about this pregnancy, my appointment's booked for next Thurs... but I know I'll not get offered any more care than in previous pregnancies

I've had a bunch of blood tests, as my GP was kind enough to put me through them after 2, rather than waiting for 3, but nothing came up. The surgeon who did my ERPC in Jan 12 suggested aspirin, but then my GP advised against it because my first MC had been so, erm, dramatic (apparently thinning the blood could make it an even scarier experience) and my antiphospholipid test was negative.

So here I am at 6 weeks, none the wiser as to whether this time will be any different. I had a private scan at 8 weeks last time (good job too, or it'd have been my 12 week scan before I found out the baby had died at 6 weeks), but it's so expensive, so I'm toying with the idea of waiting till the first NHS scan. Though I can't wait for that time to come, I'm dreading it, having had five scans in the past year, and none of them had positive outcomes.

Are you planning to get a private scan for reassurance, or just tough it out as best you can?!

All that said, I personally know three women who suffered two losses before having their first child (and one went on to have three kiddies!), so while I'm nervous, I'm not giving up hope yet.

 

[MightyMom]

Aw, so sorry you are feeling ignored! I can completely relate to your OP. The first loss you are devastated because you just never think it can happen to you. The second loss everyone seems to call it bad luck or a bad roll of the dice...again. On your third people seem to look at you like "Why are you even trying this again?" I don't understand why people are so dismissive. Like I don't feel broken enough already, I need other people looking at me like the defective mommy doll.

 

[charl_uk]

i have had 2 mc, 1 mc at 8weeks and 1 mmc where the sac measured 11w3d, i am now 8w6d pregnant and even though im over the moon i think im exactly in your position, i had a scan at 6weeks and all was fine, my doctor sent me for this scan because i told her i had pains, however i am now dealing with the midwife, my symptoms have subsided and i rang her up to tell her my worries and she said because im not 12weeks theres nothing she can do and its perfectly normal to lose your symptoms! i was pretty pissed off at her reply because surely all it would of took was her to ring up the hospital and book me in for a scan to check????? it was as if to say youve only had 2 mc and until your 12weeks ok, we dont consider you on our books.
let me know if you get further than i have, and i do understand how you feel, its very frustrating!!! xx

 

[georgeblossom]

i have had 2 mc, 1 mc at 8weeks and 1 mmc where the sac measured 11w3d, i am now 8w6d pregnant and even though im over the moon i think im exactly in your position, i had a scan at 6weeks and all was fine, my doctor sent me for this scan because i told her i had pains, however i am now dealing with the midwife, my symptoms have subsided and i rang her up to tell her my worries and she said because im not 12weeks theres nothing she can do and its perfectly normal to lose your symptoms! i was pretty pissed off at her reply because surely all it would of took was her to ring up the hospital and book me in for a scan to check????? it was as if to say youve only had 2 mc and until your 12weeks ok, we dont consider you on our books.
let me know if you get further than i have, and i do understand how you feel, its very frustrating!!! xx

This is frustrating! Its like you need to make a big fuss to get scanned! It seems us ladies have to work out how to beat the system! My first pregnancy I had know idea what to do when I first had some bleeding and it was in the evening, so I just went to A&E and they refered me to EPU, so thats how I got a scan. The second time I when to the nurse practioner at my GPS and she rang thE EPU unit for a scan.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

I'd like to say I can't believe the way you have been treated but sadly I can. I got scanned with my two losses, with the first I started spotting on the Sunday night and bleeding on Monday morning and they got me in on the Monday, but the second time even though I was bleeding and cramping epu didnt want to know unless I had a referral from my gp. So I had to go to the gp and he had to ring epu to get me an appointment and they couldn't get me in till the next day by which time the heartbeat had stopped. It's so awful. Thank you all for your replies and I'm so sorry that we have all not received better care.
It's looking like I won't be seeing anybody until June. No early scan, nothing. Like you say Charl until you are 12 weeks they don't care.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Livinginhope I won't be getting a private scan I can't afford it. I lost my second one at ten weeks so I wouldn't have peace of mind until after then anyway.
Jennijunni I can't imagine how traumatic and difficult two second tri losses must have been for you. I'm so sorry.