Anyone else not sure they want oh at delivery?

[CordeliaJ]

I want my DH there, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES can he look. He says he won't, and I trust him. Let's face it, if you don't want him to look, and he does, you will probably shout bloody murder at him while you're in labour, haha. I'm sure he won't if you asked him not to.

Also, just as an aside for those saying "he's seen it all before" - I've heard it likened to 'watching your favourite restaurant burn down', by other men. Now while yeah he would probably get past it just fine, I don't think I want our sex life ruined by images of birth. The two things may be intimately related, but they don't have to be visually related too. It's all just personal preference, nothing wrong with wanting to keep the magic. x

 

[special_kala]

I want my DH there, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES can he look. He says he won't, and I trust him. Let's face it, if you don't want him to look, and he does, you will probably shout bloody murder at him while you're in labour, haha. I'm sure he won't if you asked him not to.

Also, just as an aside for those saying "he's seen it all before" - I've heard it likened to 'watching your favourite restaurant burn down', by other men. Now while yeah he would probably get past it just fine, I don't think I want our sex life ruined by images of birth. The two things may be intimately related, but they don't have to be visually related too. It's all just personal preference, nothing wrong with wanting to keep the magic. x

Men who say things like that seem to me like tools anyway and they wouldnt have the privilege of being invited down their under any circumstances

 

[xdxxtx]

My partner watched as I pooped all over the table while pushing initially and all the yuck and the baby coming out and EVERYthing. I could definitely understand NOT wanting your partner to see that. It didn't affect us - I mean, obviously - we got pregnant again as soon as my fertility came back. lol... My partner thought it was a magical experience, though... It wasn't ME pushing out a baby - it was OUR baby coming into the world. My partner held my hand the entire time and made sure I was happy and comfortable... I think the time I had the flu and was sitting on the toilet and he rushed in to give me a trash can so I could throw up in it was a lot worse. Haha

 

[TatorMom]

I was a bit nervous about DH seeing how "big" things got down there as baby came out, but he wasn't bothered by it in the slightest. He thought it was the neatest thing ever! He was able to deliver DS2, which is said was the most amazing experience of his life and still talks about it to this day. I've had a different OB with each baby, but my current one has no problem with DH catching this one. I'm really excited about it and so is he. I do understand how you feel though. It's not something you'd want him to miss though. It really is a once in a lifetime thing.

 

[JJWEBB]

My husband told me he doesn’t want to look, he wants to just be by my side. He jokes that hes going to have a flask in there with him, lol! People say that when youre in labor, all those feelings go out the door. Just try not to worry about it, every women with a child whos had a regular delivery has had to go through it!

 

[AllieM]

This thread is giving me a good giggle! I'm pretty certain that if my hubby thought there was a chance in hell that I would agree to it, then he would wait outside altogether!

 

[CatherineK]

My husband is amazed by the whole process still...he's seen it all and will again. I think he pushed the doc out of the way to catch #2! Something magical about seeing your baby emerge, he tells me.

 

[Babyduo]

My husband loves "participating" as much as possible. I think it helps him bond sooner. He has cut the cord with all of them. Trust me, when it comes to that point you don't care WHO looks you just want the baby out. I would let your husband take the lead based on what he can handle. I don't know any men that will not dtd later because of delivery.

 

[USAF_WIFE]

My husband has seen both our babies come out and hes still after me constantly.. I think men and women get all freaked out before hand but a lot of the time it changes in there because I am sorry to be graphic but people are not focusing on how big your vagina gets rather then the babies head coming out and then totally on baby once pushed fully out. My hubby has cried both times and not a lot of guys will admit that... haha

 

[alicecooper]

I can't imagine being worried about my DH looking when I give birth. It isn't something I thought about at all during any of my pregnancies. He's not squeamish at all by nature for a start, so I know that's not an issue.

In terms of seeing me "differently" after witnessing me having given birth, it didn't happen at all.

Most men, if they are okay with the squeamishness factor, surely would look at birth in a much more medical/clinical kind of way than anything else.

Doctors, after all, have to deal with operations, peoples bodies being mangled up, and they even have to view death in a very emotionless kind of way, otherwise they would likely crack up. Yet they don't see people just as slabs of meat outside of their profession though. It is entirely possible to separate the two things in your mind.

Men aren't thinking about sex, or the sexual function of the vagina, when they are seeing it in a birthing state. It's not even a consideration. And it certainly doesn't mean that later, once the birth is all done and the mother is feeling back to herself again, that he would be turned off her. Well... a mature bloke wouldn't / shouldn't anyway!

I mean if you were in the room with your husband/boyfriend if he was having a penis / scrotum operation, would that put you off him sexually later on? Surely not.

 

[dizzy65]

when your in the moment, you dont really focus on that.. when i gave birth there were a whole team of doctors plus Dh there looking and i had a mirror in front of me so even i seen what was going on down there, yikes.. but honestly you dont really think about that kind of stuff when its all going down

 

[sweetavenue]

I told my husband he is to be right next to my head the entire time. If it were up to him, he'd be delivering the baby himself, lol, but I need him right next to me.

 

[Pielette]

I didn't want my DH at the business end and he really didn't want to see it either.

When it came to it, I couldn't care less, and he looked. I didn't say, 'yes you can look', I didn't say anything, but he wanted to see his son being born and he completely forgot his earlier squeamishness. Afterwards I found I really didn't mind that he had looked, and as you can see, he still found me sexually attractive after the experience

I think you'd really regret not having your oh there.

 

[R8ch]

OK so my husband and I obviously have a very different relationship to some people here I couldn't even imagine him not being there at the birth and I really don't have a problem about him looking/seeing anything (pooing and all). How else would I have known my little girl poked her head out blinked and blew bubbles, lmao. He's a grown man, he's seen my bits and fully aware that a baby has to come out of there. We've been together 14 years so we share (practically) everything together. As a previous poster said - I am also dual purpose and he still finds me very sexy!

Honestly, your other half won't (or shouldn't) care what you look like or sound like or what you do, when he sees the birth of your little one you won't give the labour a thought

On a side note, I was unable to give my daughter immediate skin to skin, so my hubby took baby and shared this precious bonding moment. No one else could have done this, nor would I have wanted them to.

Rx

 

[CordeliaJ]

I don't think the suggestion is that your DH wouldn't see you in a sexual way anymore, some couples just prefer to keep the magic.

My DH helped our cat give birth, and that is of course different, it's not his child etc, he has huge trouble putting that memory out of his head and I know he is a bit squeamish about it all. While some men may not be bothered in the slightest, you have to remember that there is barely a man in the world that's going to tell you if he is. Mine would definitely not tell me, and say it was amazing, even if for some reason it freaked him out.
You can't point blank say "you'll regret it" when every couple is different, and I know myself and my husband, and I know my feelings will not change during labour. If I could I wouldn't have anyone down that end frankly, and I'd have a cesarean if I could. To me, it's not the birth that needs to be seen, it's the baby. My friends with babies have all said similar things, so I think a lot of people feel like that.

 

[special_kala]

It's a shame that the wonder of birth seems to get lost a lot in our society.

It's not a means to a end. Labour and delivery is a amazing experience all on its own. My husband openly says some parts of labour he thinks were a bit gross (the pooing lol) but the overall experience he would never miss.

 

[nicksi27]

My OH will be there but to be honest im dreading it. He said himself he doesnt wanna be anywhere near the business end which is fine with me but its all the other stuff that im scared of. Im scared of getting off my face on G&A and making a show of myself or not being able to cope with the pain and screaming the place down ..... and dont get me started about the worry of s****ing myself in front of him lol! cringe!! On the other hand tho, im so excited to see his face when he sees our baby. i know hes gonna bawl his eyes out

 

[CordeliaJ]

I've heard a lot of women say that the labour is awful and they'd rather have had epidural/cesarean or no labour at all if that was an option! I don't think it's society, it's just preference. Some people are not that excited about birth, and more excited about the baby. I personally am dreading labour, the same way I don't particularly 'like' pregnancy. I will love the little wonder I get at the end, but that's the only thing that makes it worth it. Not everyone wants the full 'experience'.

 

[iwantabub]

If I was having a natural birth I'd have dh there but I'd make him stay up my end...

I don't think having him not in the room at all is an option tbh... How could u not want to see your child or hear your child scream and breathe for the first time?

I'm having an elective c section for medical reasons and by choice... I'm so excited to have dh there and tbh if I was going natural I wouldn't change that either

 

[pebbie1]

I didn't want other half down there either and he didn't want to look. But.....when it was all kicking off I opened my eyes and hubby was right next to the midwife. He was intrigued and he said he gained loads more respect for women for being so strong. So I didn't care and he's allowed to look with this one if he wants