Anyone else REALLY jealous and sad when friends announce they are pregnant? :(

[tverb84]

Today at the gym I felt jealous when I saw a woman who's pregnant. It's weird, I haven't felt like that in a while.

 

[babifever]

I think it's natural to have these feelings arise, it hits home. but you can't let them over take you. Jealously and envy are not good! Know everyone has their time! what's for you is yours. Get rid of those feelings, fast. You wouldn't want someone to be jealous of you.

 

[ariela]

Hi everyone

I haven't posted for a while as I have been waiting to get closer to the TTC time but recently our circumstances have not panned out the way we thought and we may have to wait another year before we TTC Although I kind of saw this coming, as we thought we would be financially better off at this point, it still came as a tal shock to me when we sat down and my husband quite bluntly said that we would have no chance of having a baby next year and may even be another year or more before we could afford for me to be on maternity leave. This affected me a lot more than I thought it would to the point where I am now on anti-depressants (for other reasons as well, but mainly this)! Now, all our friends seem to be breaking the happy news that they are pregnant, and it makes me even more sad does anyone else feel the same? 😓

Yes! It has become harder now when everyone around me seems to be pregnant and I'm still WTT maybe for 1-2 years. My dear childhood friend just broke the happy news a month ago, and that's when I felt I had no words. I try to keep casual conversation going, but deep inside feel so empty ... and yeah, jealous, which isn't typical for me at all..

My reason for waiting is financial situation as well, and saving is just so hard while studying... Raising second child can be even slightly more affordable, compared to the first, as you may have saved the clothes or equipments from your first baby, might have got new mommy friends who can borrow or sell you second-hand and some day-care centers etc. offer sibling discounts. So do not give up the hope!

Just try to concentrate on happy things in life and giving attention to your first one!

 

[Kiki1993]

I get jealous sometimes, especially when I see people who aren't as "together" having kids, like people who have never worked, who live at home, who are having there 4th kid at my age, been together for like a month before conception etc... I don't judge them for it but I wish I had that "nerve" like to jump into what I want rather than tick loads of boxes. It will be fine in the end Our time will come, doesn't help when people act like being jealous is a sin and that we are horrible for feeling it and we are being mean to the ones that are pregnant, it's actually normal to be jealous of someone who has something you desperately want.
Just remember our time will come and soon and when it does we will be glad we waited for whatever reasons!

 

[babifever]

I get jealous sometimes, especially when I see people who aren't as "together" having kids, like people who have never worked, who live at home, who are having there 4th kid at my age, been together for like a month before conception etc... I don't judge them for it but I wish I had that "nerve" like to jump into what I want rather than tick loads of boxes. It will be fine in the end Our time will come, doesn't help when people act like being jealous is a sin and that we are horrible for feeling it and we are being mean to the ones that are pregnant, it's actually normal to be jealous of someone who has something you desperately want.
Just remember our time will come and soon and when it does we will be glad we waited for whatever reasons!

personally my opinion is not that one is horrible, but feelings of jealously are not good to harbor.....period. It's just not healthy. Like you mentioned everyone's time will come

 

[babifever]

There's got to be another word to use when your feeling this way...

 

[Kiki1993]

There's got to be another word to use when your feeling this way...

Jealousy isn't a bad word, it's not like we are crazy jealous , a little jealousy isn't my idea as unhealthy, I think it is actually kinda normal. But if jealousy is all you feel then I think yeah it's unhealthy, I'm sure we are all healthy jealous, maybe a different word for it would stop the stigma, babyurge? When you feel the urge to have a baby when you see announcements etc?

 

[babifever]

There's got to be another word to use when your feeling this way...

Jealousy isn't a bad word, it's not like we are crazy jealous , a little jealousy isn't my idea as unhealthy, I think it is actually kinda normal. But if jealousy is all you feel then I think yeah it's unhealthy, I'm sure we are all healthy jealous, maybe a different word for it would stop the stigma, babyurge? When you feel the urge to have a baby when you see announcements etc?

babyurge, lol, sounds better. Yeah I know some form of jealously is natural. But read the def it gets intense: rivalry, envy, hatred, bitter, unhappy, etc.
to me it just sounded like the original post was pretty heartbroken. Jealously is found even in infants, so its most definitely common and natural. Just not to harbor and allow it to manifest into actions. But yeah I agree with what you wrote.

also it effects the other party as well, when others are not happy for them, because they want it.... I guess all things go multiple ways.

 

[babifever]

What about: desirous instead of jealous

 

[Kiki1993]

yeah definitely, when I get jealous I still feel happy for them, never been in a place where I haven't. Desirous sounds better ha, oh god, has anyone seen the children in need onesies in asda for babies, makes me broody seeing those, they are so darn cute!

 

[CSteele0084]

I have been WTC fro a very long time. 10+ years. I have always said I wanted to be married first. I know it's not a necessary prerequisite, but it would make me more comfortable if my relationship were secure in marriage. Anyway, I made the very blunt decision that 2015 would be my year. The BF and I just recently adopted a dog together as well as purchased our first home. His very close friends are both married and have children. His bestfriend and wife stole the name I mentioned I wanted to name my daughter. His brother's girlfriend became pregnant earlier this year and they stole our name for a boy. I was extremely upset and broke out into tears at the baby shower and had to leave. I want to be a mother and have a family so bad. Every pregnancy announcement becomes harder and harder to be excited about. I totally feel your pain. 2015 is my year!

 

[tverb84]

Today my mom told me my brother's girlfriends brother and his wife are having a baby. I felt a bit jealous and the strange thing is I went to grade school with her brother.

 

[Missy08]

A guy I work with, his wife is pregnant (34 weeks, I believe) and she just came in the office...def made me a little jealous

 

[KalonKiki]

I have been WTC fro a very long time. 10+ years. I have always said I wanted to be married first. I know it's not a necessary prerequisite, but it would make me more comfortable if my relationship were secure in marriage. Anyway, I made the very blunt decision that 2015 would be my year. The BF and I just recently adopted a dog together as well as purchased our first home. His very close friends are both married and have children. His bestfriend and wife stole the name I mentioned I wanted to name my daughter. His brother's girlfriend became pregnant earlier this year and they stole our name for a boy. I was extremely upset and broke out into tears at the baby shower and had to leave. I want to be a mother and have a family so bad. Every pregnancy announcement becomes harder and harder to be excited about. I totally feel your pain. 2015 is my year!

You should name your kids whatever you want, it shouldn't matter if someone else that you know "stole" it. If they make a fuss about it then remind them that it was your name first and they are the ones that stole it from you and they will likely shut up about it. This is why I never tell people names that I like until I'm pregnant and know what gender I'm having.

 

[LockandKey]

I was jealous as well at first, the entire month of September was nothing but pregnancy announcements for me, I have close to 10 friends on fb who are currently expecting, and 2 who just recently had their babies.

But I've got a long while to wait, so for now I sort of focus on my hobbies, things I will not be able to do if I were pregnant or had a newborn. I am very artistic and love to sketch and write, all that would be impeded if I were pregnant, mainly because I would lack the energy to do so as much as I would like, the same with having a newborn. For now, my love for my art and writing trump the want for being pregnant

 

[Quackquack99]

I must be the odd one but i never feel jealous especially if a close friend or family is pregnant, I am extremely happy for them and it just makes me excited for my future. I guess I remind myself why I am waiting.

 

[Mrs Rob]

I understand how you feel. When you see other people getting their turn it reminds you that it's not your turn yet. While you may be happy that your friend is happy is also causes that longing for it to be you.