Anyone else scared to have the "when" talk with OH?

[GettingBroody]

So after finally plucking up the courage to talk to OH, the outcome wasn't so great really. .*

He was on his computer (meh), and I just sat down next to him and said 'I was thinking about when my injection runs out', and the convocation went from there really. I tried to put across that I really did believe NTNP would be great (explaining all about it and the like..), and his reply basically was 'well we might as well use condoms', followed by 'its too soon to have a baby'. So. That's that then. He continued playing his game, I said NOTHING further and just walked away he probably didn't even notice I went back to the sofa.*

He'll most likely comment later 'Oh babe, whats up? your quiet', not realizing his majorly upset me, and i'll just fob it off by saying I'm tired. Meh.*

Aw, sorry to hear that hon You never know, when the time comes condoms might not seem like such an appealing option, especially if ye're used to not using them. We bought a box of condoms when I stopped bcp in Nov. What a waste of money - we never even opened the box!!!
Don't worry, you'll get there in the end... and in the meantime just try and stay positive (hard as that sounds) Sending you more Best of luck!

 

[Thistledown]

Aww, sorry to hear it didn't go well Olivette.

I know how much easier it is to try and talk to the OH when they're busy with something else, because their attention is divided and doesn't feel like the spotlight is pointed on us so much. But, in my experience, men don't divide their attention very well! If you want a man to realize that something really matters to you, you have to make sure they're only focusing on you when you talk to them (hard as that is!)

I find writing stuff down can help a lot. Either to have it to refer to while talking (it both lets me keep my thoughts straight AND gives me something else to look at from time to time when things feel too intense - I'm not great with eye contact!), or to just give it to the OH and say something along the lines of "We need to have a talk about this, but I'm just finding it very hard to get my thoughts out because it's very important to me. Please read this and tell me what you think".

 

[xclairx]

aAww Congrats hun thats fab news!! Good Luck TTC xx

 

[anniepie]

Just wanted to say that you guys have really inspired me to have 'the talk' with OH again...sometime in the next few weeks (but I'm already peeing my pants with nerves!). I want to pick the right time (like not when we're both shattered/about to go to bed etc- I've been there before with other discussions, and it's not a good approach!)

I'm new on here, looking for a bit of an outlet for my obsessions to have a baby! I'm 32, in a stable relationship, we both want kids...so I just don't understand why we can't just get on with it! I won't go on about it again here again...I've already written a novel in a post I started yesterday "sometimes it feels my life's on hold..."

Good luck to you all with the talking- strange how hard it can be to say these things to someone you love with all your heart...

 

[Thistledown]

Good luck with your talk anniepie!

 

[GettingBroody]

Just wanted to say that you guys have really inspired me to have 'the talk' with OH again...sometime in the next few weeks (but I'm already peeing my pants with nerves!). I want to pick the right time (like not when we're both shattered/about to go to bed etc- I've been there before with other discussions, and it's not a good approach!)

I found one of the best times for talking was when me and OH were out walking the dogs - we're both quite relaxed then and he can't get away from me, lol!! Best of luck, let us know how it goes!

 

[anniepie]

Just wanted to say that you guys have really inspired me to have 'the talk' with OH again...sometime in the next few weeks (but I'm already peeing my pants with nerves!). I want to pick the right time (like not when we're both shattered/about to go to bed etc- I've been there before with other discussions, and it's not a good approach!)

I found one of the best times for talking was when me and OH were out walking the dogs - we're both quite relaxed then and he can't get away from me, lol!! Best of luck, let us know how it goes!

Oooh, that's a good idea GettingBroody...though I'd have to go out and get some dogs first something we'd both be happy with...though not sure our 2 cats would be too happy (and they're both of our babies at the moment...yes, he even calls himself daddy to them...bless!)

But yes- relaxed is the way to go. Actually, we've both Monday off work...so maybe then!

xxx

 

[anniepie]

Hi guys!

I said I'd let you know how I got on with 'The Talk'! Monday was the perfect opportunity- we both had the day off work, and we'd planned a little outing. Lovely day. We don't really do valentines, but was nice to have been doing something on that day together anyway!

Anyway...I chickened out I didn't want to spoil the day, and I didn't want it to come across as it was happening all cos of the silly date!

BUT...I was having dinner with OH last night, and he'd been sorting out his finances during the day, seeing a financial adviser etc etc. He's feeling really motivated about getting himself in order for our future. And I nearly droped from a heart attack... he said "I want us to be parents soon". Anyway, we had a little talk about it. Still no time frame and stuff...but we're both on the same page, and that's what's the most important thing. We both think there's no "right time" and that we're probably in about the best situation right now. It also gave me an opportunity to say how I'm feeling, and that I've been nervous to talk with him about it as I've not known what he's thinking. We've always talked about having kids, and not leaving it too late...but this now feels somewhat more definite. And lays the foundations to have future discussions about it Feeling happy!

I'll let you know how talks progres...

 

[BlaireUK]

Hi guys!

I said I'd let you know how I got on with 'The Talk'! Monday was the perfect opportunity- we both had the day off work, and we'd planned a little outing. Lovely day. We don't really do valentines, but was nice to have been doing something on that day together anyway!

Anyway...I chickened out I didn't want to spoil the day, and I didn't want it to come across as it was happening all cos of the silly date!

BUT...I was having dinner with OH last night, and he'd been sorting out his finances during the day, seeing a financial adviser etc etc. He's feeling really motivated about getting himself in order for our future. And I nearly droped from a heart attack... he said "I want us to be parents soon". Anyway, we had a little talk about it. Still no time frame and stuff...but we're both on the same page, and that's what's the most important thing. We both think there's no "right time" and that we're probably in about the best situation right now. It also gave me an opportunity to say how I'm feeling, and that I've been nervous to talk with him about it as I've not known what he's thinking. We've always talked about having kids, and not leaving it too late...but this now feels somewhat more definite. And lays the foundations to have future discussions about it Feeling happy!

I'll let you know how talks progres...

Congrats, great news! Little bit at a time is a good way to go...

 

[Twag]

Congratulations Anniepie, I hope the talks progress well and you finally get a TTC date

 

[GettingBroody]

That's great Annie!! Glad it all went well!

 

[Thistledown]

Congrats anniepie!

 

[anniepie]

You guys are great :-D

 

[GettingBroody]

11dpo Thistledown! Bestof luck and lots of !!

 

[BlaireUK]

Yeh - good luck Thistledown... I hope you catch first time...

 

[Thistledown]

Aww, thanks guys. The 2WW may just drive me loony! Been peeing on things since 8DPO

 

[GettingBroody]

Thistledown, I just saw in another thread that you got your !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUGE congratulations!!!! What a happy ending to this thread!!

 

[Thistledown]

Thanks GettingBroody!

Now I just hope the little bean sticks!

 

[anniepie]

HUGE congrats Thistledown

Now, lots of baby glue to make the bean stick

x

 

[GettingBroody]

HUGE congrats Thistledown

Now, lots of baby glue to make the bean stick

x

Baby glue! I love it! We need a baby glue smiley!!