Anyone else testing today? Heres my story!

[SesshyGirl]

Its a sad one im sure we all can relate to.

So there i sit, my warm cheeks on the cold porcelain once again, eyes shifting around the room, careful not catch a glimps of the Stick sitting infront of me on the counter. Idlely my hands keeping busy and foot tapping anxiously. The alarm goes off! Its time to look! Will it finally happen this month? Will i have the best present for my entire family this Christmas? Will i finally stop having to guess about my fertility anymore after so many years? Is it truly possible, could i ACTUALLY be pregnant?!

Enough waiting! I wipe my head over and stare directly into a clear as day ! AGAIN! Shocks first washes over me. I was SO sure this was going to be MY MONTH, so many new things this cycle, we both the day before AND day after my O date, i fed my womb SO MANY hopeful thoughts and energy, i did everything right. Angry flashed for a second! THATS RIGHT! i DID do everything right! Doesnt that have to add up, count for something? Why am i STILL childless? But there the truth was, weightless in my hand yet heavy enough in my heart to crush it. Sadness crept in, and there it stayed. Sure, i can try again next month, whenever my AF decides to show her face again, but i feel my hope slipping.

 

[TTC First]

oh how you know my washroom so well. I have gone through this sooooooo many times.

I like when you said "careful not catch a glimps of the Stick sitting infront of me on the counter". lol I refuse to look till the time is up also. I leave the room so that there are no accidents.

When you said "i fed my womb SO MANY hopeful thoughts and energy". Sometimes I get a little negative about this whole process. DH says I have to say what I want. If I say that it's not going to work it won't. It's been two years, I don't believe him.

I am so sorry to hear your story because I know it so well. I wish you all the luck and hope we both get our BFP soon.