Anyone else TTC with teenagers?

[Laska5]

I'm 31 and have an 18 year old step son that lives with us full time. His mother is an awful manipulative B***** & I wish she was never apart of his life.

He resents us as parents, has no respect for us & makes our household a hell to live in. For years I have put off having a baby because of him. The environment would not be conducive to raising a child. Now that he is 18, we are SO SO close to kicking him out of the house, especially since I'm tired of waiting to have a child. The only reason he is staying home is because he is only a junior in high school & we want to see him succeed, get his high school diploma & then decide what to do from there (he is thinking about the military. Just imagine actually hating to be a parent! That is unfortunately how my husband feels at times right now towards his son. There literally has hardly been any joy the past 7 years that we've been married & have had He full time in our house- he's caused so much strife despite our love & support for him. It's sad but we have given him so much love, patience & support & he constantly chooses to hate us & treats us like we are the enemy! It's so hurtful to both of us & years of therapy has not helped.

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat with TTC with teens in the house. It makes it sooo stressful! I know we don't have any local friends to relate to, none of them understand.

 

[Wobbles]

A couple of replies have been deleted.

Sounds like your situation has been challenging, I'm sure many of us face this with our children if biological or step.

I hope someone can reply with some support or relate to your frustrations.

 

[MissB1979]

I'm sorry what you are going through Laska. I know it's so hard being a step-mom.

I have an 18 year old step-son, but thankfully he's a good kid. He is actually excited that we are trying to have a baby. His mom has two other sons by two different men, so my step-son wants a sibling that has his last name.

It hasn't always been good. His mom is a horrible person and for the longest time would not let him come stay with us, even just over night. She filled his head with so many lies about us and my husband's family. He always believed those lies until he turned 16. He then started to see the kind of person she truly is and decided to come live with us.

He's not the greatest person to live with because he's very messy and won't do anything around the house unless he gets something in return (his mom taught him that!) but he is very kind and does well in school. He just joined the Marines and will be leaving in a few months.

That being said, I hope things turn around for you. Sometimes it just takes a while and it just takes time for him to grow up and mature enough to see how things really are. Sometimes, unfortunately, it never changes, but sometimes it just takes them getting out of the house and out on their own to change their ways. I hope the best for you! Good luck!

 

[Laska5]

Thanks Missy!

Sounds like we've been through some of the same thing!
My step-son even though he has lived with his dad since he was 10 was completedly manipulated & blindsided by his borderline personality mother who made up lies about us (still does). For years we were the enemy because we moved him away from his mom (more for his protection than anything!) For years we fought with him about why he didn't want to live with his mom- finally at 15, we let him go live with her! It lasted 2 weeks, they ended up in a homeless shelter & in a physical confrontation that landed my stepson in a psychiatric facility for teenagers! Since then he hasn't said a thing about wanting to go live with his mom - for about 2 years after that He was a good kid- not great, but his attitude & behavior changed & we were starting to enjoy doing things together more! The past 6 months, he's changed again for the negative. I think a lot of the freedom that we have been giving him has gone to his head, so we are trying to change some of that quickly!!!

My husband wants a baby sooo badly (a lot more than I really do). I just want peace in my household first then a baby! But we're TTC & letting it rest in Gods hands. I am ready for Him to be out on his own for awhile so he gets a reality check of what life is reallyl like!

 

[Ariannda]

Personally I think you should edit this postand takeout much of the personal information...

That being said my DH and i started TTC over 3 years ago, my oldest at the time was 15 and i was also in the middle of a custody battle with my exh even though we've been divorced10 years, thats a whole other story. My oldest ended up going to live with her dad for awhile but saw the light there

I am currently pregnant, i am due in Nov and DD will turn 18 in December, she's also a Junior. She is not pleased with the fact Im pregnant, however it's none of her business. she's sure she's moving out as soon as she graduates, despite my DH and i suggesting she stay home for a year, work and save money. My youngest turns 7 next week and my oldest is 17 . Having teenagers is hard, but i am a firm believer that no one, NO ONE is allowed to dictate your life for you