Anyone else's mother driving them crazy?

[pradabooties]

Sorry in advance for the rant but I don't know any other pregnant ladies and I really need to vent this!

So a bit of background - my fiancé and I have been staying with my Mother for about 3 months now. Partially so I'd have someone to keep me company in the evenings because my fiancé works nights and also because her rent is very high so it's helpful for her that we stay and pay her a weekly board amount. It was always just a short term thing so now we are house hunting for our own place again.

My mum and I have a very close relationship but these past few weeks she is driving me CRAZY! I think it is quite a lot due to my hormones (now 31 weeks) but I work from home so I spend the whole week basically alone from 8am to 6pm then she comes home and we chat / have dinner for a couple of hours then she tends to go to bed before my fiancé comes home around 11pm. I think due to my hormones I've been getting quite depressed and anxious being home all day every day by myself. I just get worried and stressed about everything. Then I find it very hard to perk up and be in a chatty mood when my mother gets home and basically if I'm not in a great mood I feel like she gets annoyed that I'm moody. She also obviously sees it as a reason for her to also get stressed out which in turn makes me feel WAY more anxious.

On top of that she's just impossible to please. She's always telling me to put my feet up and rest / if my fiancé so much as goes to the bathroom before cleaning up after I've made dinner she asks why he isn't helping and gets all judgemental towards him. But the rest of the time she points out any household thing she thinks I do wrong and gets cold and shuts me off if for example I sleep in and when I get up she's cleaning.

Basically every day she nags me about everything... She wants me to exercise more, she doesn't like the way I clean the kitchen, I need to write a weekly schedule because I need to be achieving more, my fiancé isn't helpful or caring enough in her eyes etc etc

My fiancé can basically do no right in her eyes and she is constantly nagging me about him and although she's pleasant enough to him she's definitely not in the least bit warm. I've been with him for over 7 years so it's pretty much only since we moved in shes been like this to him. I know it all comes from her feeling protective of me but I'm on my last nerve and just want to tell her to back off! Is anyone else feeling this way about their parents?

Up until these past few weeks she's been great and really supportive and positive but I think now the nagging is just wearing me down and it's too much. She's taking a month off work after bub arrives to help out which I was happy about but now I'm worried that she's going to be judgemental and try to interfere with our first weeks as parents

Ps. My fiancé lost his mother when he was young so please don't think I am taking my mum for granted or anything like that, I just really needed to vent before I explode!

 

[CoralInGold]

Ah, I really feel for you, it's so diffcult living back with parents as an adult yourself, let alone a hormonal pregnant one. I couldn't imagine living with my mum & being pregnant, I love her to bits but we clash way too much & my situation was very much like yours when I breifly moved back in with her a couple of years ago until I found my feet again. Never knew if I was coming or going with her & feeling as though I couldn't be feeling low myself as she might take it the wrong way. so your way xx

All I can say is, hang on in there, it won't always be like this, & I really hope the time she takes off helps you both as parents & doesn't cause any issues. Try & think of the positives, it will be nice to have somewhere there to take baby off you both while you both catch up on some sleep xx

 

[pradabooties]

Ah, I really feel for you, it's so diffcult living back with parents as an adult yourself, let alone a hormonal pregnant one. I couldn't imagine living with my mum & being pregnant, I love her to bits but we clash way too much & my situation was very much like yours when I breifly moved back in with her a couple of years ago until I found my feet again. Never knew if I was coming or going with her & feeling as though I couldn't be feeling low myself as she might take it the wrong way. so your way xx

All I can say is, hang on in there, it won't always be like this, & I really hope the time she takes off helps you both as parents & doesn't cause any issues. Try & think of the positives, it will be nice to have somewhere there to take baby off you both while you both catch up on some sleep xx

Thank you so much for your reply - it feels so nice hearing someone understands! I'm the first of my group of friends to have a baby so no one understands what it's like to be pregnant and they also aren't as close with their mum so they don't really get why this kind of thing upsets me so much - they'd just tell their mum's to back off / they'd avoid them but when you're close with your mum you can't just do that! I do think you're right and it'll be nice having her there afterwards - it's just so hard with all these hormones and my own worries! xx

 

[CoralInGold]

I imagine it is! Pregnancy is tough enough without having to worry about how your mum is feeling too. Are there any groups you could go to in the week to stop you feeling so low when you're on your own all day? Over here we have groups where expectant mothers can meet up & have coffee & cake & just generally talk about how they're feeling, it really helps when some one can relate as it must be diffuclt being the first of your friends to have a baby & not being able to go to them for advice.

Nice to meet you anyway, I'm always here to chat, but can't promise I'll reply as fast in the next couple of weeks when this little one makes their appearance xx

 

[pradabooties]

I imagine it is! Pregnancy is tough enough without having to worry about how your mum is feeling too. Are there any groups you could go to in the week to stop you feeling so low when you're on your own all day? Over here we have groups where expectant mothers can meet up & have coffee & cake & just generally talk about how they're feeling, it really helps when some one can relate as it must be diffuclt being the first of your friends to have a baby & not being able to go to them for advice.

Nice to meet you anyway, I'm always here to chat, but can't promise I'll reply as fast in the next couple of weeks when this little one makes their appearance xx

I haven't come across any groups like that but I'll have a better look because I think that would really help! Thanks so much again that's so exciting your bub is due so soon! All the best and enjoy this special time xxx