Anyone else's OH disappointed about gender?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Sar55, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. Sar55

    Sar55 Well-Known Member

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    Well, we went for a gender scan this morning and although we'd both been convinced that we were having a boy, turns out it's about 80% that we're having a girl. I'm quite happy with this as everything on the scan looked ok, and as long as baby is healthy then I'm happy. OH on the other hand is really disappointed as he had his heart set on having a boy, I feel like I can't get excited now as he's just not going to be interested. I'm probably being over sensitive and am hoping that he'll come round to the idea as I'm sure once she's here she'll be daddy's little princess but I just want to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible and get excited about it together. Anyone else in the same boat???
    xx
     
  2. SPN1304

    SPN1304 new mummy to baby boy :-)

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    :hugs: Try not to worry its prob just a little bit of a shock if you have both been sure LO was a boy. I bet he will soon be uber excited again!! All Daddys love their little princesses!!
     
  3. theresarhuebb

    theresarhuebb x mother of 3 x

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    yup my partner did. only we dont know what were having. i was quite happy that the baby was fine and he made the rest of my day feel like crap! on the other hand though we're going to go for a private scan to see if baby will show us the sex! hes hoping for a boy and so am i but if its a girl hell be gutted but i think hell still be as happy i hope! x
     
  4. RebeccaR19

    RebeccaR19 Well-Known Member

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    I won't find out the gender until Feb 17th and that's if the baby cooperates, but my husband is set on having a boy. I'm not even allowed to DISCUSS the possibility of having a girl with him. He doesn't want to talk about it. I know that, if it turns out we're having a girl, I will have to be alone in my excitement because I know he'll be upset.

    But...on the positive side, I know a couple who are friends of mine and the guy wanted a boy that he wouldn't speak to anyone the day they found out they were expecting a girl. He was actually upset about it up until the day the baby came, but when he held her in his arms, she melted his heart..and everything changed. Good luck and I hope your husband can come to terms with it and you both can be happy.
     
  5. xtinydancerx

    xtinydancerx Well-Known Member

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    My DH was the same way, he wanted a boy so badly, he already has a 2 year old girl for a previous relationship. When we found out it was a girl he was still happy but you could tell he wanted that boy. He's been great though, talking to her, putting his hands on my tummy every day, I know he wanted a boy but I also know once he holds her for the first time he will fall completely in love with her and that gender disappointment won't even matter.
     
  6. kanga

    kanga Mummy Wummy

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    I badly wanted a girl and its a boy (which dh wanted). So I know how your oh is feeling. Give him a few weeks and kepe talking about it and he will get used to the idea. certainly when she arrives he will forget all about the boy-thing!

    Have you gone shopping for baby stuff yet? I found it helps to go looking round the shops x
     
  7. laila 44

    laila 44 Well-Known Member

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    Ohhhh that's so sad...I really hope for you guys that your significant others will share in your joys regardless of sex.
     
  8. Lauraaraa

    Lauraaraa Love My Baby Girl

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    my bf was th same

    when i found out i am having a girl i was really happy! like mega happy!

    told him and he was like 'there must be some sort of mistake' and has since said to ppl of course he wanted a boy! said it to some friends th other week in front of me!! i just said oh nice!
    i was a bit angry. as i thought he wud of just been happy that she was healthy!

    but i just dont bother now as i am happy - my mam is, and to me thats all that matters.

    my lil sweetie!!
     
  9. mommytoTandE

    mommytoTandE Mother of 3 & 1 angel

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    I am sure it is just the shock. I have a son and a daughter and the bond between my daughter is amazing. I can't imagine them being any closer. I am sure the idea will sink in and he won't be able to even imagine her being a boy!!!
     
  10. lisaf

    lisaf Super tired new mom

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    Feeling a little disappointment is normal when you had expectations or hopes for one sex over the other.
    I dealt with a little disappointment myself when I found out the sex of our baby. This did not mean I didn't love my baby or wasn't grateful that he was healthy etc. Its just a normal reaction when you get your hopes set too strongly one way. It took me a day but now I'm just as excited that its a little boy.
    Give your DH some time... talk up the positive aspects of it being a girl and let him feel the way he needs to for now without making him feel bad. If he thinks he won't get to do any sports or stuff, point out that she may be a tomboy etc.

    Try not to let his feelings affect yours... hard, but he's dealing with the loss of some dreams he had, not upset about your baby. Its hard to explain but its really not about this baby and whether he'll love her or not. Its about his dreams/fantasies about his 'son' and not having that son right now.
     
  11. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    He will get to used to it soon enough and if he doesnt then hes a bit sad really
     
  12. mummy2lola

    mummy2lola Mum to 2 trying for 3

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    I think for men they always want there first to be at a boy at the start as they can relate to them more and do boy things,my dh is hoping for a boy and for him I'm leaning towards wanting a boy but I will b thrilled with either as long as baby is ok that's all that matters xx
     
  13. Lucky777

    Lucky777 Mommy of 1 little boy

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    my oh and i didn't really care what we were having as long as our baby stays healthy and we do not miscarry again.
     
  14. Szaffi

    Szaffi Well-Known Member

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    My hubby was also a bit disappointed. We already have a daughter and we agreed that this LO is our last baby. As she's also a girl, I think he feels a bit disappointed for not having a son (tbh, I also share a bit this, though it's more like an - oh, well). But he was a trooper about it - started to joke immediately. His family has been a total a-holes about it, telling us how two girls are horrible, how there are already too many girls, blablabla. I felt horrid about that, but OH told me not to worry.

    I know he'll love this little one no matter what, especially once she's born. Luckily also, our daughter has started to be a real daddy's girl in the last couple of days, always giving hugs to OH, crying when he leaves in the morning and generally fussing about him. I think that made him feel much better about girls.
     
  15. ChloeBaybee

    ChloeBaybee Unbelievably Pregnant...

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    Aww I can't wait to find out what I'm having my OH really wants a girl (prob cos he already has a son) and won't even acknowledge it could be a boy! He's a right mardy ass at best of times so no idea what he'll be like if it just so happens to be a boy! Its a shame that people have gender disappointment but you cant help how ya feel i suppose :/ as long as baby is healthy I'm happy. xx
     
  16. chippysgirl23

    chippysgirl23 Well-Known Member

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    this is too funny, but we had our scan and my bf said he doesnt want to find out cuz he already knows its a boy... but i wanted to find out, so I did.... lol because im really happy he thinks its a girl and he says if it is a girl hes gonna take the snip snip lol.... i really wanted a girl but its a boy and iam overjoyed.... poor him
     
  17. Rosalie

    Rosalie Well-Known Member

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  18. shazmos

    shazmos 2 sons, 1 on the way!

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    Im really glad this thread was posted. I have 2 sons from a previous relationship and my OH (who has no children) was desperate for a girl. Nothing to do with having 2 step sons he just always wanted a daughter. If fact he told me so on our first date. I on the other hand really wanted another boy (you would have thought it would have been the other way round, wouldn't you?).

    Anyway he was convinced we were having a girl and couldnt even accept that there is a chance its a boy. Well, well, well. We had our gender scan yesterday and it is VERY MUCH a boy.

    He told me he wasn't disapointed but i could tell he was deep down. We will not have anymore children as 3 is more than enough to keep us busy.

    I think he is coming round to the idea of how cool it would be to have a son but yeh, he is not jumping for joy as i expect he would be had we been told it was a pink one.

    xxx
     
  19. blondebabe

    blondebabe Well-Known Member

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    aww! well i posted a simular post when my OH and i found out we were having a boy. i really wanted a girl. my OH was really happy (even tho he said he would have been equally as happy if baby was a girl) i jus cryed all the way home from the hospital...it must be awful for you cuz its like a anti-climax! i am actually now really looking forward to a boy it didnt take long to get used to the idea. jus give him time i'm sure he will be ok soon! its normal for any parent to have their heart set on one or the other :) xx
     
  20. Kellyx

    Kellyx Well-Known Member

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    I think it's just a male thing!
     

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