Anyone else's OH make them feel fat?

[nikkibr]

well my OH is literally commenting on EVERYTHING i eat. and when i say everything i MEAN everything!! i am eating way more then i didnt before i was pregnant and i dont think i look like i have put on that much weight in other areas. but im so sick of at least 6 comments everyday about what i eat. i have had a couple of hot cross buns today as snacks and i even tried to eat one when i thought he was upstairs so that he couldnt see me and make a comment but he caught me and says in a really patronising way, "ohhh just had to have a little snack did we" an y.day i was hungry so i make myself a bit of a fruit salad, i had one bannana, one apple, one kiwi and one orange and poured some cherry yoghurt over it and he was like "oh my god are you eating all of that as a snack" i was like yeah it's just fruit and he was like "well yeah but surely thats just what you would eat for lunch not a snack isnt it!!" and i was like arghhh its just fruit your meant to have 5 a day what is the big deal. and he keeps calling me names like blubber and hammy hamster and he says he's only joking but i've ALWAYS been concious of my wieght and he knows that. i just can't understand why he's being like this - i keep saying to him that he realy knows how to make me feel self concsious and he just says oh im just joking! but he cant understand that i dont find it funny and its really starting to upset me. but its got so bad that im starting to say things before he does, we wathc madagasca earlier and the hippo was on dancing and the zoomed in on her bum, and i had to make a comment that yes i realise thats like me just to stop him from doing it first and everytime i eat i have to say - dont tell me off im just hungry. i know it shouldnt be like this and i dont know why he thinks he can do this to me - he doesnt know what its like to be pregnant - i just dont know how ill cope if it continues after ihave the baby because at first it was just comments about my belly gettin big and now its comments about everthing like my bum being massive and stuff....does any one else's OH do this?? xx

 

[Bee26]

I'd punch my OH if he went OTT about it. I've put on 4 stone and feel disgusting and my OH said he noticed I put on weight but that I'm pregnant and that's what happens. He says he will help me lose it after but I can't help feel that he looks at me and thinks "oh my god, what a heffer". I think it's harsh for your OH to be so mocking about it as it's something us girls struggle with at the best of times, let alone when we are pregnant. Next time he does it proper let rip at him, like really shock him....he won't do it again in a hurry. Hugs x x

 

[CocoaOne]

Sorry- but what an arse!

I'd go mental if my OH said anything like that. He buys me sweets and stuff all the time and is constantly saying that he doesn't think I'm that big for how far gone I am (even though I've put on 3 stone!)

I'm sure your OH isn't saying it to be mean, but you definitely need to stop him or you'll depress yourself which isn't good. Try saying something that'll dent his confidence everytime he does it to you- I'm sure he'll soon realise how upsetting it is!

 

[mrsthomas623]

Oh no, that would not fly in my house. The words I would use are not appropriate for this forum. I wish I would snack on fruit, my snacks are super sugary these days haha

 

[Elle Number 4]

That sounds really really really horrible. What a terrible environment. Personally, I couldn't (and wouldn't) cope with that AT ALL. I would either be constantly upset or furiously angry.
The very last thing you need to concern yourself with is your weight. It is vital that you gain weight in order to create a healthy baby.

Will you allow him to talk to his daughter like this when she is older?

 

[Parkep]

im butting in but, i would be having a few words with OH and they wouldn't be very nice or quiet. My OH never says anything about what i eat, my god you were eating a fruit salad with YOGURT! Who cares how much you are eating its freaking healthy and your pregnant! My OH dare wouldn't comment on things i eat before i was pregnant never mind when i am pregnant. I would be talking to him hun and dont let him get away with "i was joking ect" its not nice we have enough to deal with, with our changing bodies and hormones.

 

[KamKol]

My DH makes comments about how I've put on weight all over my body (I've put on 3 stones) but immediately afterwards says that he's sure I'll lose it all once baby is born. He does comment on the fatty foods I eat sometimes, but doesn't disencourage me eating. He calls me "fatty" sometimes but he says he's only joking and he hasn't really made me feel bad about myself. I know I've put on a lot of weight, and DH doesn't patronise me about it...just makes the odd comment about how hard it's gona be to lose and how I'd have to go on a strict diet etc.

If I were you, I'd sit down and talk to your OH and explain how he's making you feel. He is making you feel guilty about eating and he needs to understand that a pregnant woman's body works differently. Also, emotions will be flying all over the place, so try and talk things through calmly without overreacting. I'm sure your OH doesn't mean to hurt you and isn't realising how his words are affecting you.

 

[Lauraxamy]

I'd tell him to get lost but no seriously talk to him and tell him how you feel when he says these things, he's meant to make you feel good about yourself not comment on what you're eating and making you feel fat. I always call myself fat and the OH always tells me I'm not I'm pregnant and I don't look it blah blah and even though I don't believe him he's trying to keep me positive that's what the OHs job is, to be there for you and keep you going not put you down. You're meant to eat more when you're pregnant, I know I'm hungry all the time! It's because you're pregnant and growing a baby it's normal and when the baby is born you'll soon be back to normal and I'm sure you look great anyway.

 

[fluffpuffin]

oh no - you poor thing. being pregnant is hard at the best of times with all the weight gain. guys sometimes don't realise how self-conscious that can make us feel. personally I would not stand for it, but then my hubby's been really sweet about me being pregnant & always complements my body now - I wouldbe so upset if he said those kind of things to me that yours says to you.. big hugs. xxx

 

[Tashry]

That's terrible! I'm sorry he is giving you such a hard time. If my OH was serious when he said things about my weight or my eating habits I would have some harsh words for him. We both joke around about my weight, but it's just that - a joke. I refuse to let my weight concern me (which is easier this time than last time because this time I have not gained much). The most important thing is that I have a healthy baby - I can always lose the weight later (which I did after my first - all 50 pounds of it.)

 

[ModernMillie]

What on earth? That is not appropriate – whether cloaked in “joking” or not. I would not tolerate my husband calling me names or commenting on my eating. That is extremely disrespectful to both the person, and the season of pregnancy. I would give a guy an earful if I heard him talking like that about any pregnant woman.

 

[cb1]

I agree with everyone's comments here - it's out of order for him to make those kind of comments to you. He doesn't know what it's like to be pg, you need to eat more and it sounds like you're making far better choices with your snacks than I am

I've not had any comments from my DH about what I'm eating, but I was eating a granola bar at work the other day when one of my colleagues said "wow, is that just a snack bar, it's huge!" I was so taken aback by it I didn't know what to say

 

[KittenKat]

I know I am a little touchy about my weight but that stems from past issues in a failed marriage but my dear OH doesn't care a jot about what I weigh. There are the occasional joking comment but is actually done in a way where you can tell its a joke, had one last night while he was rubbing my back and tapped my backside and it wobbled *shudder* I commented on how it was horrible and he just told me "don't worry mine does it too and I don't even have the excuse of being preggers"

My ex on the other hand could be quite mean about weight issues which coming from someone who weighted between 18-22 stone was pure meanness seeing as I was a size 10-12 and had born him a child. But after we split I did manage to get a little bit of my own back, while on a night out with current OH he was in the same place and made a stupid comment about the size of my boobs (I'm not top heavy lol) and somehow I managed to shoot back "Oh you are just jealous because yours are bigger than mine" He shut his mouth pretty darn quick once he learnt his ex wife had grown a pair bigger than his


Oh and sorry for the ramble I have been up a while but still not functioning on full capacity yet hehehe

 

[1st_timer]

I would be furious if my DH even looked at me like he thought I was eating too much! I was a little over weight to start with and have put on 2 stone during this pregnancy - as I'm short it makes me look like a whale...

If my DH made such comments he would find himself locked out of the house - as the others say at least you eat healthy stuff - if I snack it's on chocolate constantly...

I honestly don't know how you put up with it. It could be worse - one lady in my NCT group has put on a reasonable amount of weight and weighed nearly 15 stone and was told by her DH if she reached 15 stone they were headed for divorce...he also did weekly measurements to see how big her boobs, stomache, arse etc had got...

Honestly men can be such w***as.

Dont let it get to you hon - you'll be able to lose it once you've had the baby no problem

Big hugs

xxx

 

[terridee69]

My OH makes comments but they are not mean't to hurt me. The other day I said that I was big, fat and Ugly and he replied.... Your not ugly babe!!! So I said but I am big and fat then.... he said yeah but only cause your pregnant.

If I say to him that I'm hungry or I fancy something to eat he always encourages me to do it, which is not a good thing as I have GD and have to really watch what I'm eating.

So far I have gained 22lb, and was only putting weight on my bump.... But this last week I have started to swell, my ankles, calfs and hands . OH makes comments on it but more in a sympathetic way than an insulting way..

Like someone else said, if I was you, I would find an insult to come back at him with any time he says anything.....

BIG

 

[nikkibr]

thanks for all your replies girls. i mean i know he does genuinely think he's joking but what hurts the most is he KNOWS how consious i am about my weight. i've told him that i will loose it all after having the baby and he just says things like yeah yeah! no encouragement. i only have 4 weeks left so i'm just going to enjoy them and enjoy what im eating i've told him that what he says won't stop me eating what i want. (just to clarify i do eat ALOT of chocolate aswell which i never used to eat). next time he does say something i will go mad i promise. beucase its just so annoying and why should i have to try and hide what i eat in my own home just to stop him saying something to me!! grr bloody men hey!! xxx

 

[1st_timer]

Maybe you should tell him he looks like he's put on a bit of weight too (even if he hasn't)..tell him that most men put on a stone while their OHs are pregnant...if he says he hasn't just say oh well you must just be letting yourself go a little bit...then say Only Joking honey
xx

 

[gnomette]

you may just need to say to him he needs to stop the "jokes" cause hes the only one finding them funny an tell him that its hurting your feelings!!
if it was my hubby i would have gone nuts the first time it was said! somtimes men jus dont get it an dont understand that this sort of thing does get to us! my (male) friend called my fatty an i jus took one look at him said to him look whos talking i'm pregnant whats your excuse? an tried to shrug it off but he never did it again xxx
i hope things get better with your oh get better xx

 

[kitabird]

He's being really insensitive, but he probably doesn't realise how much it's upsetting you. My OH has made the odd jokey comment which resulted in me almost bursting into tears, so he doesn't anymore! Hormones It sounds like you're eating fine and going for things that are good for you most of the time, so don't worry about it. I'd probably give him a slap though

 

[Minstermind]

i would be furious if my dh even looked at me like he thought i was eating too much! I was a little over weight to start with and have put on 2 stone during this pregnancy - as i'm short it makes me look like a whale...

If my dh made such comments he would find himself locked out of the house - as the others say at least you eat healthy stuff - if i snack it's on chocolate constantly...

i honestly don't know how you put up with it. It could be worse - one lady in my nct group has put on a reasonable amount of weight and weighed nearly 15 stone and was told by her dh if she reached 15 stone they were headed for divorce...he also did weekly measurements to see how big her boobs, stomache, arse etc had got...

honestly men can be such w***as.

Dont let it get to you hon - you'll be able to lose it once you've had the baby no problem

big hugs

xxx

oh. My. God.!!!!!!!