Anyone ever wish they hadn't told people they are TTC?

[Peanut78]

When we first started TTC I was so excited I told a number of friends and family. As the months have passed (now at TTC cycle eight) I find some conversations become awkward - they are wondering if we are having problems and don't really know what to say (not many of my friends have TTC or been pg - and as with me before I started TTC - don't realise it wouldn't necessarily happen immediatly!). One friend even cautiously asked me if we are still TTC.... I then tend to get defensive and start belting out stats on how it can take up to 1 year and still be considered "normal", and the female fertile period every month is actually so short etc. (at which point my sister called me "spermzilla" for all my knowledge on TTC lol)
I kinda wish I had kept our decision to TTC to ourselves as I actually feel more pressure..... Any thoughts on this....?

 

[JayleighAnn]

Yes Yes I do, I did the same, got excited and told people, not 3months later...people are asking questions...mostly my mum!

 

[Kitten]

We're not telling anyone
a) because we don't want to jinx it
b) because we don't care for their opinions

I know full well if I told the parents we were TTC we'd get 101 lectures and discussions and talks blah blah no thanks.

 

[Debbie82]

We haven't told a soul.

Didn't want the added pressure of family and friends asking when is it happening, why hasn't it happened so far, do we think we will ever be able to have kids etc etc

We have provisionally booked our wedding next yr and even now people are talking about us having a baby straight, little do they know it has been 4 mnths and nothing.

If I don't fall pg before the wedding and it happens then I am gonna tell people we are enjoying married life before thinking of having kids, just couldn't bare the pressure and family thinking we were some sort of failures cos it had been all so easy for them...

 

[Coffee]

I can never work out which is the lesser of two evils...
We didn't tell anyone other than a couple of close friends. Now it's been so long ttc those close friends are very awkward around the topic and keep saying stupid things like "relax"!
On the other hand, i was with a whole bunch of people at the weekend who don't know and there was only one topic of conversation - "hey, when are you guys going to have a little bambino"?! Arrrgghhhhh!! Obviously it's not their fault as they don't know, but i was saying the usual crap "oh not now, but i do want kids in the future". The outspoken ones were asking "why not now? what's wrong with trying now" and i was awkwardly making up excuses about wanting to concentrate on my career, all the while thinking "of course i want a bl**dy baby and you going on about it is HURTING me!!!".
So, i'm not sure which is the worst really?!

 

[jaytee]

Everyone at my local church (the only people I see besides co-workers) know that DH and I are TTC. After a few month they started asking questions like : Did DH go get checked" "how many times are you baby dancing" etc....It was painful so after six cycles I told everyone we were going to wait to try but in reality we kept trying for three more month...until now....Sunday I go on BCP and we are going to try next year for a baby

 

[Millerette]

I told some family and now 6 months later i am feeling the pressure!

 

[Saxogirl]

We have only told one person,

My best friend who currently has a beautiful 5 month old little boy, didn't want any family etc to know as they will all have opinions on everything from bd'ing positions and baby names to finance etc etc etc (am sure the mother in law would already have started knitting!)

As I also had a miscarriage at about 6-7 weeks 4 years ago (that was a surprise pg) OH and I have decided to try and keep a BFP to ourselves for the first little while as well (not entirely sure that will happen though as I don't think there is enough will power in the world haha!)

It is very hard though keeping tcc quiet - thank god for BNB!!!

 

[amslou]

Yeah i got excited started going on about it but didnt realise, now DH mum keeps going on about it - i say i need to go to the loo again and she says are you pregnant she does it if i look tired and if i say i need to tell her something. its getting a bit anoying think i am gonna tell people we decided not to bother soon.

 

[hayz1981]

I regret telling people. I told my mum and sister and they're great. They never mention it unless I do and are both just chilled about it.

But I've told a couple of close friends and wish I hadnt. I just get questions every time we meet up. Like, 'so, any news yet?' or, 'oh you're not drinking tonight, any special reason for that?' *nudge nudge, laugh*.
It just upsets me now as I think, if I was pregnant, believe me, they would know. And saying, no, not yet just makes me feel like I'm failing, whereas when no one says anything, I can quite happily just carry on TTC.

Anyway, I wont be telling anyone else until that appears. Please let it be soon...

 

[Peanut78]

Just got this e-mail from a friend....

"Will you please let me know when you get pregnant and not do the whole waiting thing, you havent said anything since before summer. What news on the egg and sperm front?"

aaaarrrrggghhh - so wish I hadn't said anything....

 

[Mrs R]

We haven't told anybody apart from the doctor, and that was bad enough! lol

We seem to have some problems ttc that we need to get sorted so it might take some time before we get a bfp.

I get asked everyday in life about when we are going to have a baby, and we have to brush it off, laugh, say not yet, when I get a better job, bigger house etc etc. I now have a long list of excuses! But it is heartbreaking everytime I have to lie about it, especially to my family.

 

[Puddleduck]

Me me me, I wish we hadnt told people cause after 2 years TTC I feel like a failure !! Everyone keeps asking if 'there is any news yet' and it's additional pressure you just dont need as it's stressful enough for the both of you. I think it's best to keep it to yourselves.

Good luck

 

[Kimberly28]

And this is why we haven't told a soul! Well other than the dr of course! But other than that, ya no one knows. Thank God! We didn't want all the pressure and questions/nagging and lectures etc etc. Especially because my mother has a way of finding out things and doesn't know how to mind her own business and loves to try to be controlling and manipulative of others' decisions and lives and such. Not something I need at this time as addition stress is harmful to my being able to O'. I'm not even going to tell them when I get my BFP. I'm going to wait at least 8 weeks maybe even 12. (if I can last that long!) Besides there is a certain intimacy in keeping it private between you and your OH.(or at least there is with us) I find it to be a great bonding tool as its something that is meant to be private between the two of us anyways.

to all!!

 

[Stephanie]

We have told all the family that we are TTC and every day we get.
'What do you want boy or girl? '
'you do not want to get pregnant now as it wil be a summer baby and that is uncomfortable for you to carry then.'

It is driving me crazy. they all know about my op and other problems with my womb and are all behind us 100% but wish we did not say anthing now.

I had lunch with my mum and sister at the weekend and my sister said
'I bet you cannot get you better adopt'

Wow that really upset me
But I will go on a keep trying after all it is only my first month TTC.

 

[Peanut78]

We have told all the family that we are TTC and every day we get.
'What do you want boy or girl? '
'you do not want to get pregnant now as it wil be a summer baby and that is uncomfortable for you to carry then.'

It is driving me crazy. they all know about my op and other problems with my womb and are all behind us 100% but wish we did not say anthing now.

I had lunch with my mum and sister at the weekend and my sister said
'I bet you cannot get you better adopt'

Wow that really upset me
But I will go on a keep trying after all it is only my first month TTC.

I am really sorry your sister said that to you, not exactly the kind of support you need now.

But here's to a speedy for you

 

[hayley352]

yep definately regret telling people, i get asked allsorts now, when are u due? have u had a positive OPK? etc etc really wish we had kept it quiet!!!!

 

[heavenly]

Me and OH completely agreed not to tell anyone. I am fully aware at my age (42), it might never happen or it might take ages. Can't see the point telling people, only to be asked regularly if its happened...then after a few months...you sense the awkwardness of people not wanting to ask. Takes the pressure off that no-one knows.

 

[lisalove]

My sister ttc when she was 40 it was her 3rd, so when she was struggling she just thought it wouldnt happen. It did though, and she had her DD when she was 41... so fingers crossed for you

 

[heavenly]

Thanks Lisa.