Anyone feel left out?

[aidensxmomma]

I feel a little left out or like I don't fit in.

I have a 6 year old son, a 5 year old daughter, and an angel daughter who would be 3 next month. I lost my youngest to SIDS when she was 3 1/2 months old.

So I'm technically WTT #4. However, I'll be going from two children to three when I eventually have another instead of going from three to four, like most women who are wtt#4. So I don't feel like I really fit in with the women who are going to be trying for their fourth.

But at the same time, I don't feel like I fit in with the ladies who are WTT #3 either, since I did already have my third and did get three wonderful months with her. I feel like if I say that I'm WTT #3, I am also "forgetting" about my daughter, which obviously isn't the case.

So I feel kind of like I don't fit in with any group.

Can anyone else relate?

*And just to be clear, no one has made me feel left out or anything. This is an amazing forum with wonderful ladies on it. *

 

[cupcake.]

Since I'm only WTT #1, the only time i actually kind of feel left out is in real life, when all the girls my age could not be farther away from thinking about a family.

So I can't really relate to your situation, but I didn't want to read and run And I'm sorry to hear about your little girl. I do unterstand why you don't want to say you're wtt #3

 

[FionaJean]

in some ways. Sometimes i feel like i am the only person not only here in the forums, but in real life that has been waiting soooooooo long to TTC that is not because of fertility problems or financial, health etc. But overall, it just feels nice to talk to ANYONE who is WTT, regardless of their type of journey I think that probably each one of us feels like we are in our own category in one way or another, since we each have unique circumstances.

 

[tverb84]

in some ways. Sometimes i feel like i am the only person not only here in the forums, but in real life that has been waiting soooooooo long to TTC that is not because of fertility problems or financial, health etc. But overall, it just feels nice to talk to ANYONE who is WTT, regardless of their type of journey I think that probably each one of us feels like we are in our own category in one way or another, since we each have unique circumstances.

Same here. I don't have a lot of people to talk about wtt.

 

[kittycrazy]

i am a mum of four, two of whom passed away. it can be hard as i hate saying i have two kids. i have four!!! ive learnt not to let it bother me what others think and always mention my first two. but they would of been 20 and 17 years old( my live kids are 16 and 9) so i have had time to figure it out a bit. my partner is not my childrens dad but hes always saying things like " oooh here we go gearing up for number 5" which means a lot to me as itll be his first and he never even met my eldest two.x

 

[Kiki1993]

I'm sorry, I do know what you're going through in a way but not the exact situation. I'm so sorry you lost your child.. I can't even begin to understand the whole pain of your situation but I do feel left out a lot in real life, all my friends are either partying so hard they don't know their own name or have babies ... I don't fit in with the party-peeps (never been much of a party girl) and I want to fit in with the mums and mums 2 be but they are flaky as crap and don't seem to want to be friends with anyone that isn't a mother or mother 2 be, for real I drove about 45 minutes to meet a friend and her son, parked in the car park, waited, she text me 10 minutes after we were suppose to meet saying her child needed a feed so she couldn't meet up, I told her I was in town and could come to hers or wait for him to finnish her feed and she said she thinks she is going to put him down for a nap I get kids throw your routine but that happened twice ... I would understand if she didn't feel comfortable breastfeeding in public (even though at this point he was 5 months) but her son was bottle fed.. and she told me he has been in a set routine and he follows it since he was 4 months so could she not plan around that instead of me wasting time, petrol money to get there?
I can't understand how you feel, I don't even have kids but just so you know I can emphasize with the feeling alone and like i don't fit in anywhere

 

[aidensxmomma]

Thanks ladies

It can be really hard feeling like you don't fit in. I'm sorry to hear that you all feel the same way, although it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

kittycrazy - I'm glad your OH says things like that. It must absolutely make your heart melt I'm sorry for your losses as well.

 

[Tasha]

I hope you don't mind me replying since I'm neither WTT nor did I have a baby die after birth. I have however had two babies born sleeping (one at 24+3 and one at 36+6) and this is similar to how I feel in many areas of my life! It's hard because in my head we are a family with five children but to society we are a family with three children. We clearly don't have the same physical issues that a family with that many children have but still my heart says we are that sized family. I've never known if I am WTT/TTC/preg with number six or number. My heart says number six so I follow it.

I have no suggestions but wanted you to know it's not unusual to feel this way. I've known loads who have that are part of the angel mummy community.

 

[aidensxmomma]

Thank you Tasha. I really appreciate your comment. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. My heart says I'm trying for my fourth since Seraphina is and always will be my third. That's what I'm sticking with even if it requires some explaining.

I'm very sorry for your losses

 

[kittycrazy]

Thanks ladies

It can be really hard feeling like you don't fit in. I'm sorry to hear that you all feel the same way, although it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

kittycrazy - I'm glad your OH says things like that. It must absolutely make your heart melt I'm sorry for your losses as well.

i know im lucky to have someone so understanding.
you really are not alone. sending hugs. xx