Anyone have 2 close together then age gap with 3rd?

Discussion in 'Kids & Teenagers' started by twinklestar25, Mar 13, 2021.

  1. twinklestar25

    twinklestar25 Well-Known Member

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    So this is us, we have a 10 yr old, 7 yr old & 17 month boys.
    We were undecided whether to have the 3rd due to the changes it would require & going back to the baby days etc but I couldn’t get past it so we went ahead.

    I had wanted a 3rd between 4-5yrs after the 2nd so the gap is just abit bigger than I’d of ideally liked. So I guess it’s not too much different & I don’t know if I’d of still felt like I do now, probably!

    anyway, the point is we’re unsure whether to have 1 more. I’m interested to hear off people with similar gaps & how things have been for you as they grow up.
    Tbh I’m not sure we fancy another round of sleepless nights, toddlerness, restrictions of naps & feeds. But there’s a part of me that gets slightly* (briefly!) cooey at the thought of another & the big point that it would be nice for our youngest to have someone close to his age.

    But for the above reasons I’m not 100% sure if it’s the right thing to do as I have to think of the older ones too. It would mean taking them out becomes a little harder, no matter how much I think I’ll just deal with working around the naps/feeds/unsettled ness etc it’s still hard to do & no matter how much I want to keep things as they’ve always been for the big uns there does have to be some adaptions & I feel that.


    Don’t get me wrong the big uns don’t miss out, it’s just harder on us to do it. But then the eldest is getting to the age of wanting to go out with friends more so & the middle will probably soon follow. So then youngest is on his own! But I guess that’s only now & then and there will probably be times when one is out the other in & times when we all do stuff together or with some & not others etc
    I also think if we stay as we are in another couple yrs youngest will be out of the toddler stage of trying to run off when out & tantrums etc! And hopefully some calm may resume! As much as I love how cute, cuddly & fun they are, they do also come with a little mind of their own that understands no danger! Lol
    But if we had another then we go back to the beginning and it’s another couple years before we’ve moved past it again. But I know I miss it once it’s past!
    I think you gotta take the rough with the smooth with a toddler haha if you want the cute,smiley, exciting toddler you gotta take the tantrums & everything too! ❤️

    so how have people found having a gap with the 3rd as they get older? All worked out okay!?
    Tia
     
  2. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to my three musketeers

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    Thank you for positing this ! I have DDs with a age gap of 2 years 10 months . We then had DS and theres a 3 year 6 month gap between him and DD2 . We did want smaller but took 9 months before I fell pregnant .

    I feel exactly the same as you do with regards to having a 4th child . I don’t feel totally done and feel like 3 is a odd number . I’d love DS to have a brother but then I think that’s just because DDs have each other . He doesn’t miss out on a thing ! DDs are always playing with him.

    I feel very lucky now to have three pregnancies resulting in three beautiful children . I worry like you the effect on the other children and sometimes I feel like I am spread thinly now but then I think of them all being together growing up into adulthood and always having each other!

    So like you I am very interested in what other ladies have to say !
     
  3. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    One of the reasons I want a 6th is because there's a large gap between ds4 and ds5.
    My gaps are 20 months, 2 years 4 months, 3 years 7 months, 6.5 years. Their ages now are 15, 13, 11, 7, and 11 months. I see the relationship between ds2 and ds4, who have 6 years exactly between them, and although ds2 is great with younger children he does (understandably) find him annoying at times. Ds4 will often be left looking for someone to play with him, and thats with ds3 being quite a young 11 and still enjoying toys. I can't imagine what it'll be like for ds5 when he's 7 and ds4 is 13, and there's no one in between to play with him.
    I dont feel that I have trouble splitting my time or keeping up with them all. My babies are not great sleepers so I've never really had a decent period of sleep since ds1 was born so that's no issue, and I'm actually loving being back in the baby stage and having a little one in the house again
     
  4. misspriss

    misspriss Well-Known Member

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    Not from a parents perspective, but mine and my sisters spacing was my older sister to me, 2 years, younger sister 6 years (from me) and 8 from older sister.

    We literally just had the conversation tonight that we were thick as thieves growing up, but neither of us really had a relationship with our younger sister like that - she doesn't share stuff with us much as adults either. She grew up as kind of a hybrid of a baby of the family and only child. She is much closer with our dad than either of us.

    My kids are ODS - 2y2m - DD - 2y3m -YDS.
     
  5. MrsKatie

    MrsKatie Well-Known Member

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    I think it probably has to do with temperament and personality more than age gaps. My sister is years younger than I am and she is like my soul mate. We are so so close. My brother is almost 3 years younger and we’re close too.
     
  6. HopefulPony

    HopefulPony Mummy to Porge and Bobbin

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    Interesting thread I have an 8 and 6 year old, tried when 6 year old was 2 but it didn’t happen, now with new partner (who also has an 8 year old) and we would love another, hoping it won’t be too crazy!
     
  7. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to my three musketeers

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    Seeing as how I posted in this thread I will
    Update for me personally.

    We decided to go for it ! I am now 11 weeks pregnant . Got pregnant the first month of trying too which was a surprise ! So there will be a age gap of 2 years 11 months between DS and the new baby !
     
    motherofboys likes this.
  8. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations
     
  9. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to my three musketeers

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    Thank you ! X
     

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