Anyone have doubts because of depression, weight, finances?

[misslissa]

Weird post on here I'm sure but do any of you ladies have wobbles about TTC? I was completely in the 'zone' until a few weeks ago I got upset about my weight and then it's spiralled into depression about weight, finances, ability....

Bottom line is that I want a family but I'm petrified I won't cope. What if my depression gets the better of me, what if i gain too much weight, what if we can't afford it etc.

 

[Cara89]

I am there with you on the weight. I started a new job in the service industry and on breaks we get to eat the food there. I happen to loveee bagels and such... I must have ganied 20-30 lbs since Sept and it's made me a bit shaky on the TTC front. I just keep telling myself that I can change it. If I need to lose that weight to be able to get a then I will do anything and everything I can. Atm though, not sure why I haven't gotten it yet, so I am content to eat bagels As for finances, I just have faith that when it happens we can manage, but I also have great money management skills, which comes from DF & I living off of less than $1,000 a month and still meeting all the bills and food.

Just believe in yourself. You obviously want that bean, and you have to have the confidence in yourself that you will be able to do what you need to in order to get a and in order to care for the LO when they arrive!

 

[Stepmomtobio]

Absolutely! I got from all in TTC to 'maybe I should wait' because I should lose weight before gaining, pay off my bills and save a little first, ect. I think planning is always great but as everyone loves to say "It has a way of working out" so trying to set doubts aside an try!

 

[misslissa]

Morning ladies, good to hear others have the same fears, doesn't mean we don't want to get pregnant - just that there are concerns.

How long have you both been trying? I have since jan (ish) but missed a couple of cycles so not had many goes yet!

 

[welshgirl21]

I am the same and have some concerns; one was money but my cousin who had a baby 5 weeks ago said that somehow you just manage to afford everything and it all works out.

Another was weight; I am not majorly overweight, but could probably do with shifting a stone maybe. I eat healthy 80% of the time, lots of lean meat, salad and vegetable; I have introduced more fruit this week since finding I like raspberries (I am not a big fruit lover) and I am also eating more pulses like chick peas and cannelini beans. If I want a small treat I will, but as a treat not part of my everyday diet.

My final concern is my OH who smokes as I worry about the quality of his sperm. He has smoked since he was 13, gave up last year when he had a serious chest infection and low oxygen levels, but then started again. I also worry about my health as a passive smoker. He says he'll stop when I am pregnant and we have a baby, but I think why not now while we are trying to create a baby?

 

[Stepmomtobio]

Morning ladies, good to hear others have the same fears, doesn't mean we don't want to get pregnant - just that there are concerns.

How long have you both been trying? I have since jan (ish) but missed a couple of cycles so not had many goes yet!

2 years if not preventing but just a month ttc officially. I think everyone has doubts because there are so many reasons to do it and judt as many to make you think twice but if you are here I think you are ready.

 

[misslissa]

Morning ladies, good to hear others have the same fears, doesn't mean we don't want to get pregnant - just that there are concerns.

How long have you both been trying? I have since jan (ish) but missed a couple of cycles so not had many goes yet!

2 years if not preventing but just a month ttc officially. I think everyone has doubts because there are so many reasons to do it and judt as many to make you think twice but if you are here I think you are ready.

I think you are right, if you are at the stage of being on baby forums you are more or less ready. Sometimes I wish I'd just been 'caught out' so that the decision didn't have to be made. Bottom line is I want a child and I want it in the near future so...... Kind of answered the question.

 

[Cara89]

Morning ladies, good to hear others have the same fears, doesn't mean we don't want to get pregnant - just that there are concerns.

How long have you both been trying? I have since jan (ish) but missed a couple of cycles so not had many goes yet!

DF & I started TTC last March, but my cycles are all wonky so as of today I only had 7 cycles since starting TTC. So we just handle things as they come.

 

[831]

I was way concerned about TTC... money, finances, my family's history of divorces, and a brief spell with depression were all I could think about. My husband really wanted to have a child about 3 years ago, but I was afraid. To get over my fears, I finally just made a list of things I would have to have in order to make myself feel more stable.

1) Health Insurance for me that would cover prenatal care. Couldn't afford to get my hubby covered just yet.

2) Stable job that I can still do while I am pregnant.

3) My husband and I both finishing school.

Once I did that and we got to a place where we had accomplished those things, I felt that I was as ready as I was going to be. Whenever I get scared now, I just try to think back on those things, the support I have and the belief in myself to get me through. Don't worry... you are SO not alone in those feelings.

 

[Cherrybinky]

hi girls. Im from Tri 2 and just saw this post so thought Id give you some support.

I started ttc in November last year. I got my BFP in March this year and panic set in. Money, weight and that fact that Id suffered anxiety and depression for 9 years. I thought, how will I cope!
However, you will. I have a high BMI and risk of diabetes later on. I then lost my job on 16th May but with a little budgeting and buying second hand things and having lots of support from family and friends and a great midwife, Im good. I have bad days and worry a lot but once you realise that you will have that little bundle, despite the constant worry (and it is!) that 12 week scan is amazing and the panic days are outweighed by the good ones.
Good luck to you all
XX

 

[karenlyn]

I know exactly how you feel, because I've definitely felt the same way! And this is what I've decided:

There is no right or wrong way to make this decision or start this process. If you feel like you want to start a family but are scared because all the cards aren't in place... do it if you feel it's right. Because there will *always* be something that makes it "not the right time."

No one's keeping score on what you do and don't have right at this time in your life. All that matters is what you're ready for. Get as much right with your life as you can, sure... but the most important thing is to do what's most important for you! There's no reason in the world why you have to be 100% perfect before starting your family. Because the truth is, you probably never will be (at least in your eyes!). And there are a lot of things in your life that you can fix with one hand while holding your little one with the other...

Life is never perfect... it's just the best you can make it.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

i am too, im slightly over weight and would love to lose weight before i got pregnant but havent got any motivation at the mo to lose it,
also we are selling our flat at the moment and in this day and age we dont know hoe long it will take, and have been told that if i get pregnant or have a baby they wont lend us enough money to buy a house, so if we dont move now it will be very hard to move and i dont realy want a baby in a flat, as i dont think we will be able to move after a year x
its hard in this day and age, i wish i was care free like others but im not, i want to provide the best i can for my children when i have them x

 

[steffa]

We have been married for 3 years, not preventing for over a year and seriously ttc for a couple of months. My main issue was my weight, but in the past 2 years I have shifted 3 stone and feel super fit. I think that we will always find reasons not to because its such a huge deal! The only problem is when we actually feel ready, like really really ready, it doesn´t happen as quick as we think...and here we all are temping, testing, etc etc. I think everyone is different and if we can deal with whatever comes when it comes we will be doing well. Chances are we can deal with whatever! We are strong women!!(oprah moment). My sister is 8 months pregnant and has money issues and weight issues but she will have her baby girl in July because that was her priority at the time. Follow your heart!!