Anyone having a family member live with them after LO is born?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Lu28, Apr 5, 2009.

  1. Lu28

    Lu28 Aisling's mammy

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    Will any of you have a family member live with you for a few weeks after LO is born to "help out"?

    I know my situation is a bit different from most people's because we're going to be moving from Ireland to England within a couple of weeks of Spud being born. My sister has said she'll move over with us for a couple of weeks to help us settle in. It's a lovely thought but first of all, my sister and I couldn't be any more incompatible living together, we would kill each other after more than a couple of days. Even if this wasn't the case, I can't help but think that we're going to have to cope with Spud on our own at some point so why not get on with it? My DH is great and will definitely take on his fair share of responsibility so I'm really not worried.

    I'm just a bit worried now that we're being a bit naive about how difficult it will be, I know having a first baby will be a massive adjustment but we can do it!! Just interested in seeing what everyone else is doing...

    :hug:
     
  2. gbromley2007

    gbromley2007 Well-Known Member

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    No we aren't having anyone move in, and even if they offered i wouldnt want them to, im very much a 'keep to myself' kind of person and hubby and i both agree for us we will manage, but i can imagine the stress of the move and everything would be very daunting, everyone to their own. i think help would be good for you but maybe if your incompatable living together maybe it will cause more stress than eliminate it. big hugs and good luck sweety!
     
  3. cybermum

    cybermum MUM TO 2 BOYS.

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    I am the same.
    I had my first DS at age 19 and me and OH dealt with it alone.
    It was hard and a shock to the syetm at first but you will be very surprised at how quickly you adapt.

    I would find it more stressful with someone else there if it were me.
    You can do it hun,you really can xxx:hugs:
     
  4. wishing4ababy

    wishing4ababy mummy of 3 gorgeous LO's!

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    we don't have anyone move in with us hun - but i know quite a lot of my friends have family members move in with them after the birth. I couldn't cope with someone else being in my home when i just want to get to settle into the new routine etc.....oh is fab and does all the other stuff too.
    xxxx
     
  5. Lu28

    Lu28 Aisling's mammy

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    Hmmm, I tend to agree with you guys. DH and I are both very independent and I wouldn't deal well with people being in my house when we're trying to adjust... I think I'm going to have to figure out a way to tell her without hurting her feelings!
     
  6. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

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    MIL is coming to stay but only so i she can look after my 3 LO while i am in labour and in hospital she will be goin home a few days after ...she lives 300 miles away and i think it would be nice to see her granddaughter so young
     
  7. starryeye31

    starryeye31 2nd tri ~Its A Boy ~

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    Nope , Im a very private person , I like to be alone , Id go nuts if someone was trying to help with my baby , I dont even want anyone to hold him after he is born other then me and his daddy , Well really I dont want to even share him with his daddy , lol I was like that with my last daughter too I held her and carried her everywhere untill she was big enough to walk , I had awesome arm muscles :)
     
  8. mrsholmes

    mrsholmes Well-Known Member

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    no! def not! ill see how I go but Ive got my OH and my mother and MIL live a mile away so id only have to ring if I did need them
     
  9. magicvw

    magicvw Hoping for a 3rd

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    My parents came over when my LO was born and were staying with us. I can't even remember how long they stayed! I would normally get sick of them pretty quickly, but god my mum wasn't half useful! She did all the housework and took care of stuff I was oblivious to and let me get on with just doing the baby stuff. I wasn't too thrilled at the prospect of them staying but I am so so glad they did.

    This time round they'll be here too, but perhaps not staying every night as they have now bought a house over here and I'm pretty happy with that!
     
  10. lee77

    lee77 New Member

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    Mother in law to be coming for 2 weeks apparently! With my mum the week after!! :hissy:
     
  11. Lara+sam+bump

    Lara+sam+bump Well-Known Member

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    My Mum will be coming to stay wid me, but thats only because OH has to go back to uni to finish his end of year exams. LO's due date is bang in the middle of his exams, so Sam will literally be wid me for the birth and then probs have to rush off back to Wales wid in a few days if not less of LO's arrival. So as soon as he goes back, my Mum will move in, for probs 1-2 weeks until OH finishes exams, im hugely thankful to her as she works fulltime and is the only income in the household and so will have to take the time off. xxxx
     
  12. celine

    celine Well-Known Member

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    My mom lives with us in our home so she will be around...
     
  13. Mummi2b

    Mummi2b x Mummy to Adrhianna x

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    oh i feel 4 you lmaoooo Poor guy xxx:rofl::rofl::rofl::haha::haha:
     
  14. charlieann

    charlieann Well-Known Member

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    this would be my idea of hell with our family. i only get on with my mum and sister since i moved out. i get on really well with OH's sis and one offered to help me come sort out house as she knew i was getting stressed with amount of jobs needing doing, but i couldnt let her do that as im such a control freak! she helped me pack my hospital bag instead, then i repacked it after she left. really dont know how i'll cope letting anyone near baby. think im gonna have to work on those arm muscles like starryeye31.
     
  15. mummy to be

    mummy to be Cautiously Pregnant

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    We are having my mum and MIL come and stay..... Mum is staying for a week then flying home (she is over 27 hours from us) and MIL is flying in day MUM flying out and she is staying for 2 and a half weeks (she lives over 16 hours away).... I am going to love it.... I will loving having the 2nd pair of hands around the place untill i get into some sort of routine!!! MIL is great she will cook and clean and shop and everything.... MUM ummm not so much but i know she will help where she thinks she can...

    Normally i am a very private person but i have no idea what to expect as this is our first baby i dont know what to do or how to do it but i am sure that with MUMS here with us we should be fine...

    OH wants to mums to be here as well to "help" us both out.. but i secretly think he might be worried about how he is going to deal with the changes and demands that our life is about to change with.....

    Should be great but.. i havent seen my MUM in over 6 years... so it will be great to see her again :)
     
  16. 2nd time mum

    2nd time mum Well-Known Member

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    No defo not! This is my 2nd and I''ll be at home. You are doing alot by moving but maybe best to get into your routine. It is like everything else that you will be amazed how well it will go. My baby is due in June and we will have the in-laws over from Canada in August I think but they will be sleeping in a hotel but here rest of the time and that is beginning to stress me! Good luck xx
     
  17. dizzy duck

    dizzy duck Mummy to Oliver

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    My MIL thinks she is but has another thing coming, she can be here when he is born and for a couple of days but thats it, she already thinks this is HER baby, my mum is coming up too and is staying for a week, I wasn't too keen on this to start with but can see the benefits of only having to concentrate on our little man. Take care :hugs: XX
     
  18. elley_baby248

    elley_baby248 Mummy to Ben and Pregnant

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    No one is moving in but my mum is taking a week off work the week after our little boy arrives as my Oh is only taking a week off when he arrives and then having a week at xmas as well.

    We have planned for my mum to come round in the mornings when we come home from the hospital for a week just to help sort things out of a morning as my brain doesn't function till the afternoon and to help get us all into a routine as i'm a bit of a float through the day kinda person then she is going to work and leaving me and OH to it. No doubt his mum and dad will be down sometime during that week too.

    Then the 2nd week my oh is going back to work so mum is taking a week off as i have asked her cause i don't really think i'll be ok with being alone not so much with the baby as i think i'll be more than happy with that but it's just so i have some company and can still get things done like the shopping and shes a great cleaner so she can do that for me lol! She's just going to be around to make things a bit easier for us all but at the same time she has already said that if i want her to bog off and let me get on with it at any time then she will as she knows it's mine and oh's time with the baby.
     
  19. Lisalovesbean

    Lisalovesbean Well-Known Member

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    Nooooo sireeee! :rofl:

    I am having an elective c-section due to past emergency and breech sections....so I know I will be in hospital for at least a couple of days...everybody can visit me at the hospital depending on how I am recovering but not until I have established BF'ing....first time MIL was there as I was trying to get baby to latch on, shouting at my OH, "Bottle!"...and it was bloody off putting and annoying, so will be getting acquainted first, then my parents and kids will visit, then MIL and FIL and anybody else....then when we get home Mum will pop in once a day for any errands and bits and all visitors will be welcome as long as they phone and we are ok with it....I have a son with Autism and I am keen to make sure he is comfortable with baby around before also imposing lots of cooing visitors on him too!

    The early days are so important and I love the time with OH and kids alone!
     
  20. littlemansmum

    littlemansmum Mum Of 2 Beautiful Boys x

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    Not a hope in hell!! I was SO stifled by MIL last time, she didn't move in and stay overnight but she may as well have, if she wasn't round here we were being summoned up there and tantrums were thrown if we didn't go.
    My mum is having my son while i am in labour/in hospital, but he will be put to bed at our place and she will leave when hubby gets home and will only be there in the morn as he is ready to leave for hospital.
    When we come home she will see the baby for a few minutes and then leave us for some alone time, she was SO good last time staying away while hubby was off and giving us space unless she was invited, hubby's lot were crap at it.
    This time i am instructing mw's at hospital not to let anyone in but my husband, and then we have told those members of hubby's family we still speak to that we are not having any visitors at the house this time and we will arrange a good time with them when we can visit them when we're ready, but not to expect or pressure us into visiting in the first fortnight cos it won't happen.
    Hubby's grandad wants us to go down and see him now but i am not up for a car journey to London at this stage, and not sure how we'll cope with a toddler and a newborn on that journey in first few weeks either but we'll get there.
    This time i want the time and chance to bond with my baby without someone else trying to snatch them from me at every opportunity or taking over, and i want time to establish feeding, and get my son used to having a sibling and give him time too, if have another section i want time to recover, last time i got so fed up of MIL popping in and if we didn't answer the door using her keys that we went out shopping into town for hours on end, i would be so knackered at the end and in so much pain i'd hardly be able to walk but it gave us time alone, not doing it this time, i will have peace and quiet time and relaxaton, hell if i have another section i think i may even take to my bed for a day to really rest lol xxx
     

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