Anyone know people who just COULDN'T BF??

Munchkin30

1 DD,2 losses, Pregnant!!
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Hey all,
I'd always planned on BFing my baby, I know it can hurt and be awkward at first getting the right position etc but never expected there to be a major problem, my mum and gran both did it and said they took to it like ducks to water!

My OH's sister is v tough but gave up BFing with her first early on cos her milk wasn't coming in, and didn't even try with her second. I've also heard of people on here not being able to but not sure why, and not sure if there are ways round it?? Has anyone heard anyone not being able to, if so what was the problem??

Thanks ladies,

xxx
 
My friend couldn't breast feed simply becasuse she found it exhausting and very painfull - after 2 weeks of breast feeding and being hammered by the midwife to keep at it and constantly being attached to her LO she decided enough was enough and switched to bottles and formula...after that her LO would go 3-4 hours between feeds instead of half an hour or 20 mins and he seemed a lot more settled and her boobs healed! She said it was the best thing she ever did and wished shed switched a week earlier... I am going to BF but only for first few days so they get colousturm stuff. I know it sounds selfish and Im sure people will tell me Im being selfish but I dont want to have to be constantly attatched to my baby all the time and have sore nipples when I could have a settled baby on formula and not have sore nipples!
 
I didn't breastfeed with my son but I really wanted to with my daughter. I tried, but my milk never came in and she was starving. I literally had no milk, although during pregnancy I had a few drops of leakage. I was devastated to be honest but maybe I just can't?! I'm going to try again with this baba, but I'm not holding out much hope as I havent even had a drop of leaking, but I'm not gonna get so upset this time if it doesn't work out again x
 
I couldn't bf my eldest, he was born with a cleft palate and needed special squueezy bottles, I tried for 4 days, and expressed for 3 weeks after. I didnt beat myself up over it though, I had tried. I went on to successfully bf my youngest for 9 months after he was born.

xx
 
Hi, I'm someone who couldn't breastfeed. I'm not trying to scaremonger, simply sharing my experience.

All the way through pregnancy I was adamant I was going to bf, so much so, i refused to buy formula because I didn't want to cave once LO was home and I hit a weak moment.

Anyway, LO arrives, I was told to feed him as soon as possible, I didn't have any guidance so I just shoved him on and he didn't latch properly. I left him like it, just being glad he was eating and I'd get the technique later on.

Anyway, that rendered my nipples sore (I should have asked for guidance for that first feed) and when I got to my bed and had guidance more started to go wrong.

My baby refused to latch properly. To the point where midwife was holding the back of his neck and forcing him to stay where he was until he'd start sucking, which more often than not he didn't and I was then milked.

Whenever LO had my expressed milk he would throw it up which ended up causing more of a problem.

So I was faced with very sore and swollen nipples, a baby who wouldn't latch and my stuborness to bf.

I was misserable and dreading the feeds that kept looming into sight, which meant LO was miserable and becoming less and less able to latch.

I was in hospital for 2 nights trying to get bfing right but in the end, I had to swallow my pride and go with formula.

It was the best thing I could have done. I was so fixated on wanting to bf because "breast is best" that I hadn't realised that what I was doing was the worst thing for us both. I was in tears and LO wasn't getting the nutrition he needed because he was bringing it up after he finally had some.

I would say, try and bf if you want to, what was a horrible experience for me may not be for you. But, don't make it your one and only choice because if for some reason you can't or baby can't, you may end up feeling terrible.

ETA - I know I felt guilty for ages afterwards but when I see a happy, contented and very rarely sicky baby, I'm confodent I made the right choice for us.
 
Thanks for these girls. I really don't have a problem with people that don't BF and to be honest i want to BF for selfish reasons, bonding, simplicity and my instincts. If LO had formula i really wouldn't think i was doing him/her a disservice but i'd be really dissapointed myself. I'm so determined i've already bought breast pads, a BFing cushion and a breast pump for later, haven't even considered looking at formula. I truly won't feel GUILTY if i can't BF, as i said i'd just feel dissapointed.... Sounds like you all had a tough time though....
 
There are few people who truly cannot (ie. no milk production - which is not the same as having to wait 3-4 days for their milk, which happens often and confuses people). Mastectomies, breast reductions, etc. that sort of thing.

There are a lot of women who find it too difficult due to circumstances, or because something is wrong with the baby.

My milk was fine - my baby had a broken collarbone at birth and could not be on the breast, it was aggravating his injury and caused him to fear the breast. In my circumstance, I rented a double pump. This requires 24/7 pumping every 2 hours and most women do not wish to do that when formula is available (in previous times, there would have been no choice).

Hopefully your circumstances go well :) However, it is unlikely that you will literally be unable to produce any milk. If problems occur and you wish to breastfeed, remember that a hospital grade pump is always an option. Good luck!

Me, I don't feel guilty that I could not breastfeed. I do however, mourn that we could not share the experience. Big difference. Nobody should feel guilty for feeding their baby, but it's okay to mourn what you wanted to do as a parent.
 
Some people are on medications that don't allow them to safely breast feed. x
 
I do wonder why i cant produce any milk. It makes me feel really sad. My mum could do it, and so could everybody else in my family. My boobs dont even get any bigger in pregnancy. The more i think about it now the more confused i become. Dont get me wrong, i have no problem giving my children formula, i have 2 healthy children that had it, but i kind of feel a bit of a failure that i didnt have the option, and that my body wont do it. I wonder if there will be any chance of it this time, or is it a once no milk always no milk kinda thing??!!
 
I only managed to breastfeed for 6 days with my first and to be honest it was because of the pain and the fact I was dreading him waking to feed due to how sore I was, I didn't want to feel like that. That said, I think a lot of it could have been down to hormones as I got the baby blues quite bad. I didn't have the most supportive midwives after Rhys was born and they made me feel incredibly guilty when I decided to change to formula. I'm def trying again this time and I hope because this is my second that I may find it a bit less stressful, finger's crossed anyway :)
 
I had a problem with milk production. I just couldn't produce enough to satisfy baby after about 3 weeks. When baby wanted more milk than I could produce (after constantly trying to feed and pump to up my production) I had to supplement with formula. After a while spending 40 minutes bf and then another 20 ff I gave up on the bf. I was having to wash bottles and buy formula anyway, which in my opinion was the only thing I didn't like about ff.
 
i couldnt bf either, i had no guidance until it was too late, i struggled for days and days, my daughter wasnt eating, still the mw pressured me, i got the blues as i was so dissapointed with myself so told the mw to stop pressurising me, gave formula, and then alll was perfect and i wished id done it earlier, i will ask for guidance AS soon as thisone crys, and hope for the best :) good luck xxx
 
Also my friend couldnt produce milk and didnt understand why for 6 days after giving birth her LO would just scream after seeming like she was feeding - it turned out she was latching on but no milk was comming out while her LO was sucking. Her midwife was a bitch and kept telling her to "keep at it" until on the 6th day she had lost so, so much weight, my friend was distraught for starving her baby and she didn't even know she was - as soon as her LO went on formula she was a happy, calm baby and put on the weight quickly.
 
I think it's 1% of women who physically can't breastfeed, as in they literally can't get milk into their baby. That doesn't include people who say they couldn't because it hurt or baby was feeding every 20 mins etc. With the right support, 99% of women can so think positive :)
 
I think it's 1% of women who physically can't breastfeed, as in they literally can't get milk into their baby. That doesn't include people who say they couldn't because it hurt or baby was feeding every 20 mins etc. With the right support, 99% of women can so think positive :)


But there are plenty of women who are on meds too and can't do it for that reason. I just wish there were proper support for women to help them. I hope to breast feed, but it if doesn't work out I will ff.
 
My personal experience was that bfing caused me horrific pain, worse than childbirth and hence I hated each feed and swapping to formula was the best decision I made. While I wasnt one of the few that physically anatomically couldnt bf, no amount of support from anyone would have changed the pain I was in, so I did the only thing I could do in my circs. Ill bf collustrum this time again as I know I can just about cope with the pain for 4 days, after which if its as bad as last time ill switch.
 
Lack of support at the begining didnt help things with me. I do wonder about my boy though, he only took to one bottle (mam) and refused any different shape teat. He is 3 and a half now and doesnt know how to use a straw, so the sucking thing doesnt come naturally to him . Will be trying again though :D
 
With my first I really wanted to breastfeed, but after just a few days I dried up already and therefore had to put her on formula. I don't even get milk during pregnancy. with number 2 I tried again but he was such a sicky baby everything he would take he would throw up again, he didnt latch properly and he was losing so much weight because of it, so switched him to formula this still did not improve his sickyness much and he kept throwing up everything he had drunk, He had reflux. after been given some gaviscon by doctors he improved a little and finally started to gain weight but was still unhappy and throwing up a lot. at 3 months old i started to give him very runny baby rice (without mentioning to health visitor) he changed over night, he was happy and piled on the weight he hasnt stopped eating well since, he is not over weight and is the happiest ever. he is two now though lol. so for baby due on the 1st i had thought of BF but after both other experiences I have decided on formula, besides dd is so looking forward to helping etc. dd 5 ds 2 and a baby, just selfishly easier for me. x
 
my boy was in intensive care and i wanted to spend as much time with him as possible so didnt express milk as frequently as i should, the nurses on his ward wre really sweet they would tell me when they were going to be ushering people out the room for rounds and things in advance so i could grab a quick cuddle and then they would go we have set your things up in one of the expressing rooms go on its better than waiting in the hallway, but even then that was only two times a day maximum, i just oculdnt leave him, so obviously the inevitable happened, not enough milk, my baby was massive as well so needed the milk of a 3 month old, i bought a breast pump for home but just couldnt get into a good enough routine using it and then of course baby finds bottle easier so stopped breast feeding at the times that he did feed on the breast so preference of bottle and poor timing on my part for the pump resulted in our complete swtich to formula.

i will try somuch harder this time, purely because i felt so bad last time for not trying harder, and although i shouldnt let people dictate how i feel about something they do have a knack of making you feel bad for being a c section formula feeding mummy, like you might as well replace yourself with a robot or something lol

i will say though i think society makes it harder for mums these days to do things such as breast feed such as families being so disconnected now - ie the grandparents, sisters cousins etc, people having weirdly strong views on publicbreast feeding and also mummies having to go back to work and even when you do not you have to be an absolute domestic goddess which well is difficult with a baby attached to your breast and not being able to neck down 15 cups of dbl espressos by noon lol lol lol

your best attitude to have is to really have a go at it, and even if you have tried your hardest and it isnt working for you oryour baby for all of the reasons the other ladies have pointed out in their experiences then move to ff or a bit of both like i did for a while. at the end of the day people will compare eachothers parenting styles for donkeys years now your feeding method is just the beginning lol
 
I couldn't as I had no milk. I kind of always knew deep down I think, as I had no breast tenderness at all during my pregnancy, they never changed size, etc. Nevertheless I tried and the hospital MWs told me we were doing really well. In fact I found later than they were so busy shoving breast is best down our throats that they failed to notice that we were not doing really well at all - Amy became increasingly unsettled while we were in hospital and on our first night home was inconsolable until we cracked open the formula at 3am.

The next day my community MW visited and was horrified that they hadn't even suspected a problem at the hospital and told me I had done exactly the right thing. Amy had lost 11% of her birth weight at that point and my MW said normally they would refer us back to the hospital for anything more than 10% but since we had started formula the night before we could see how it went. Amy thrived.

We stopped "BF" on day 3 and guess what? My milk never did come in and I never had any of the breast tenderness people say you get when you stop BF suddenly. Not even a twinge.

In theory I am prepared to try again with this baby but I am scared that the same thing will happen and they either won't notice or will think I'm just giving up and refuse to give us a bottle (they did this with my roomate in the maternity ward who was sobbing for a bottle in the middle of the night because her baby wouldn't latch). So while in principle I am prepared to give BF another go, I do wonder whether it wouldn't give me peace in my own mind to go straight to formula.

ETA: The official tagline may be "breast is best" but mine is "breast is better". It's not "best" for everyone and that mantra makes many people feel like they have failed if they ca't provide said "best". What is best is a happy and healthy mum and baby, whatever the means of nutrition.
 

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