*anyone lost interest in pregnancy since knowing the gender?*

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by Jess TTC3, Sep 15, 2012.

  1. Jess TTC3

    Jess TTC3 Well-Known Member

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    I found out I'm having my third girl this week and have since felt selfishly upset about it. I don't have the excitement I had before the scan when there was a chance I could be having a Son. I feel very disappointed and distant from this pregnancy now.. even feeling the movements do nothing for me know when before feeling the little nudges inside me were so cute.

    Am I alone with this feeling?
     
  2. kiwii

    kiwii Well-Known Member

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    Since we are expecting our first, I can't say that I relate with you. But, I can see after two girls already how you can be very hopeful for a boy. I think a lot more people deal with gender disappointment than we realize. Hopefully you can rekindle that excitement soon!
     
  3. Beccaboop

    Beccaboop Mummy to Jacob

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    I did at first but once i had time to get used to the fact im having a boy and bought lots of cute clothes im fine with it!

    I think it helps that this is my first pregnancy and theres still a chance i could have a girl next time i dont know how id feel if this was last pregnancy and i still didnt have a girl!

    Im still kind of scared cos i dont know what to do with a boy and i know a lot of horrible boys (including my brother whos in prison!!) and im worried my boy will be horrible but i guess ive got to make sure he doesnt some how!

    Maybe theres professional help you can get for this sort of thing??

    I hope you feel better soon xxx
     
  4. Jess TTC3

    Jess TTC3 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your input guys. If it was my 2nd I would'nt feel so bad but its my third and i feel deflated....
     
  5. angela2011

    angela2011 Well-Known Member

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    Lots of women suffer from gender dissapointment. I had it really bad when I found out my third was another boy. I had always wanted a little girl to dress up go shopping with have tea parties . It was my dream to have a daughter but since we have decided on only three I felt my dream had ended. I would never know what it was like to have a daughter and to me it was like someone had died my dream had died. I went from being on top of the world to not being so happy to be pregnant anymore. Of course that changed when he was born. I loved my son and was thankful for him but I still had a whole in my heart for the girl I always wanted. Almost two years later I got pregnant again by pure accident and felt like I had won the lottery when I was told its a girl. I paid for 6 different ultrasounds just to comfirm it was a girl and I cried tears of joy each time they said its a girl. ( my husband thought I was nuts) After her I had a 5 year IUD put in and it caused lots of bleeding problems from it so I had it removed and went over a year and a half with out a peorid so I assumed I couldn't get pregnant anymore but we still used condoms except one time and I found out I was pregnant again. I was hoping for another girl so my little girl would have a sister but it was a little boy again. I was not devasted by this but a little dissapointed but I got used to the fact it was another boy. I lost him at 22 weeks and felt guilty for every feeling any dissapointment in his gender. I felt lost when my son died so I wanted one more baby to complete my family so here I am again pregnant and yes it is a little boy again. I am happy about it. Of course before I found out I held out hope for another little girl another chance for my daughter to have a sister but I am just thankful that he is healthy and I am thankful that I atleast have one daughter. Who knows you could end up with a little boy down the road. I am sure you will be a great mother no matter what the sex is.
     
  6. Jess TTC3

    Jess TTC3 Well-Known Member

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    Aww.. you guys are seriously the best! You take time to express your emotions that I think only a women can relate to... So sorry to hear of the loss of your son..

    My OH has tried to cheer me up saying what a special time it is for him and I , he's a sweetie and I can't knock him for not really understanding. I will come to terms with it..just time is the essence I hope..
     
  7. catfromaus

    catfromaus Mum to angel Aiden Lynne

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    I have two girls. DH wants to find out the gender of this baby, and I am worried I will feel like you. DH doesn't want any more babies, but I feel like I need to have a son.
    Your feelings are completely understandable, and I am sure that you will love your daughter. It is just that you are mourning the boy that you hoped for xx
     
  8. catfromaus

    catfromaus Mum to angel Aiden Lynne

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    Just to add- I have picked out a name for a little girl, and that made me feel a bit more like I could cope with being told I wasn't going to have a boy. Have you thought about names?
     
  9. Jess TTC3

    Jess TTC3 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for your input..x. Yes had a girls name from very early on..my oldest daughter thought of it and ive fell in love with it... but guess what..oh has since said he does not like the name... so now thats frustrated me also...
     
  10. Lady_Venom

    Lady_Venom Well-Known Member

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    I am always so embarassed to admit it and discuss it. I feel extra guilty and horrible for not being as excited about my first pregnancy now. I was extremely adamant about having a boy...it's all I thought about, all of the fun gender predictors told me boy, I thought my gut feeling was telling me boy and the baby close up on the ultrasound had it's fathers facial structure (it seemed) and all his family is men :p. I was so excited and pictured how my life would be with a little guy. but no...the tech was 95% sure it was a girl on my 20 week scan. I want to get that checked one more time just to be sure. I was very depressed last week. It has been taking a while for me to come to terms with it. I never wanted any girls. I think all the emotion stems from my life. I didn't have the best childhood/teenage years thanks to my mother so subconsciously I thought i would have to relive those feelings when my daughter becomes of age. I didn't want to have to deal with the teenage years trying to protect her yet not be overbearing. I have always gravitated towards male friends. All my friends in highschool were guys pretty much and I am very much a tomboy. I can relate to guys much better. But now..it looks like I need to suck it up and be a strong mother to a daughter. Whenever I feel her move, my day does brighten up and I have been alot better with it this week in trying to stay happy. I shouldn't have got my hopes up so much though. I feel I have come to terms with it for the most part although I do have moments were I get sad. I read on here so many people that didn't want a boy and I just get so jealous...if I could trade with yous I would! (that's horrible to say) :( well, at least I got that out in the open. Of course I'm going to love her when she arrives and I'm sure any sad feelings will be washed away once she is "real". blah...glad I'm not alone. I'm so ashamed.
     
  11. lch28

    lch28 Well-Known Member

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    aww honey im sorry you are feeling this way. i think you jut need some time to accept and you will re attatch for sure =D we lost our first daughter this February at 23 weeks. While we will be thrilled either way, i am scared i may feel a little dissapointed if its a boy, cause i was already so excited for my daughter ya know?
     
  12. daisymay11

    daisymay11 Well-Known Member

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    I have been going through gender disapointment as well. The first 3-4 days after I found out we were having a boy I was devastated, all I did was cry. OH didn't understand so that made it worse and of course I felt like a terrible person for feeling this way. Then I decided that if we decided on the name that would help me to connect with LO more. We decided on the first name but I really wanted the middle name to be my father. OH didn't want this as he thought it would hurt his dad's feelings so I was a wreck again. I was so depressed and it made me feel even more distant from my LO as I always thought if I had a son his middle name would be after my dad. There was nothing I could do about it though so I have just been trying hard to move past this and focus on the positives. I have picked out his nursery theme, bought some clothes have become more excited. I think in time things will continue to get easier and I know once we all meet our LOs we will love them more than anything. Going through all this has made me realize how common this is but no one talks about it. I am greatful to be able to chat on this forum and have support from you ladies.
     
  13. Mamato2boys

    Mamato2boys Well-Known Member

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    I never found out with my last two babies, both boys. So I've decided not to go ahead and find out the gender. I have thought about finding out because I want that little girl!!! But I enjoy being pregnant and wouldn't want to be sad and depressed waiting for the baby to come.
     
  14. ILoveYouZandT

    ILoveYouZandT Well-Known Member

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    I'm seriously counting down the days until the ultrasound where we'll find out. I'm really ready to know who I've been carrying with me the last nearly 13 weeks!

    If it is a boy, I'm ready to try and move on and move forward and accept that a daughter was never meant for me. I'm ready to try and shop, think of names for a boy and just move on with it the best I can.

    If it is a girl I'm ready to shop and celebrate!! To tell my son who believes wholeheartedly that a little "baby sister girl baby" has been growing in my tummy.

    I hate hate hate the fact that I know how much more excited I'd be to hear "It's a girl!". I won't be disappointed if this baby is another boy, I will just be dealing with the overwhelming loss of wanting a daughter so badly.

    I'm just ready to know. I feel like I'm standing still every moment I don't know. I don't like saying "it" although I mostly say "she".
     
  15. DessyMarie

    DessyMarie Well-Known Member

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    I want a boy, but I did the same thing as you; picked a girl name I absolutely adore. That way, if it is a girl, I can say I have my little "so-and-so" growing inside me :)
     
  16. elle1981

    elle1981 Expecting 4th and last LO

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    Hi just wanted you to know you are not alone in how you are feeling! I found out I was having another boy, and even though I thought I was finally ok with it, truth is deep down I'm not! I have lost all enthusiasm and excitement for this pregnancy! I am 30wks and havent even ordered a pram, carseat, moses or anything yet!
    I am trying to convince myself everything will be better for this being a boy, which it will be, but I still cant help but mourn the fact I really wanted a girl!

    :cry: And its just shitty feeling like this!! Really annoyed at myself for not truly enjoying my very last pregnancy!

    So lots of :hugs: to you

    Elle xx
     
  17. Amy_T

    Amy_T Mummy of 3 gorgeous girls

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    I have also just found out I am having my third girl, I am not as disappointed as I thought I might be but deep down I would love a boy. My second daughter wasnt given much chance of survival when something was found at 26 weeks, we went through hell and could easily have lost her so that's what I'm clinging on to, that I have another healthy girl growing inside me and I'm blessed. But I know how you feel, we won't be having any more after this so I am trying to get my head round the fact that I am destined for a house of pink!!
     

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