Anyone struggling to get baby number 2??

[Munchkin30]

Hey all,

My dd is 2 and 4 months and we had a mmc at 12 weeks in the summer and just lost our 2nd daughter at 21 weeks pregnant due to a heart condition.

It took us 2 cycles to get pregnant with dd and her pregnancy went so smoothly I thought it would be easy to get number 2 but it looks like we're in for a long wait.

I was really hoping for a 2 year age gap but that's not happening now and I don't want to be wishing my dd's toddler years away yearning for number 2.

Is anyone else struggling to get to number 2 for whatever reason? Worried about bigger age gaps/enjoying your toddlers young years?

Thanks all xxx

 

[Eleanor ace]

I don't have any experience but I wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loses . If you do have to wait there are lots of nice things about having a slightly bigger age gap, particularly for your DD. My older brother was 4 when our little brother was born and the day he came home from the hospital is my oldest brothers first proper memory, he loved having a little brother and being old enough to help and be a role model. And my younger brother liked the time he had at home with my mum while my older brother and I were at school; having a larger age gap would mean that you can enjoy lots of 1:1 time with your younger LO.
I hope that you get your rainbow baby soon though

 

[RoseArcana]

No advice but so sorry about your losses. I hope you get no.2 when you are ready xx

 

[Plex]

Hiya munchkin - I'm sorry for your losses hun I have a lb who's 2yrs 8 months and we've been trying since Nov 2011 I've had 2 chemicals in that time. I also wanted a smaller age gap than I'll get now and can totally relate to trying not to spend his toddler years preoccupied with ttc. Xx

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks Eleanor and rosearcana xx

Plex I think I just expected it to be easy to get that 'perfect' 2 year age gap. It doesn't seem to take us too long to conceive, 2 cycles with my dd, 5 with the mmc and 3 with my last baby. It also looks like the losses aren't related, just awful luck. There were 6 couples in my antenatal group and they've all got pregnant again at the drop of a hat and the last lady is due number 2 the same time Rowan was due. None have had losses, we just seem to get all the god awful luck!

When it was a few months I didn't mind being preoccupied but I'm just so scared of all my dds toddler years being overshadowed by my urge to have another! X

 

[Munchkin30]

Sorry plex does that mean you've been ttc since your son was 4/5 months? X

 

[katestar53]

I'm sorry for you losses Losing your little girl at 21 weeks must if been so hard! I can't begin to imagine how awful it was, big hugs.

We are also trying for number 2 since September last year. I had a MC at Christmas & my mum sadly passed away two weeks later. I then got pregnant a few weeks ago but it was a chemical! I am devastated but am hoping to get pregnant again soon!

I've been refered to a fertility specialist now as I also had a MC before Harvey was born. The NHS will do tests if you had three or more MC. I'm sure it's just bad luck but maybe my hormones have been knocked out of sync since having my little boy?

Here is hoping we all get our BFPs soon xxx

 

[katestar53]

I'm sorry for you losses Losing your little girl at 21 weeks must if been so hard! I can't begin to imagine how awful it was, big hugs.

We are also trying for number 2 since September last year. I had a MC at Christmas & my mum sadly passed away two weeks later. I then got pregnant a few weeks ago but it was a chemical! I am devastated but am hoping to get pregnant again soon!

I've been refered to a fertility specialist now as I also had a MC before Harvey was born. The NHS will do tests if you had three or more MC. I'm sure it's just bad luck but maybe my hormones have been knocked out of sync since having my little boy?

Here is hoping we all get our BFPs soon

Xxx

 

[katestar53]

Sorry for the duplicate posting, damn iphone!

 

[Munchkin30]

Sorry katestar for your losses. And the loss of your mum. My mum died when I was about 24 and it was devastating at the time. Time does heal though and I can genuinely just feel fondly for her and I know longer feel angry or devastated.
I'm glad you will get a fertility specialist, it's so easy to feel totally ignored until you've had too many losses. We'll be referred to a specialist fetal medicine department next time after the heart defect and it makes me feel better knowing we'll be looked after a bit. After my mmc at 12 weeks I had to really fight for the 8 week scan in my last pregnancy. Next time I'm going to cause loads of trouble and be a total pain in the a**e!!

 

[xcharx]

sorry for your loss
ive been of depo since aug 12 so ntnp since then. now we are ttc and nothing yet! like you i wanted a smaller age gap but nope its not happening

baby dust to you

 

[MrsPear]

I'm so sorry for your loss. X

 

[Munchkin30]

Thank you xcharx and mrs pear. It sometimes just feels like everyone else just pops healthy baby's out like shelling peas but I know many others have hard journeys xx

 

[Chris77]

Sorry for your loss hun.

We're struggling with #2 as well. We did IVF for baby #2 and got pregnant but lost him at 8 weeks. He had a very strong heartbeat from 5 weeks on but passed at 7 +4 and found out on my 8 week u/s. Financially, we just can't afford fertility treatments this year. I'm hoping it'll happen naturally but DH and I have been having unprotected sex for almost 7 years and nothing has happened, so that possibility is looking unlikely.

We really want another child (I've always wanted 3) so we'll see where we are financially in the Fall at the earliest. But time isn't exactly on my side (I'm 36) so we'll see.

 

[Munchkin30]

Oh Chris that's rubbish. I really do wish you all the miracles in the world! IVF is so ridiculously expensive too xx

 

[Foogirl]

oh yes. Our two year age gap is now a 5 year age gap. Falling pregnant the first time was easy the first time. Staying that way was the hard part with 3 miscarriages and a preemie birth. I worry that this is my body telling me it ain't to be. Plus I've just hit forty!

On the other hand I tell myself my body is just making sure it only grows a sticky bean and if it is gonna happen it will happen. Age gaps aren't all that. My sister and I are really close at 13 months gap but so is my mum with her sister at 9 years apart. Its all about how they are raised.

 

[izzlesnizzle]

We wanted to ttc last month but some routine bloods have thrown up issues I need to get sorted before we can ttc again. Plus the fact ive got to have surgery and don't know how long that's all going to take to wait for it then the recovery but as im severely anaemic I need to get that sorted out first as they wont operate on me at the moment until that's sorted and ive heard that can take months so we've got a bit of a wait before we can start again. So annoying as we had decided feb would be the time we'd start so we'd have a 2.5- 3 yr age gap but my body is in no fit state to be pregnant at the moment so if it does ever happen theres going to be more of an age gap than we really wanted.

 

[binxyboo]

We have been trying for number 2 since our son turned 2 years old.
He will be 4 in June!!
I'm beginning to think he was meant to be an only child

I'm sorry for your losses xxx

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks ladies. Nice to know I'm not alone! My midwife came over today and sge said by her reckoning I've got another 15 years of baby making in me!! Surely that's got to be long enough to get me another baby!

Do you ladies feel like you use loads of mental energy ttc and aren't enjoying your toddlers as much as you should? What do you do to help that? Are you fed up of seeing everybody else popping babies out left right and centre? X

 

[katestar53]

You can have a football team in 15 years! Lol!!!

My quest to conceive number two is all I think about at the moment... It's definitely not healthy! I always said I'd be less stressed this time round but if anything I'm more stressed & emotional about it all! I do spent a lot of time on B&B when I should be playing with Harvey so I'm trying to cut down!

Do you track your ovulation? I use the Clearblue Fertility Monitor so my cycles are all out of sync since the MC & chemical! But hoping to OV in the next week or so x