spunky84
TTC #4
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2012
- Messages
- 2,636
- Reaction score
- 2
With my first, I know I had some ppd. I didn't realize it until shortly after her first birthday when I started feeling better.
With my second, ppd kicked in around 2 weeks postpartum. At first I thought it was from being tired and worrying about getting back to school and worrying about his reflux. I finally realized it was likely ppd, especially as it was continuing to get worse and started feeling more and more out of control. I had a lot of rage, irritability, and would just fly off the handle over the littlest things. It was mostly geared towards my husband mostly and some with my mom. Even thoughts of thinking everyone would be better off without me.
I stared meds 8 weeks pp, but it was still really bad until his first birthday when I got on a good combination of meds and ppd started fading (the 1 year mark seems to be the changing point for some reason).
With this one I wasn't sure what to expect. I was already on 40 mg of Prozac, so I was going this would be ok.
My daughter was transferred to NICU a little over 24 hours old and was in for a week. After I was discharged it was a lot of back and forth and still trying to recover from the c section. But I was pretty distracted with everything.
I've noticed feeling more anxious since we brought her home, but considered it normal with her nicu stay. I'm a little over 2 weeks pp now and am starting to think it's ppa.
I am starting to notice a little bit of rage and irritable feelings starting yesterday over very small things (which hits home with how I was after my second).
I've noticed feeling more and more anxious. To the point that one thought can start to put me in a panic attack.
I don't want to be home. I've had two long days at the store with baby, taking my time, walking slowly and looking at every little thing longer than need be so I don't have to go home. When I'm home I feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin. Being out driving or at a store seems to distract me from anxiety, but then going into a panic about what I'm buying.
Yesterday I was so indecisive of it was a good or bad thing to be buying something (which really didn't warrant the anxiety over it). I kept asking my mom if it was a good or bad idea, if I was making a bad parenting choice, and was so worried about what she was thinking of me. It was to the point that i explained my reasoning over and over to justify my decision, trying to make me feel better about it, and trying to justify it to my mom and have her tell me that it was ok (it was a discounted cake..).
Also I've been really cleaning a lot. I never really allowed myself to recover from my section and was constantly going. Even after baby was home, I've been going on cleaning and organizing jags (which isn't like me lol). I don't want to sit. I want to be up and cleaning or doing something. It distracts me from my thoughts. When I'm not, I'm thinking and it feels like a panic attack is about to come on, and if I think the wrong thing... I was freaking out and panicking over calling HR to let them know the date my OB cleared me for so we can get everything going (new job).
I only sleep when I can't keep my eyes open. Otherwise I don't want to sleep. Right now I'm absolutely exhausted. I should nap. I know I should as i have the opportunity when baby does, but i can't. All I can think about is cleaning the kitchen, but feeling too good to do it and then getting anxious about not getting it done.
I have a med appt next Tuesday, but I'm anxious at the thought of trying to get through the next few days. I'm afraid of running out of things to do. I'm afraid I'd being left alone (which had nothing to do with being alone with baby and the kids). It's just being alone makes it too easy to think and get sucked in more.
Not sure i have a point to this other than to get it out since i feel like i can't talk to my husband or mom about it.
With my second, ppd kicked in around 2 weeks postpartum. At first I thought it was from being tired and worrying about getting back to school and worrying about his reflux. I finally realized it was likely ppd, especially as it was continuing to get worse and started feeling more and more out of control. I had a lot of rage, irritability, and would just fly off the handle over the littlest things. It was mostly geared towards my husband mostly and some with my mom. Even thoughts of thinking everyone would be better off without me.
I stared meds 8 weeks pp, but it was still really bad until his first birthday when I got on a good combination of meds and ppd started fading (the 1 year mark seems to be the changing point for some reason).
With this one I wasn't sure what to expect. I was already on 40 mg of Prozac, so I was going this would be ok.
My daughter was transferred to NICU a little over 24 hours old and was in for a week. After I was discharged it was a lot of back and forth and still trying to recover from the c section. But I was pretty distracted with everything.
I've noticed feeling more anxious since we brought her home, but considered it normal with her nicu stay. I'm a little over 2 weeks pp now and am starting to think it's ppa.
I am starting to notice a little bit of rage and irritable feelings starting yesterday over very small things (which hits home with how I was after my second).
I've noticed feeling more and more anxious. To the point that one thought can start to put me in a panic attack.
I don't want to be home. I've had two long days at the store with baby, taking my time, walking slowly and looking at every little thing longer than need be so I don't have to go home. When I'm home I feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin. Being out driving or at a store seems to distract me from anxiety, but then going into a panic about what I'm buying.
Yesterday I was so indecisive of it was a good or bad thing to be buying something (which really didn't warrant the anxiety over it). I kept asking my mom if it was a good or bad idea, if I was making a bad parenting choice, and was so worried about what she was thinking of me. It was to the point that i explained my reasoning over and over to justify my decision, trying to make me feel better about it, and trying to justify it to my mom and have her tell me that it was ok (it was a discounted cake..).
Also I've been really cleaning a lot. I never really allowed myself to recover from my section and was constantly going. Even after baby was home, I've been going on cleaning and organizing jags (which isn't like me lol). I don't want to sit. I want to be up and cleaning or doing something. It distracts me from my thoughts. When I'm not, I'm thinking and it feels like a panic attack is about to come on, and if I think the wrong thing... I was freaking out and panicking over calling HR to let them know the date my OB cleared me for so we can get everything going (new job).
I only sleep when I can't keep my eyes open. Otherwise I don't want to sleep. Right now I'm absolutely exhausted. I should nap. I know I should as i have the opportunity when baby does, but i can't. All I can think about is cleaning the kitchen, but feeling too good to do it and then getting anxious about not getting it done.
I have a med appt next Tuesday, but I'm anxious at the thought of trying to get through the next few days. I'm afraid of running out of things to do. I'm afraid I'd being left alone (which had nothing to do with being alone with baby and the kids). It's just being alone makes it too easy to think and get sucked in more.
Not sure i have a point to this other than to get it out since i feel like i can't talk to my husband or mom about it.
