Anyone thinking about WTT for #3 (or more)??

[Melissa0813]

Hello all! Looking for anyone else that might be WTT for #3 (+). I had always thought I'd stop at #2 but now I'm not sure. DH & I have 2 daughters (5 years and 10mos). Now I feel like I want to have one more and have a little bit bigger of a family.

Sometimes I feel like I'm totally for it and ready but then other days I think maybe we should be done at 2...

Thoughts? Anyone else with the same?

 

[Eleanor ace]

Meee!! We are WTT for number 3, we will probably start trying around Christmas (althouh I'm half hoping that DH will say "lt's go for it" in a couple of months). I was desperate for him to agree to a 3rd and he was pretty set on 2. Now that he has (pretty much) ok'ed a 3rd I am second guessing myself- wondering whether we will stretch ourselves too far, whether it will disrupt the family balance etc . I know it is just nerves though, I've always wanted 3 and am one of 3 myself which I very much enjoyed so I know (hope!) it will be OK .

 

[Melissa0813]

Eleanor, thanks for your reply! That's kind of how we are...DH isn't sure if he wants anymore yet either. We were pretty sure we always wanted 2 but I just have this nagging feeling that I want another, and to have a bigger family. But then the other side of me says the same things you mentioned...will the family be disrupted, is 3 too many, etc. etc. I came from a 2 sibling family so 3 seems like a lot and everything seems to be geared more towards a 4 person family but I can't help the feeling that we're not done yet

 

[tverb84]

Right now I want two or three. Maybe I'll change my mind after I start having children.

 

[Pearls18]

We have 2 boys aged 3 and 6 months so early days but I can't decide whether I want 3 or not. Hubby is adamant he doesn't, so I need to give him time as I know we're still in the baby phase, I think I could win him over if I promised him a new car my main concerns are the fact I want to remain working but we live away from family and just generally our quality of life, not just financially but how much more knackering 3 kids will be and how it'll work logistically!! I've said that the latest I will consider pregnancy is January 2016, I want to be out of the baby stage by the time we're 30 as we started young and don't want to spend our 20s and 30s in the baby stage lol. If they came out at 5 I would be all for it!!

Having 2 was easy, I always knew I wanted children and wouldn't want my eldest to be an only child, but having 3 feels like a massive scary decision, and while people say you don't regret the children you will have I don't think that would comfort me if it really did make our life go tits up lol, especially as I know I would be convincing DH and I would hate to do anything to change our relationship.

 

[ttc bubby no2]

I'm still not sure about 3 even though I set up a ticker to when we will TTC if we do go for number 3!
I worry that we will be going backwards by having a 3rd as we have to go all the way back to the baby stage. If we have another it will be a more than 4 year gap so I don't know if that is too much.
We too never felt like having 1 or 2 was a big decision as it was always the plan. Having a #3 would be a detour from the plan!

 

[Melissa0813]

Marine & TTC, you guys have my thoughts exactly! DH isn't sure he wants anymore either so if I were to convince him or get him on board and then things just went terribly, I would feel like it was all my fault.

I've always kind of had 2 as a magic number so my changing the plan, as you said, I think that's the scary thing...So much to think about!! I have lots of reasons that we should stop at 2 but then I feel sad thinking of not having any more

 

[Ganton]

I feel the same as you all too. I'm the one that wants 3 more than DH, so if we struggle with 3 kids I'd feel really guilty and I worry that DH would resent me for pushing him into a decision. Now that DH has agreed that we probably will have 3, I'm the I've that keeps thinking about the potential problems.

I also agree that deciding to have the second was the easiest decision, as I knew we didn't want to have an only child and that we wanted then close together. The timing of having out first took a bit of thought, but having a third (or not) is the biggest decision of all.

Eleanor Ace, the gap between your first 2 is very similar to mine, but I see that you're heading for a slightly bigger gap this time (maybe 2.5 years plus). I'm also wondering whether to have a slightly larger gap or whether to just go for under 2 years again so that the baby years don't go on for as long. Another tough decision!

 

[Eleanor ace]

I feel the same as you all too. I'm the one that wants 3 more than DH, so if we struggle with 3 kids I'd feel really guilty and I worry that DH would resent me for pushing him into a decision. Now that DH has agreed that we probably will have 3, I'm the I've that keeps thinking about the potential problems.

I also agree that deciding to have the second was the easiest decision, as I knew we didn't want to have an only child and that we wanted then close together. The timing of having out first took a bit of thought, but having a third (or not) is the biggest decision of all.

Eleanor Ace, the gap between your first 2 is very similar to mine, but I see that you're heading for a slightly bigger gap this time (maybe 2.5 years plus). I'm also wondering whether to have a slightly larger gap or whether to just go for under 2 years again so that the baby years don't go on for as long. Another tough decision!

I would have gone for a similar gap again but DH is quite set on a 2.5 year gap (although he goes back and forth on whether he wants another ). I'd like a 3 year age gap, just to make it easier with working and not having 3 kids at home to work around (I work from home and it is quite tricky with 2 toddlers. If we went for a 3 year age gap between DD and number 3 DD would be in nursery by the time my mat leave finished which would be very handy!) but I don't want too big a gap between DS and number 3, so I'd go for smaller if DH said yes- indecisive much .

 

[wishuwerehere]

I'm on this fence too, although dh and i are currently leaning towards yes to a 3rd child so at least we're on the same page! I don't want more than a 3 year gap so latest we'd try is early 2016 i guess. Still got a while to change our minds!

 

[Ganton]

I'm the same, I sway between wanting another 20 ish month gap and a much bigger gap. At first, I found the small gap pretty tough, and convinced myself that it would be much easier if DS1 was just a bit older and could speak and help more. 4 months in though, and things are really settling down and I can start to see them interacting which makes the small gap seem lovely. I still wonder though whether a gap of 2.5-3 years would be good though so that I get a bit more time with these 2 before I put myself through pregnancy again (I've had good pregnancies but found it tough being heavily pregnant with a toddler) and also to give me a bit more alone time with the new baby as DS2 would get some free hours at nursery after he turns 3. DH is definitely keen on the shorter gap, but I'm about as decisive as you, Eleanor Ace.

 

[Ganton]

Oh, I like having spring /early summer babies too, so maybe just around 2 years would be good?!?

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

So much can change, especially your feelings on the matter! We had two boys, eldest was 3 when second was born, OH was totally done and wanted to stick at 2 children, then it was a huge shock to find out i was pregnant we number 3 with only and 18month age gap between the two youngest, so Jackson was very young when we found out i was pregnant. Youngest was born and altthough he is the absolute apple of his daddys eye, OH was adamant he did not want anymore, so he went for a vasectomy only aged 22! I was sad but thought it was probably for the best, anyway we have since changed our minds and have just paid a fortune for my hubby to have it reversed and are waiting to start trying for our 4th later this month! x

 

[Amy2701]

We're currently discussing #3. Our children are 30 months and 17 months old. We always said we'd have 3, and our plan is actually to start TTC in September this year. The closer it gets, the more I worry that we should just stop at 2. Our kids are are still very young, but I'm 27 and my DH is 32, and I've always said I don't want any children after I'm 30. I go back and forth between my decisions every day, and DH has his mind set on #3.. I guess I'm just scared to ruin the good set up we already have.

 

[Melissa0813]

Amy,

I go back and fourth every day too...some days I'm totally set and convinced I want 3 and other days I think NO WAY! #1 and #2 were such easy decisions...why is this one so difficult??!

A couple guys I work with that are older and each have 2 children that are out of the house have both said that looking back they wish they would have had one more...something I keep coming back to in thought...

 

[Xuxa]

We are WTT for our fifth Always said we wanted 5, now we have even spoken about a sixth...

Crazy, i know...but we LOVE the thought of a big family. xx

 

[Amy2701]

Amy,

I go back and fourth every day too...some days I'm totally set and convinced I want 3 and other days I think NO WAY! #1 and #2 were such easy decisions...why is this one so difficult??!

A couple guys I work with that are older and each have 2 children that are out of the house have both said that looking back they wish they would have had one more...something I keep coming back to in thought...

That's exactly my thoughts. There were no doubts at all when TTC #1 and #2, but this decision is really difficult.

I also think that, because it will more than likely be our last, I want to put it off as long as I can. I love being pregnant, and I want to really enjoy my last pregnancy.. I'm thinking of suggesting we wait until the end of this year then start TTC.

 

[Mummy1506]

Same boat here! Plan changes everyday a few months ago was planning on TTC from this month but a job came up & that's made us have a rethink it really is hard with a third if it would upset our balance but deep down we would both love 1 more!

Xx

 

[Ganton]

I also think that, because it will more than likely be our last, I want to put it off as long as I can. I love being pregnant, and I want to really enjoy my last pregnancy.

I also feel exactly like this. I really don't want to rush into what will almost certainly be my lady pregnancy.

 

[littlesteph]

I have 2 boys, 16 months and 4 months.
hubby says no more one minute and the next maybe another.
if we do have any more we wouldn't start trying again for another 2 years or so.