Anyone waiting on OH?

[Phantom]

I'm wondering if there's anyone I can talk with about this. My OH is almost 26 but something is keeping him back. He is partly ready for sure because he's always making comments about our future baby. But whenever it comes to the BD he's stuck in the protection mode. I'm not sure how to talk to him about this because it's so emotional for me that I usually end up in tears.

 

[StarlitHome]

Knowing my own guy, I'm betting your OH is worried about something - your finacial stability, your living situation, his own health perhaps.

My advice would be to just ask him, outright. "When can we start trying?"

That's what I did - and we'll be trying in November

Good luck, honey.

 

[Essie]

I am waiting for my OH. He kept saying he wasn't ready, and throwing around small reasons. In the end, after advice from here, I sat down and point blank asked him what he was waiting for, and what he wanted to do.

So now we haven't got a firm date to start trying, but I do know why he wants to wait a bit longer, and I know where his head is.

 

[wtt :)]

yup, except i did what starlit suggested and we now have a TTC date set!

 

[dizzydoll]

hey phantom! yep i'm waiting on oh!
we have had many conversations about it but still no closer to knowing where i stand!
we are financially stable,live in a family friendly house and he really wants kids.....he has no idea what's making him want to wait!

 

[Phantom]

hey phantom! yep i'm waiting on oh!
we have had many conversations about it but still no closer to knowing where i stand!
we are financially stable,live in a family friendly house and he really wants kids.....he has no idea what's making him want to wait!

This is a lot like our situation! We just moved into a 3 bedroom home and we are always talking about how great it would be to have our own little one. He is even starting a new teaching job soon. I really don't know what's keeping him.

I was thinking of making a pro and con sheet for us to fill out. What do you think of that idea? Or is that dumb?

 

[StarlitHome]

I was thinking of making a pro and con sheet for us to fill out. What do you think of that idea? Or is that dumb?

It might be a good idea.

And I'm also still advocating the point-blank question

 

[Honeypot]

hey phantom! yep i'm waiting on oh!
we have had many conversations about it but still no closer to knowing where i stand!
we are financially stable,live in a family friendly house and he really wants kids.....he has no idea what's making him want to wait!

This is a lot like our situation! We just moved into a 3 bedroom home and we are always talking about how great it would be to have our own little one. He is even starting a new teaching job soon. I really don't know what's keeping him.

I was thinking of making a pro and con sheet for us to fill out. What do you think of that idea? Or is that dumb?

My husband wanted to wait five more years to have a baby, we were 22 or 23 at the time. I told him that wasn't gonna fly, lol. I made a Pro and Con sheet and if your OH is worried about money wise (like mine was), make a financial sheet too. He may see that you guys can start trying a lot sooner than he is wanting to.

 

[Apey]

My OH is also almost 26 and talks about having a baby, but I can tell he is not quite ready yet to actually have one. Sometimes men say what we want to hear but then chicken out on going through with it. I talk to my OH about his feelings about having a baby and ask him if he is genuinely ready. A good test is to babysit and have him actively participate in taking care of the kids. Then you can see what his feelings are about having his own kids. It will work out-don't worry. 26 yrs old is still young!

 

[dizzydoll]

The pro con list could be a great idea. I know we've talked about the pros and cons of TTC now but seeing them on paper may help.
I might make a start on one today and get him to do one from his point of view and then do one together.
I love lists lol : )

 

[wtt :)]

the pro/con list may work, yes but what if you and OH have different opinions on what actually is Pro and what is more Con?