AP older children

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by petal040, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. petal040

    petal040 Guest

    This might sound weird, lol... but I'm curious to hear from anyone who has older children, say school age and older, who were attachment parented (or partially attachment parented - even if it wasn't deliberate lol)...

    What are they like now?

    My style seems to be more on the AP side of things. Sometimes I hear so many people telling me that most of what I am doing is wrong and that it will cause problems later etc etc.

    I was just wondering what others experiences have been. Did it cause problems? How are your children getting on now?

    Thanks :flower:
     
  2. GersPrincess

    GersPrincess Mummy of 3, soon to be 4!

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    Hi,

    at the time, I didnt realise I was doing partial AP, as I'd never heard of it, but looking back on it, I definately did lean more towards AP style with my older 2, and I am doing it again now!!

    For me, I breasfted, co-slept, used the sling a lot, and more often than not let the kids nap on me during the day, especially after they fell asleep during a feed. I never consciously put them in a routine, but just let them find their own natural routine. I weaned them when they told me they were ready, rather than waiting to a specific age and doing it, and always let the taste what I was eating, let them come in the bath with me, had them in the kitchen whilst I was cooking etc. We were practically never seperated!!

    The only negatives I experienced were;

    with my older child (a boy) he was hard to get into his own bed at night when he got to 18 months without me lying next to him until he fell asleep. I combatted this by moving an inch further away from him a night until he learnt to go to sleep with me sitting the other side of his bedroom door, then he just got used to it. That controlled crying thing isnt a option for me, I cant bear to hear my kids cry!!
    However, I didnt have this problem with my second baby (girl) she was happy to self settle from very early on.

    When they went to nursery when I had to go back to work when they were coming up for 2 & 3, it was hard to leave them, but they settled after 5 mins, whereas I felt guilty all day!!

    The positives for me are more than worth it though.
    My older 2 are now coming up for 8 & 9, and are both so full of confidence, happy, well adjusted.. We have an amazingly close relationship where they will both tell me anything and we will talk about anything. Which I hope will bode well for the teenage years.

    They have so many friends at school and are adored by children and teachers alike, and are both excelling in every subject. They both have a cracking sense of humour, and although can be sarcastic, are just hysterical!

    They have no issues with food and will eat anything.. its always amusing watching waiter's faces when my daughter orders something like tiger prawn and crab risotto rather than chicken nuggets and chips! (i'm not suggesting there is anything wrong with kids meals, but they can be a bit boring, so if they want to eat something from the adult menu, I let them!)

    Oh, and the bestest thing, when I pick them up from school, they come running out the classroom, fly into my arms and give me the most amazing hugs and kisses! They are forever telling me how much they love me, and their fave time of day is "snuggle time" (after bath and story time, I spend half an hour with each of them, where I get into bed with them, let them talk about whatever they like and give them millions of snuggly cuddles and kisses)

    So, in my opinion and experience, I wouldnt have it any other way. If you are happy with your style of parenting then stick with it! I dont agree with the controlled crying technique, but I wouldnt tell anyone not to do it, what is right for one family is not necessarily right for another xx
     
  3. petal040

    petal040 Guest

    Wow good for you guys :D

    Thanks for replying :) It's nice to hear other people's stories and experiences.
     
  4. bjl1981

    bjl1981 Well-Known Member

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    Wow Gersprincess!
    I really hope my LO turns out like this :)
    I don't think AP has a negative effect. Surely loving and being close to your children can only be good? I don't actually follow the AP method, although I do carry my LO sometimes, and he sometimes comes into bed with us, but thats all, however I think it's great if thats what you want to do :)
     
  5. mumtosam

    mumtosam Well-Known Member

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    Can I be stupid and ask what attachment parenting is?
     
  6. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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    I didnt delibritly do it with my son but it ended up that way lol.

    I have never had any problems really, he has sometimes been a bit clingy, starting school etc but no more than any other child. (he is 5 now) He is not a shy child though and mixes well with both children and adults. We do have an amazing bond and I think it is down to the sheer fact we were probably never apart!

    To be honest I like looking back and I dont regret a second I spent with my boy :)
     

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