Are you a control freak about your baby?

[IrelandsOwn]

I think I am. I find it hard to accept help from my husband. It takes a lot of work to get our daughter to sleep (walking and rocking) and I'm very impatient so I get frustrated. But I still can't let my husband do it even though he offers all the time. I just feel that I'm better at it and if he's doing it I will be twice as stressed. Can anyone else relate?

 

[BellaBoo0512]

Yep I am the same!

 

[IrelandsOwn]

Yep I am the same!

Glad I'm not alone! But I hate myself for it. The only way he will get better at it is if he practice's, right?

 

[kettle28]

Same here! Dh away mon-fri so I do the bulk, should hand over at weekend but its hard to let go then!

 

[RKW]

Yep I'm a total control freak. I record everything about my baby on my iPhone app. I record every sleep, feed and poop to times and quantities!

 

[polaris]

Yes I'm totally like this. Still, with my second baby. Although I am better this time round than I was with my first. I think one of the hardest things about being a mother for me is that there is so much that is totally out of your control, so I respond by trying to control everything that I possibly can. Definitely guilty of not wanting anyone else to help because they will "do it wrong". I can be a bit like this with housework too though, I tend to restack the dishwasher and rehang the clothes on the line after OH has done it. Needless to say this doesn't encourage him to help out more. But I'm not being totally irrational, my way IS actually better - and also if you're the one doing the majority of the childcare then you are usually left picking up the pieces (e.g. trying to get totally overtired baby to sleep) after others try to help out.

 

[Katerpillar]

Absolutely! I am trying my best to be a bit more relaxed and let my OH help a bit more....I know that he needs that special time too but I also know when she needs to sleep and how to help her get there! Left to his own devices she would be up for most of the day and an overtired mess by bedtime. This has happened before and we have discussed it but he thinks I'm being 'too strict' and to 'stop stressing out' . Don't get me wrong, he does still spend special Daddy/Daughter time with her but I guide them in the right direction (bed) when necessary

I have never been a control freak about anything in my life, ever! But sine LO came along I have been unable to stop. Sometimes it is a little bit too much - I know this - but can't seem to relax at all - I worry about her far too much!

 

[Katerpillar]

yes i'm totally like this. Still, with my second baby. Although i am better this time round than i was with my first. I think one of the hardest things about being a mother for me is that there is so much that is totally out of your control, so i respond by trying to control everything that i possibly can. Definitely guilty of not wanting anyone else to help because they will "do it wrong". I can be a bit like this with housework too though, i tend to restack the dishwasher and rehang the clothes on the line after oh has done it. Needless to say this doesn't encourage him to help out more. But i'm not being totally irrational, my way is actually better - and also if you're the one doing the majority of the childcare then you are usually left picking up the pieces (e.g. Trying to get totally overtired baby to sleep) after others try to help out.

wss

 

[wifey29]

I find it hard to let DH do things. Every thing takes so much longer when he does it. I have always done the bulk of the childcare, DH is really only wants to do the playing and fun bits and can get a bit impatient when LO won't lay still for a nappy change, won't sleep straight away etc. I just find it easier to get on with it tbh.

 

[Kirsty1003]

Oh god, yeah completely! Isabelle wakes like every half hour from 8 till 11...oh always offers to go but I know it will annoy me listening to him try even though it really frustrates me doing it myself! Time to let go a bit I think x

 

[Randianne]

Guilty!

Since I couldn't care for LO by myself when she was first born (I couldn't walk because of a birth injury), I have become a complete control freak now. Even if I ask OH to do something, I end up checking on him or taking it over. In all fairness, he's not very confident and usually needs the help. I need to let him do things on his own so he can gain confidence, but it drives me crazy.

 

[Fergie]

I wouldn't say i'm a control freak, but ... i won't allow anyone else to change jnr's nappy . He's nearly finished his ponsetti treatment and if anyone dares pull on his casts or that i swear i'll kill them . My mum has done it twice and both times she nearly pulled the cast clean off his leg. She wouldn't listen and knackered his treatment for a week .

 

[Twister]

I was a lot worse when she was a newborn, bit better now though I still have my moments.

ETA: I always encouraged him to change nappies, bathe her and get her dressed etc from the but I was always the one who fed her (obviously), put her to sleep and would hold her whilst she napped and stuff like that

 

[AdriansMama]

Im BAD ... I exclusively breastfeed no pumping no bottles so im the only one that feeds Jax ... im also the only one that does his bath , changes his diaper , puts him to sleep ....but it gets even worse lol DH is lucky of he gets to hold Jax for an hour a day.... I would really like to be able to let go a little but he was 5 weeks early and until recently I felt like I needed him with me, touching me 24/7 brcause he should have still been inside me ... im sure that sounds ridiculous im way too clingy I wasnt even this bad with our first!

 

[onetwothreebp]

I'm not.

I suggest you let him do some things, it's so important for men to be hands on with babies. My OH said he didn't really bond with our son until he was able to care for him.

The worst is when some women refuse to let their husbands do anything and then bitch that their men never help out. Umm... you trained them to be that way!!! (Not saying this is you!)

 

[MetalMaiden]

i am like this to.. i EBF & DF does a couple diapers a day and will hold her here and there, it gets better for him the more she interacts in general... he does housework (houseworks binges ill say... he was great this weekend passed but prolly wont do much again for a bit ) and i am not possessive around DF but around other ppl I am... around my MIL too.. she peeves me off handing her around to ppl i dislike (we never see her tho and almost no one else holds her where we live cuz i only have a couple friends) so when i do go home to visit, I find it really hard to deal with when LO isn't in my arms, especially when she's crying... i want to swoop in an grab her but i'll get comments like "oh she's gotta get used to to different ppl" and they do their bounce they do or whatever while she screams but she's a mommy's girl.. she won't even settle for DF when she's upset (and i make him try). mommy knows best!

 

[Jendra]

Mmm... no, not me. I love when my husband does stuff. He handles bath time and if he's home, he's the one changing diapers. He also puts buddypants to bed. I combi feed, so I can leave for a few hours at a time, which I do once a week, leaving him to take care of the baby himself. It's really built his confidence and his competence. And that makes my life tons easier and it's good for our marriage.

Actually, when he was born, I didn't change a diaper until about a week or so. My husband was giving me pointers. Of course I'm an old hand at it now, but DH doesn't blink an eye when he's gotta handle the poopy ones.

 

[Ceejay123]

My other half is around 24/7, yet I do everything myself. It's not through lack of trying, I mean.. Daddy does play with Riley constantly. I wake him up, I change most of his nappies, make his meals, arrange his day and put him down for sleep. My other half can and has done it all before, I just prefer to.

He gets annoyed at me for it, but he does enjoy the 'daddy play time' he gets all day every day lol.

 

[randomrach]

Yep I'm a total control freak. I record everything about my baby on my iPhone app. I record every sleep, feed and poop to times and quantities!

Because you said this I just downloaded an app. What a bad influence you are! :O

 

[cupcaker]

Yes I am. I like to control most things about him because then I know it will be done 'properly'. I see this is insulting to any other family members though! The fact family members (his grandparents, and great grandparents even) have raised kids themselves more than once or twice over, and are therefore more experienced than me, offers me no reassurance somehow, however much I try to chill over it. (Although I have been a teacher for five years and am experienced in that Im with kids all the time). It's something I hope I will get over and will have to, as when I return to work family are looking after him for four days in the week. I'm not ashamed though, it is surely a natural and healthy instinct to want to love and protect them, and as the actual mother who birthed them, its a responsibility reaction. My OH I generally trust overall but he can be inconsistent. Last night i fell asleep on the sofa and OH took baby to bed and i was already getting tetchy on how and when he had done it!! X