"Are you going to keep trying for a girl?"

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by george83, Apr 19, 2014.

  1. george83

    george83 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2011
    Messages:
    5,641
    Likes Received:
    7
    So after going shopping for a sun hat for my little boy today and going through my usual disappointment of looking at all the beautiful girls clothes that I won't get to buy, a lady in the shop asked me and my oh if we were going to keep trying for a girl, it made my heart sink so much. I love both my boys and I'd hate for them to think they weren't wanted but her comment made me so sad, if only it was that simple
     
  2. Misscalais

    Misscalais Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2012
    Messages:
    7,488
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had the same comments after DS2. I was shopping for DS3 ( due next mth ) with my two boys the other day I'm clearly very pregnant lol and the lady at the counter was like when are you due and I said next month and she's like do you know what you're having and I said yep another boy. And the look in her face was like I was some sort of freak for having 3 boys, she then said oh did you want a girl. ( yes I did want a girl, thanks for rubbing it in! ) but I said oh I wasn't really bothered as I'd had two miscarriages prior and that shut her up she then looked embarrassed and said oh that's no good, well I guess as long as they are healthy that's the main thing.
    I wanted to punch her!
    I hate that no one puts in any effort for boys clothes it really pisses me off to the point ill get the shits and go home. I've had some custom made things for this bub that are absolutely stunning, but why should I have to get things custom made for my boys they should be readily available just like the tonnes of girls things. I feel like boys are just tossed to the side and girls are the stars. It's not fair.
     
  3. Beneli

    Beneli Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2013
    Messages:
    344
    Likes Received:
    0
    I realized in retrospect that avoiding these types of comments was about 95% why I wanted a girl with my third. After two boys, it's all you hear from ppl (as if I was short ended by being given two boys!). I hated the pity look when I honestly LOVE being a mom of boys. When I found out this baby is a girl, I was so so so happy. About an hour later I ended up balling, realizing I just wanted to shut up the comments but really wanted another boy :(. This is all just so complicated isn't it? Wish people would just keep their biases to themselves!
     
  4. Jess29

    Jess29 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2014
    Messages:
    90
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't know why some people think it's ok to make comments like that. I was out with my family shortly after the birth of my fourth son and a woman came up to me and said "Were you hoping for a girl?" It made me feel so bad and I just kinda shrugged. I did want a girl. I think that's a reasonable assumption and there's no need to bring it up. People need to mind their own business.
     
  5. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2012
    Messages:
    10,218
    Likes Received:
    307
    I hate that, I get it all the time. DH just tells people no and they don't ask any more questions so I've just started saying no as well.
    I was actually told by one person that it was best to "quit while I was ahead" because obviously have no hope of ever having a girl now and it isn't worth having boy after boy to get a girl. Which while I would love a girl, I don't think any less of my boys for being boys. Its like people don't place as much value on boys. And by admitting I want a girl, I am agreeing with them that boys are not as good as girls.
    If I do admit we want more then I just say "maybe we'll have another one day, its still early days. But I won't be trying to get a girl, I love having boys"
     
  6. tinkerbelle93

    tinkerbelle93 2 little boys :)

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    4,310
    Likes Received:
    0
    I only have one but get a lot of 'oh I bet you're hoping for a girl next' 'I hope you get your girl one day' it's annoying and I make sure I never ever say anything similar to other people. If someone tells me they're having their third boy or girl then I'll say "how lovely congratulations", anything else is rude! I do seem to also find a lot of women I know or talk to see boys as second best to girls in general, even if you are having your first baby. I do enjoy clothes shopping for my boy though, the fact that it's more challenging to get nice things makes me feel even better when I manage to buy and put together cute outfits! X
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice