Argh I don't know what to do anymore!!! :(

[Abii_x]

My 6 year old daughter, Summer, has lived with my mum for alot of her life (Long story) and with my mum she wasn't made to eat anything she didn't like, also my mum cooks mostly processed food. She never put meat on her plate and made her ask for some of other peoples plates if she wanted to.
She's been living with me for the past 2 years now, and I got her out of the habits that she'd picked up there and the fussiness about food. Last year we moved back in with my mum for 4 months, then moved in with my partner around Xmas. Since then we've had sooooooooo many problems with her eating habits. She'll eat it when she can be bothered, but sometimes she just won't eat certain things and seriously chucks a temper over it.
She started getting over it, but all of a sudden she's started up her fussiness again.
A few weeks ago we had pasta in a sauce with bacon and random veg, she didn't eat it, she said she didn't like bacon. The time after that she ate it without a fuss, she just ate pasta with a bit of bacon at same time and she was fine.
Last week we had same thing and she messed about again, and she's done it again tonight.
She's been playing up soo much latley, to a certain extent I think it has something to do with Shaya, our 6 week old daughter.
Due to her being naughty she's lost all of her toys and all the nice things out of her room. She's been grounded countless times, most of the time she's had nothing in her room because of her fussiness and tempers.
I'm at the end of my tether now and have no bloody idea what I could do!!

I know that she can eat the food coz she has, but she's just been fussy. She's not eating meat at school either so isn't gettting her protine there so I'm trying to make sure she eats it at home.

Do I stick to my guns and keep trying to get her to eat it? Or do I let her get away with it?

Ps it's not just bacon it's most meats that she has to chew. She doesn't have issues with chicken.

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lisa1]

hun I am no expert but I know a lot of kids use food as a way of controlling parents

maybe the move again has unsettled her and it will take her a while to adjust and the only way she can show her frustration is by using the one thing that she knows gets your undivided attention is her playing up at meal times!

Don't get freaked out about it and try to relax she won't starve but it would seem she is having a power struggle with you.

 

[Abii_x]

I know she does it for the attention, I just don't know how to deal with it. I mean how can you ignore something, but punish for it at the same time? So confused!! x

 

[lesleyann]

my aunty had this problem, and used to just tell him, It was tough if he was hungry he should eat it if he deicded not to eat it he would be going to bed hungry no different food ect..

Next day he ate a bit of dinner then played up again and she just kept telling him he eats whats on his plate or he goes hungry and he just got better and now eats all his food

 

[Amy_T]

I wouldn't make a big issue out of it with punishments etc (unless her tempers include other things, smacking etc) but if you know she likes the food and is just trying to make a fuss then put the meal in front of her, if she doesn't eat it that's fine but she doesn't get anything else. She won't let herself starve, she'll eat it if she's hungry. And make a fuss praising her if she does eat it, if she doesn't, she doesn't get any attention.

Having said that, maybe she just genuinely doesn't like meat - I know my daughter doesn't and won't eat chicken, beef... anything really except mince beef and sausages. I don't worry though as long as she gets her nutrients from other sources and apart from that she's not a fussy eater in the slightest.

 

[ramblinhaggis]

In my house the rules are very simple. They all get given the same. They eat it or get nothing else. No shouting, no attention for it, no bribing, no wheedling. No big deal. If you are worried about her not getting the right nutrients, give her multivitamins.

 

[nikkip75]

In my house the rules are very simple. They all get given the same. They eat it or get nothing else. No shouting, no attention for it, no bribing, no wheedling. No big deal. If you are worried about her not getting the right nutrients, give her multivitamins.

We have the same rules, you dont eat it theres nothing else!

Our 4 year old loves jacket potato one day hates it then next, loves cheese one week hates it the next.
We just dont make a fuss about it, you just get yourself and them worked up into a temper and it gets you nowhere! The only meat she eats is ham and sausages and occasionally a bit of chicken.

We never make the kids clear their plates or eat something they say they dont like. like above said id give some vits and not make a big deal about it, shes probably doing it for attention, even tho its negative attention.

 

[huggybear]

Gosh I really wouldnt know what to do, but when i was young I hated meat, any kind, Sunday dinner was always a nightmare, wasnt until I was in Secondary school I actually started eating it.. Its quite common kids not liking meat.. x

 

[samsugar7]

I feel for you hun, Emily (5) does the same. We have the you have nothing else rule too but this doesnt always work as she will hapily not eat for 2 days if she doesnt get her own way.

I tried not mixing foods together which strangely worked quite well, that way she ate the bits she wanted and left those she didnt. That way the whole meal isnt ruined. She normally loves spag bol but recently refuses to eat it as all of a sudden doesnt like onion. So on her plate she had
- Pasta
- The tomato sauce
- Mince
- The fried onion/peppers

I didnt make a fuss and just told her to eat what she wanted and would get nothing else if she didnt finish the meal. Guess what she did - Yep you guessed it mixed it all together on her plate!!!!!!

Dont know if this helps at all but it might be worth a try.

Sam xx

 

[Rhiana79]

Ps it's not just bacon it's most meats that she has to chew. She doesn't have issues with chicken.

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure I saw on a parenting programme recently about a child who had the same issues. It wasn't that she didn't like the food it was a physical act of chewing and that some children are a little lazy with eating and get bored of chewing (not that I'm suggesting your daughter is lazy, just repeating what I saw)

 

[Abii_x]

Thank you everyone, and yeah she is a lazy eater, she just can't be bothered half the time. Just guna give her time now.. she eats it she eats it, if not then she don't get any pudding or anything etc.
Gosh why don't kids come with a instruction manual for stuff like this? Would be so much easier!

Or if ya best mate was SuperNanny lol!

Again thank you ladies xx xx xx xx

 

[belladonna]

with my mum she wasn't made to eat anything she didn't like

Would you eat something that you didn't like? I know that I wouldn't!

Try not to make to make an issue out of food, otherwise it will just lead on to other problems.

I would say try it, if you don't like it you don't have to eat it but theres nothing else to eat.

My OH was brought up where he had to eat everything on his plate and couldn't leave the table until he had. Now he has issues with food and problems with his weight due to it. He can not leave any leftover food- he has to eat the whole lot even if I make a meal with extra to freeze for later he will eat that. I literally have to pour washing up liquid on his food otherwise he would eat it when I'm not looking. If he cooks he will cook enough for 4 when theres 0nly 2 of us.
My cousin is the same- she was always made to eat everything and now is the other way from my OH and has buliemia(sp?) and has had it from a young age.