Argh! i wish babies came with manuals! what do u do?

[CKJ]

My lo is 3 weeks old. it is harder than i ever imagined it abd more tiring tjan words could possibly describe...but then u guys all know this!!

I hate not knowing what to do re sleep!! Some nights r good, some bad, we have a bedtime foutine to foster the habit but shes goo young and too colicky for it to have much standing right now but im desperate for sleep n a non grouchy baby.

Like now shes fast asleep...xcept shes due tje bedtime routine n a feed...do i wake her or do i leave her? Will either action help her sleep again after? Theres no way to keep her awake in the day at ghis age either or so i have found...how do those who want to instigate a routine manage it?!

Any help appreciated,
A very tired mummy

 

[shortie1990]

Hugs!

It's hard, especially when you're so tired, I've found to get more sleep I've just followed what baby wants to do, rather than try and get a routine, and just go with the flow, she wakes up at night, I pop her on the boob and she's fast asleep again, she's been brilliant.

I'd never wake her up though, but I'm not too fussed about getting a routine sorted

 

[chezziepie]

i woke sam for his feeds and his bath to get him into a routine. It does sound a little mean but with OH's work i found myself doing almost everything from 3 weeks onwards and i needed a routine to keep me sane

 

[Mrshoffie]

Three weeks is too young for a really strict routine (in my opinion)
I was very baby led and fed on demand etc. If your lo is asleep I would not wake them, but try and have a sleep yourself while you can! Don't sit up waiting for lo to wake, their needs change so quickly at that age, so could wake in 10 mins or 2 hours!

 

[bigbetty]

Hey love! I totally understand why you want to get into a routine - but I think you are finding how difficult it is at this stage. Like Shortie I've always been baby-led and Fran got herself into her own little routine. I fed her when she was hungry and let her sleep when she was tired and she got herself into a 3-4hr feeding routine pretty much from day 1.

For now I would just go with her flow, if she's asleep then don't wake her and then in a few weeks when she's awake more in the day you can start with a bedtime routine, it will be easier to do.

Sending you big hugs because I was you almost a year ago

 

[MegGriffin]

The first few weeks are really tough aren't they (hugs) it does get easier. I would suggest letting lo sleep when s/he wants to is best thing to do in the early weeks just to get through it. X

 

[Brookey]

And breathe.........haha. Seriously hunny, I feel your pain. Have totally been there.

My advice would be, roll with it. I know thats really crap and not very good advice but thats honestly all I did.

When I had Leo I was sooooooooo tired i think i spent the first 3 weeks in tears wondering how people manage it. You feel like you are the only person in the world to be finding it so hard.

All I can say is, it DOES get easier, i promise! Leo used to sleep all day and be up all night but apparently babies can distinguish between day and night which makes them all out of sorts with their sleep.

Dont bother trying to get a routine yet, shes too young and it will just stress you out more. Just try your best to sleep when she sleeps (I know its impossible), make sure you eat properly. Feed her when shes hungry and let her sleep when she wants.

In a few weeks it will all just slot into place and you will start to get into a little routine.

But one thing I will say is enjoy these early days when she just wants to cuddle and sleep on you. I wish I had made the most of those cuddly days instead of thinking "I better put him down and clean up, do the washing etc". It goes so quick and before you know it, it will be you on here giving advice to some tired new mummy!

Sorry for the essay hun, hope it helps! If you need to chat just PM me, I remember the early days and they are not fun. Good Luck!xxx

 

[Lozzy_Loo]

aww bless you
this time is really hard as when lo cries, sometimes your unsure of what they want etc...and also the sleep deprevation is a real killer!
But honestly all i can say is that ive found it gets much better...your LO will hopefully start sleeping through at 6 weeks like mine did and then you stop being a living zombie.
Now its the 4 month stage thats a killer again!

 

[lovelylaura]

Id give it a couple more weeks before getting into a routine let them sleep if you wake them who knows wen they will go back to sleep enjoy the peace for a little while x

 

[Squirmsmum]

I just started a routine but let LO decide when. So when she woke from nap is check time and if it was say 7pm I'd do bath feed bed, but if it was later I wouldn't wake her I'd just do it at 8pm or earlier 6pm. She eventually fell into her own nap routine. So now it starts between 6.30pm and 7pm but I don't worry if it's later.

 

[CKJ]

Thank u all so much...your replies actually made me tear up...its so good to hear people understand n its not just me that felt overwhelmed at this point...at the mo i am just thinking what the hell have i let myself in for!

My reason for a routine is the same as one of the previous posters, my husbands back to work n i thought itd help things, however seeing as shes colicky n her daily patterns r still varied the advice to go with the flow for a few more weeks is prob very sensible. i feel so anxious all the damn time its hard to chill out n go with it but since it worked for u guys im going to give it a go!

Thank u again, im an organisational control type of person Ella's constantly changing needs, feedsand sleeps kinda scares me! (i expected it i just didnt expect how it would affect me!)

Xxx

 

[Cupcake19]

As with most ladies that have replied, we have been baby led from day 1 and baby has got herself into a good routine from early on. I fed her on demand (never woke her if she was sleeping) and allowed her to sleep/wake when she wanted. She did suffer with colic from weeks 2-5 until we changed her on to comfort milk. She has slept through the night (9-7) from 7 weeks and is a very happy and content baby

 

[Cupcake19]

Thank u all so much...your replies actually made me tear up...its so good to hear people understand n its not just me that felt overwhelmed at this point...at the mo i am just thinking what the hell have i let myself in for!

My reason for a routine is the same as one of the previous posters, my husbands back to work n i thought itd help things, however seeing as shes colicky n her daily patterns r still varied the advice to go with the flow for a few more weeks is prob very sensible. i feel so anxious all the damn time its hard to chill out n go with it but since it worked for u guys im going to give it a go!

Thank u again, im an organisational control type of person Ella's constantly changing needs, feedsand sleeps kinda scares me! (i expected it i just didnt expect how it would affect me!)

Xxx

I am also a very organised person usually and initially wanted to get into a routine as soon as possible but I felt that this was near impossible before 8 weeks. Try not to worry too much, baby will regulate itself and soon you will be able to preempt feeding, sleeping times etc. good luck

 

[chezziepie]

Thank u all so much...your replies actually made me tear up...its so good to hear people understand n its not just me that felt overwhelmed at this point...at the mo i am just thinking what the hell have i let myself in for!

My reason for a routine is the same as one of the previous posters, my husbands back to work n i thought itd help things, however seeing as shes colicky n her daily patterns r still varied the advice to go with the flow for a few more weeks is prob very sensible. i feel so anxious all the damn time its hard to chill out n go with it but since it worked for u guys im going to give it a go!

Thank u again, im an organisational control type of person Ella's constantly changing needs, feedsand sleeps kinda scares me! (i expected it i just didnt expect how it would affect me!)

Xxx

my baby was really colicky too to the point he screamed for 3-4 hours an evening i found a bath really helped followed by a bottle or if he was screaming too much i would sit up with my knees up and have him lie upright on my legs and sway them from side to side whilst going sshhhhhhhhhhhhhh and trying to stroke his head. Got to love multi tasking lol

 

[liz1985]

Hey my LO is 3weeks on Thur an know exactly how you feel. Im so tired all the time, i spent a couple of days last weeks trying to start a routine but it just wasnt working, so at the min just following what LO wants and when he wants it, and going to try starting routine again in a few weeks x

 

[CKJ]

Liz1985 feel free to pm me, as our lo r the same age we can cyber vent n share the stress ;-) x

 

[Nickij]

I was also very shocked when I had my first baby. YOu know its going to be hard you just don't realise how hard - and some babies are more work than others. Emily is much more laid back than Jack. Not to says she isn't hard work she is, but not as hard as Jack - he used to cry ALL the Time, she just cries some of the time. He was a nightmare to get to sleep. She still cries but we get her to sleep a lot quicker (for now anyway).

3 weeks is still far to young to get into a routine. Personally the only thing I would do is wake her for feeds in the day if she has gone more than 3 hours from the last feed. This way you are encouraging her to take in more food in the day (and hopefully sleep more at night) and also get her days and nights sorted out.

But I really wouldn't worry about any sort of proper structure until she is at least 8 weeks.

 

[Casey3]

Another one with a 3-weeker and I feel your pain too!

We just go with the flow and let Caelan decide what he wants.. we never wake him up, he seems to know when to wake up and eat (he loves eating way too much haha). As of right now there are certain times of the day I can expect him to be awake/napping/eating/cranky etc. but it changes and I know it will continue to change as he grows! I BF when he wants to eat, I let him nap when he wants to nap etc. We've already had a couple growth spurt days where he eats alllllllll day long and those have been the toughest. I find the sleep the hardest part, I try to nap when he naps but I find it super depressing when I'm all psyched up for a nap and I set him down and he wakes up 3 minutes later, lol.

I'm lucky enough that I still live at home so I have lots of help, I've already thought about what it would be like if I had my own place and OH was working all day long and it's scary so I take my hat off to you.. I'm sure you're doing a great job!! Everyone says it will get easier and I believe them, so let's hope they're right! I'm crossing my fingers I'm someone who has a baby that sleeps through the night earlier rather than later (but he loves eating too much so I can't see that happening!)

And I agree, a manual would be nice! I keep saying I wish he had a little screen built in somewhere that says "This time I will be napping for X minutes" so I know whether I should lie down or just wait the 15 minutes for him to wake up!

 

[meglet_nz]

I was there two weeks ago! It's so frustrating and hard letting go of any type of control/organisation and letting baby set the pace. Once I managed this transition from super organised woman to shambolic unknown territory new mum (amid some tears) I've just let LO sleep and feed when she needs. It's definitely getting easier but I doubt there will be a routine for a couple of weeks yet x x

 

[eagermom]

to u hun... Let LO sleep the she wants to.. U can stretch feed Upto 3 hours for now. U can strangers no need to wake. No need to change nappies if just peed Coz sleep makes them develop the most