Argh!! Mixed messages!!

[MummyKP]

Men!!! DH mentioned the other day that we may start trying in the new year, but just now when I mentioned having a chat in the next week about setting a date etc, he said we aren't setting a date don't get your hopes high etc. now I'm upset, confused and a little annoyed as one day he let's off that he's really coming round to it, and often talks about babies etc, and then other times he dismisses the idea and says it's not going to happen soon! Argh!!! Anyone else have this from their DH?

 

[LynAnne]

You are not alone! You could be talking about my DH. It's so confusing not to mention upsetting. To be honest, my DH is normally in the "I'm not even entertaining the idea yet" camp but every once in a while he says something "maybe by this time next year..." He's all over the place and it's doing my head in. I'm emotional enough as it is with broodiness. I don't need his mixed messages!

 

[Autumn leaves]

My oh used to be like this badly! He's turned over a new leaf now ... So there is hope ! But in mean time is very annoying, all I can over is hugs!!

 

[Autumn leaves]

Offer even*!

 

[MummyKP]

Have you discussed a possible start date LynAnne? It's just heart wrenching!! When wanting something so much but not being able to do anything about it is hard enough as it is, but even worse when our emotions are mixed up like this all the time! I honestly thought we would start in the new year, but after his comments tonight clearly not! He normally gives into things quite easily with me, he does spoil me and normally get what I want (not in a bratty way) but he said this is the one thing he won't give in to! Urgh they're annoying on times lol

 

[LynAnne]

I told him I'd like to start in May and he was up for that and then the very next night we'd chat about setting a date in May! Not what we'd agreed. I was so confused and upset. I really want to be starting our family but he just drags his heels. I got upset at him just last night for being negative every time I mention babies. So emotional over it right now

I hope your DH comes around to the idea sooner than you think. The pain of waiting is pretty intense. I hate wanting something so much and knowing it is entirely in someone else's hands!

 

[MissN8]

Same here ladies my oh gives me mixed messages we have set a few dates and then they get changed he keeps making excuses and doesn't compromise even tho we are in our thirties and I think we are ready.

 

[Angel_blues]

Mine is ready "just not yet.... Soon"

 

[butterbaby]

My DH used to be very back and forth on when we'd try. Eventually I just sat him down and basically explained that the longing for a baby was a force of its own that I can't control and which plays with my emotions. I made him realize that it wasn't just something that I could ignore for much longer and that we needed to agree on a date so I could stop pestering him. Of course I haven't totally stopped but I don't feel the need to bring it up all the time since we have a plan in place. I encourage you all to try and be open with your OH about how you feel. It's hard to remember their mindset is totally different than ours and they forget that as well.

 

[MummyKP]

I have been quite open with DH, he knows how much I want one, and tbh I think the only reason he's holding back ATM is because he's hoping to start a new job in the new year, as ATM he's not where he wants to be. When we have our chat (possible in a weeks time - I can choose when we have it in December) I will express everything to him, although he knows the majority of it lol but the chat will be a big thing as I will tell him the pain I'm in whilst waiting! I don't know what I will do if he turns around and says summer 2015, because I can't stay in this pain any longer!!

 

[butterbaby]

Fingers crossed he is on board to try sooner! I know what you mean about the pain.. it feels like a part of me is missing and I won't be whole until I have that baby.

 

[tverb84]

It drives me nuts when people keep changing their minds or change it at the last minute. When I make up my mind I only change it if something comes up.