Arghhhhhh..... the start of tantrums at 10.5months mont

[aimee-lou]

Ok, I was hoping maybe to at least get to 1 before we got a wilful toddler but it seems Earl has other ideas.

It started about 2 days ago. He wants something, he cries. We close a door to stop him from going somewhere, he cries. We take something dangerous off him, he cries. We pick him up to get him away from teh grumpy dog, he cries. We get him out of the bath, he cries. We tell him not to touch the laptop, he cries!

Gah! I've always tried to explain an action then ignore the negative consequence but it's getting more and more difficult. I try so hard to keep it consistent but it's difficult with being here with MIL and FIL too.

Has anyone got any advice for how to deal with the early tantrums?

 

[Tacey]

I try to distract her. so if she's got something she shouldn't have, I wave something else in front of her, or ask her if I can have what she has got. She usually gives it too me without fuss, but if I took it she'd howl (look at it from their point of view, we wouldn't like it if someone took away something we were interested in!). I've found anything jingly is a good thing for Alice to get her loking the other way so
i can close doors etc. If she does cry, I don't ignore it as I feel it's a sign that she is frustrated and can't deal with the emotion on her own, so I give her a cuddle and she stops pretty quickly before carrying on playing.

I agree that it is so hard with others around too. You feel that they are judging your child's behaviour and your parenting, even when they aren't. I've got a tendency to be more 'strict' with others around to show them I'm dealing with it, but Alice's behaviour is always worse when I do this. It's best to try and ignore others and parent as you would if you were on your own.

 

[Eala]

Ditto on the distraction front. My LO is constantly chasing the cats (or anything fluffy, including bits of their fur ). Also my laptop cable seems to be the best toy ever.

I tell her "no" (and sign it), and then move her away and make another toy make a noise or something. If all else fails, I hold her hands and let her walk for a bit

 

[Seraphim]

H has started to make cry noises some times when she can't touch things or go places - so far distraction is working, but if it were more frequent I think I'll be looking for advice on how to distract *me*

I do find myself wondering if people are thinking I'm 'soft' for appeasing her with a distraction... but I tell myself if they think that they really don't understand very well what it's like to be a littlie.

 

[Kte]

Aimee.

Chloe used to have barnies if I took her toothbrush off her. I either wait unitl she has spotted something else or if she drops it to take it off her. She isn't as fussed then. Although you obv. can do such things when it involves a door, a dog etc! Sometimes if Chloe is touching something she shouldn't I will say 'no' in a tone, or 'Chloe, fingers' in a tone and she stops. If she keeps at it she gets moved to the other side of the room and I'll play for a few mins before carrying on with what I need to do.

Its tough but I think you just have to keep on with what you are doing, saying no and explaining. I know they don't understand as such but he will soon learn that he won't always get what he wants and there must be a reason.

If I am feeling guilty I say 'somethimes mummy has to say no for a reason, it's for your own good, mummy knows best!'

Worse is she currently scratches OH or my face really hard. Don;t know why she started it or where she got it from. She gets told 'no' once and if she does it again she is put on floor, told no again and we have a full blown lie on the floor, head down, bum in air tantrum!

Its hard because I want her to stop ding certain things but I don't always want to be disciplning her as she doesn't fully understand - I feel for you!

 

[jennie_78]

We're going through the same! and i agree with the others about distracting.
caitlin wants everything she cant have at the moment, she has no interests in her toys unless im playing with them with her which is what im doing more of at the moment.

 

[redpoppy]

I'm not looking forward to this. I have a gorgeous little grump as it is. And she's a stubborn little miss. she's awesome, I love her. But I'm brain dead when it comes to finding distractions. And she's only 8 months. EEP!

 

[Jchihuahua]

I am not looking forward to this! Daisy is already so strong willed and already makes a fuss when she doesn't get her own way so I'm dreading the start of real tantrums!

 

[OmarsMum]

Omar doesnt cry but he whines if he doesnt get what he wants & sometimes he shouts at us & babbles in a foreign language. I also try to distract him. He's also faking cries when we dont do what he wants which is sooo cute, he closes his eyes & goes wa, wa then starts laughing.

 

[history_girls]

Phoebe is a diva - and really yells if told no. What do i do - I try to distract her - normally fails - but after 2 or 3 mins of being ignored she stops. She likes attention you see so if i ignore her she soon comes over to be noticed!

I dread the terrible twos....

 

[vixy]

Austin has started doing exactly the same, he has even started doing the arching back full blown tantrums, only twice but they were fairly major until i managed to distract him!!! Distraction is the key !! xx

 

[Rebaby]

I feel your pain

Toby screams if he has something taken off him that we don't want him to have or if we stop him when he's about to do something extremely exciting (aka dangerous!)

I say to him "stop" and then take the offending item away (or take him away from the situation) and offer up something else, but nothing ever seems to be as interesting as the thing he wasn't allowed Sometimes i say no but already at just 10 months old he will shake his head back at me when i say no which i think is probably not a good sign (especially since it is so damn adorable when he does it that OH and i really struggle not to laugh! )

I cannot wait for toddler-dom! (sarcasm )