Baby gender drama (RANT)

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by abc123x, Jun 7, 2011.

  1. abc123x

    abc123x Well-Known Member

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    So, let me start by saying that I never had a gender preference with this baby. My first, I wanted a boy because I always just assumed that my first would be a boy, but I'd have been okay with a girl too. I ended up having a boy. Now with this pregnancy, I never even thought about it because I just KNEW that I was having a boy. Everybody told me it was a girl and I told them all it was a boy. We had our gender scan and I was right. I felt a little bad because OH thought it was a girl and I know that he's always wanted one. But when he found out it was a boy, he had the typical male response and began celebrating that his boys could play sports together. I don't think he ever had much preference, as he know I've always wanted to adopt and we're young, so having another biological child is also not out of the question. I was raised with 8 brothers. I'm used to being the only female and it never bothered me much. If anything, I may be intimidated and afraid I wouldn't know what to do with a girl.

    However, 2 members of my OH's family are currently pregnant and due in October, so they're now finding out what they're having. They both have one boy already and are now expecting a girl. My MIL and SIL, and other assorted family members feel the need to remind me that I am having another boy. They'll say things like "One of each, isn't that perfect?" And I swear my MIL said at least 10 times "Did you hear ______ is having a girl now?" Yes, I did, and I'm happy for her if she is happy. Or my favorite... "I'm sure you'll have a girl someday. But I wouldn't try too many times, you don't want to end up with a house full of boys." I'm 20 years old and I'm not even obligated to have another child.

    I really wasn't phased by it, but it's been a long week of them feeling sorry for me and happy for the other 2, and it's starting to pxss me off more than anything. Both of my pregnancies were unplanned, and I know if I ever try to get pregnant, it's going to take forever(because that's how life is), so frankly I'm just happy that I have a baby on the way at all. And as for the the "house full of boys" comment, I have to say that all the little girls in the family are nightmares, unlinke the boys, who tend to be more calm and respectful.

    It doesn't help that I've felt like nobody is excited about this pregnancy like they were about the last one, and now it's like I know why. If I hear about it one more time, I just might lose my cool.

    I appreciate your time, if you read all of that.
     
  2. wannabenewmum

    wannabenewmum Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun, some ppl really think they know what others want dont they. If I was you next time they bring it up I wouldnt join in the conversation just literally ignore it. Yes they may take that as a conviction of you not being happy but to be honest they dont really want to hear your opinion anyway. Best of luck hun. X
     
  3. GDrag

    GDrag Well-Known Member

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    Boys really are better mannered than little girls, especially if the girls are treated like little princesses! Don't mind them, I just had my second little boy and I'm in seventh heaven, don't know what I would have done with a girl!

    I'm also plagued by people who think I would have done better with one of each and I have no idea why . . . just tell them that it would be amazing being the only female in a house filled with males, they will all adore you and you won't have an angsty, hormonal teenage girl in a few years' time!
     
  4. leahsbabybump

    leahsbabybump Mummy to 3

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    oh hun thats not really fair the way they are going off i would just turn round and say to them "i know its a boy im totally happy with this and i wouldnt have minded a girl or a boy as long as the baby is healthy it shouldnt matter"
     
  5. TTCNumbertwo

    TTCNumbertwo Mommy of 2 Boys

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    Those comments drive me crazy!!! I'm thrilled to be expecting my second boy (and I would be just as thrilled if it were a girl). I'm looking forward to having a healthy baby and growing my family- why don't people get that????? My MIL went into mourning and didn't even talk to me after we told her we were having another boy, its horrible behavior for people who should be happy for you and the baby you are expecting!!!
     
  6. abc123x

    abc123x Well-Known Member

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    My MIL made it pretty clear that she was hoping for a granddaughter, as well. It was the first thing she said. "I'm pregnant." "I just hope it's a girl!" I wanted to say, well I hope you get over it! Guess not.
     
  7. sianyld

    sianyld Mammy to Baby Jakey :)

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    That would prob drive me nuts too hun and i've got such a big mouth i'd prb tell them to sod off lol.
    At the end of the day all that matters is that bubs and urself are healthy. This is my first baby and i was convinced it was a girl-was completly wrong and im having a boy :) I never had a preference but some people still say "oh u really wanted a girl didnt u!" to be honest i just wanted my baby regardless of gender,afterall we did try for a good while+ thought it was neva gonna happen! People just always seem to have an opinion hey!x
     
  8. jobee2222

    jobee2222 Well-Known Member

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    I cant really relate as i have one girl and am now having a boy but as you said you didnt have a preference which gender the baby was, why not make that clear? They had their say, now its time you had yours.
     
  9. abc123x

    abc123x Well-Known Member

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    I did. But they're certain that I wanted a girl and that my family is going to be awful because I have 2 boys.
     
  10. Lynsay

    Lynsay Mummy to Jessica

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    Why don't people think before opening their mouths?? Has anyone actually asked you if you are happy?....you and your OH sound happy with having another baby regardless of gender so why would anyone else want to make you feel like that? My dads mum and sister both had trouble conceiving boys, and his mum had 8 miscarriages before finially having him, and then fell pregnant straight away after with my Aunty. She also had several miscarriages before having her daughter. My mum always says shitty things like "ooh Steve, you might never have a boy, are you fling to be ok with 3 girls?!" (we would like 3 children.

    She also says she can never see me with any boys which really hurts me as she has no idea what the future will bring. Why can't people just be happy for you and be careful about what they say?! Can't they see any baby is a blessing?! Some grandmas need to just remember that they are bloody lucky to have any grandchildren at all.

    Rant over! :) xx
     
  11. Mary Jo

    Mary Jo Mummy to Adam and Joel

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    my MIL hasn't said anything to me directly, but I know she is disappointed as my new baby will be her 6th grandson (no granddaughters). my view - tough luck, it's not all about you. we happen to be thrilled our boy is getting a brother. plus I am not the only one providing the grandchildren. have a word with your 3 DAUGHTERS if you want a shot at a granddaughter. :dohh:

    I just find it rude. and I'm sad that she doesn't seem to be at all excited, whereas if we were having a girl I know she would be. fortunately my own family are more than excited.
     
  12. ChristinaRN

    ChristinaRN Mother of 3, pg with #4

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    Wow, I am just speechless at how heartless people (especially family) can be!!! I think with all of my hormones that I'd go off on them. How dare they assume you wanted a girl or that your family will be rough with 2 boys!!! How bout being greatful for 2 healthy children, regardless of sex!!!! Kuddos to you for holding it together.....can't say I'd beable to!
     
  13. purapura

    purapura Well-Known Member

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    Next time just ask her if she was not happy with her boy... Grr I hate when people say without thinking! My mil wanted a girl too as she went and bought girlish things without asking us, and before the gender scan.
     
  14. momof2bb

    momof2bb Well-Known Member

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    some people are really evil.
    Do we make babe or gender?

    crazy... You are nice to keep your cool so far. I would have lost mine already.
     
  15. CharlieKeys

    CharlieKeys Well-Known Member

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    Mil keeps saying to me "don't worry you'll get your girl one day" - Urm when we decide to have our third I'd be perfectly happy with another boy thanks. And it doesn't help OH has a daughter with someone else that no one else is ableto see cause all I hear is 'oh if only I could see Rosie' as though my kids aren't enough for her!

    Its really really hard to ignore but just try you know how important your children are to you so stuf her! :hugs:
     
  16. LuvBeingAMum

    LuvBeingAMum MuMto3Pink&Expecting

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    ignore it hun its what you and your oh and boys want that matters, i have 3 girls and every1 assumed i would like a boy, i wasnt bothered whatsoever i lovve love my girls so much, and yes this time i am having a boy but i am actually quite scared as i wont know what to do with him lol xxx
     
  17. Pippin

    Pippin Sam and Adélie-Rose's Mum

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    I can see why you feel like you do. I'm actually getting one of each but it always stumps me why people say "oh that's perfect" I just want my baby to reach term and be healthy. I did want a girl but now I admit I'm a little sad it's not a boy. Don't ask me why I don't know. :shrug: If it's any comfort even though everyone thinks it's great I'm having a girl there has been no fuss over this baby like the first,i think it goes hand in hand with being the second. take care of yourself and don't let it get you down too much. Xxx
     
  18. Brookey

    Brookey Well-Known Member

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    totally feel your pain, when I announced i was having a boy someone actually said "oh well, maybe next time it will be a girl"!.....i really couldnt have cared less whether it was a boy or girl as long as it made it full term completely healthy and happy, that was all I cared about.....just ignore people like that xx
     

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