Baby sensory and my 'scary baby'

[bookreader]

She's beautiful first thing I noticed was her lovely big eyes.
Ds1 had a catheter bag for the first month and people avoided us. One parent even said omg how could you f-ing come out like that its disgusting! From that day I stopped trying to hide it and had it on display for the world to see how proud I am of my little boy. I would have happily say next you and your daughter

That is awful, says so much about that person.
We should all be proud of our LO's, breaks my heart to hear things like that.

 

[Irish Eyes]

If I'm honest I would be nervous sitting my baby next to yours as he can be really physical & I'd be terrified of him hurting her, I'm betting the other ladies feel the same. Maybe you can try to build a conversation with one of them and gradually get to know them. A nice playdate at yours could help build bridges & help them to understand

 

[StaceyKor]

Which baby sensory class r u at hun (i ask cos i see ur in Scotland and i go to one too). Ur wee girl is beautiful. I totally understand why you are upset, but like others say it may just be that people are afraid of hurting her. I'm sure when they realise she is like all the rest of the babies, fun loving and cheeky they will stop worrying. That being said, ud think they would realise that it must be ok for her to be around other people & babies or you wouldnt have taken her. I really love the baby sensory classes so hope you dont feel too put off by whats happened xx

 

[NoodleSnack]

People are sometimes afraid to deal with something they perceive as different, it's unfortunate, but you just have to keep going until they get used to it, and see pass the tube to your beautiful girl. They won't avoid you forever, just keep putting yourself out there, it's hard but you and Robyn might make some good friends as a result.

 

[kit10grl]

Hey huni , ur wee girl is beautiful I'm sorry she is not keeping too well whereabouts in Scotland are u as me and my wee man would love to sit next to you and ur wee cutie xx

We are in Dundee. We did spend a lot of time in glasgow when she was first born as her surgeries were all done at yorkhill. Lol i got lost there so many times haha

She's beautiful first thing I noticed was her lovely big eyes.
Ds1 had a catheter bag for the first month and people avoided us. One parent even said omg how could you f-ing come out like that its disgusting! From that day I stopped trying to hide it and had it on display for the world to see how proud I am of my little boy. I would have happily say next you and your daughter

That is awful someone would say that to you. I would be fuming. I used to worry about making her stuff as incospicous as possible too but now i think why should i hide what shes been through shes had a bloody hard life so far and shes doing great.

Which baby sensory class r u at hun (i ask cos i see ur in Scotland and i go to one too). Ur wee girl is beautiful. I totally understand why you are upset, but like others say it may just be that people are afraid of hurting her. I'm sure when they realise she is like all the rest of the babies, fun loving and cheeky they will stop worrying. That being said, ud think they would realise that it must be ok for her to be around other people & babies or you wouldnt have taken her. I really love the baby sensory classes so hope you dont feel too put off by whats happened xx

We go to a group run by clare puzey at our local ice arena. i think she does dundee and surrounding areas. She is lovely and was chating away to us after class and obviously trying to help us feel at ease. I might have been put off if it had happened the first week too. But after two classes ive seen how much LO enjoyed it and that it will help bring her on leaps and bounds. So I am determined to keep going along. Its good for her and if it makes others uncomfortable then thats their problem. I dont mind answering questions on her condition and most people who do ask are quite shocked by whats shes been through. The group leader and i were facebook friends when she was born so she has seen her come through so much and totally understands that so far i'm happy my baby is still alive, which at four days old we were told might not be the case. Everything else is a bonus.

Hopefully next week will be better

 

[maidelyn]

These groups can be very cliquey too - if you've only been to a couple of sessions thatweren't consecutive then maybe that's a factor. It was a good month before anyone was friendly at a babyes massage group I went to and that was laidies with older babies, the ones my los age were miserable bitches!

 

[MLC20]

She's gorgeous! I work with children with feeding tubes and other unusual equipment and I know people don't always know where to look or what to say, in my experience once they've seen it a few times then it soon becomes normal to them, but at first they may avoid you and Robyn slightly as they're afraid they'll say or do the wrong thing. I doubt it's malicious, if you show them it's nothing to be scared of they'll soon follow suit! Xxx

I agree. I have worked with children with feeding tubes and various other disabilities in mainstream day care. People really are scared of what they don't understand. We found having the parents explain the situation to the staff really helpful, because we could then explain to the other parents if needed (it was an over 2s room). On the first day we explained the situation to the other children at a level they could understand and they were fab. These children were the most sociable, smart and fun kids.
Maybe the leader can give you a chance to explain that although Robyn has feeding tubes she is able to socialise and have fun with other kids or maybe you could invite one of the mums to come for coffee so she can get to know you and Robyn. One drop in the ocean creates many ripples ( in other words it could lead to lots of friendships).

Good luck

 

[kirst76]

My BFFs little boy had an NG tube in for years and he was treated differently too.
I wish it weren't the way but it often is, that people who look/walk/talk different to others are treated different....and its very wrong!
Huge hugs honey.....I'd sit next to you guys with my LO....as long as you didn't mind sitting next to me (I am paralysed down my right side and cant walk properly and my hand doesn't work)

 

[chloelouise8]

It's horrible that you feel that people treat your little one differently Shes beautiful! I'm sure it's not intentional.... Most people just don't know enough about it and are probably nervous - give it time and people will soon be able to look past the medical equipment - just be yourself/let your baby enjoy the sensory class!

 

[kit10grl]

She's gorgeous! I work with children with feeding tubes and other unusual equipment and I know people don't always know where to look or what to say, in my experience once they've seen it a few times then it soon becomes normal to them, but at first they may avoid you and Robyn slightly as they're afraid they'll say or do the wrong thing. I doubt it's malicious, if you show them it's nothing to be scared of they'll soon follow suit! Xxx

I agree. I have worked with children with feeding tubes and various other disabilities in mainstream day care. People really are scared of what they don't understand. We found having the parents explain the situation to the staff really helpful, because we could then explain to the other parents if needed (it was an over 2s room). On the first day we explained the situation to the other children at a level they could understand and they were fab. These children were the most sociable, smart and fun kids.
Maybe the leader can give you a chance to explain that although Robyn has feeding tubes she is able to socialise and have fun with other kids or maybe you could invite one of the mums to come for coffee so she can get to know you and Robyn. One drop in the ocean creates many ripples ( in other words it could lead to lots of friendships).

Good luck

Thank you. I still working on the how much to say part. I find if i do start sometimes one thing i sy will lead into explaining another issues and then before i know it i have overshared and they see her as even more delicate that when i started lol Its worrying for me as one of her surgeons said to me take her home and treat her like your son. If you treat her like a sick baby she will act like a sick baby. But when people see how small she is and how old she is they always look worried, especially when they are sitting with a baby of the same age and obviously they inevitably compare them, and i end up trying to justify the difference with she was in hospital for months after four surgeries etc

My BFFs little boy had an NG tube in for years and he was treated differently too.
I wish it weren't the way but it often is, that people who look/walk/talk different to others are treated different....and its very wrong!
Huge hugs honey.....I'd sit next to you guys with my LO....as long as you didn't mind sitting next to me (I am paralysed down my right side and cant walk properly and my hand doesn't work)

we would definitly sit next to you! i do wish sometimes people didnt see the differences in others, its so frustrating, people look at her tube and see major interference, i look at her and am so proud that she is no longer ventilated or on heart monitors and breathing monitors and cannulas etc etc. this one tiny tube is nothing to me now, if she pulls it out its even become a five minute job to repass it. haha looking forward to that happening there, i'm sure that will really get us shut out when i have to replace her tube in a class.

 

[MLC20]

She's gorgeous! I work with children with feeding tubes and other unusual equipment and I know people don't always know where to look or what to say, in my experience once they've seen it a few times then it soon becomes normal to them, but at first they may avoid you and Robyn slightly as they're afraid they'll say or do the wrong thing. I doubt it's malicious, if you show them it's nothing to be scared of they'll soon follow suit! Xxx

I agree. I have worked with children with feeding tubes and various other disabilities in mainstream day care. People really are scared of what they don't understand. We found having the parents explain the situation to the staff really helpful, because we could then explain to the other parents if needed (it was an over 2s room). On the first day we explained the situation to the other children at a level they could understand and they were fab. These children were the most sociable, smart and fun kids.
Maybe the leader can give you a chance to explain that although Robyn has feeding tubes she is able to socialise and have fun with other kids or maybe you could invite one of the mums to come for coffee so she can get to know you and Robyn. One drop in the ocean creates many ripples ( in other words it could lead to lots of friendships).

Good luck

Thank you. I still working on the how much to say part. I find if i do start sometimes one thing i sy will lead into explaining another issues and then before i know it i have overshared and they see her as even more delicate that when i started lol Its worrying for me as one of her surgeons said to me take her home and treat her like your son. If you treat her like a sick baby she will act like a sick baby. But when people see how small she is and how old she is they always look worried, especially when they are sitting with a baby of the same age and obviously they inevitably compare them, and i end up trying to justify the difference with she was in hospital for months after four surgeries etc

The parents kept it very simple for us. They explained that the child needed the tube to feed and that it was very robust so daily activities were no problem. There was no need for special treatment and they would appreciate it if the child was treated the same as everyone else. Of course they explained how to fix any issues as the child was left with us but, you don't need to go into that just need to say that if something was to happen you know how to deal with it. Short and sweet

Pity some of us aren't in your baby sensory group.

 

[bookreader]

I just read that you are in Dundee. I am Arbroath and have been looking for a baby sensory class. Where about it is if you dont mind me asking.

My LO is also 7 months now, would he be too old to join?

 

[kit10grl]

I just read that you are in Dundee. I am Arbroath and have been looking for a baby sensory class. Where about it is if you dont mind me asking.

My LO is also 7 months now, would he be too old to join?

Not to old. she takes babies up to a year, then has toddler sense for after that.

https://www.facebook.com/DundeeBabySensory?ref=ts&fref=ts

thats her facebook page which has all her contact details and stuff. The first class is a free trial and then £65 for a ten week block after that. She also runs a once monthly group at sensations for two adults and a child which include tickets for the centre after the session too which i took DS too a few times. let me know if you want any more info

 

[bookreader]

brilliant, thank you.

 

[annanouska]

gorgeous little girl. Sorry people have treated you so bad, good job I'm not in your class you would be bored of me asking questions . I haven't read all the replies but one thing our sensory group does is a quick intro each week who u are who ur baby is etc. if they did that maybe it could give you a min to just say about your lo and that she can still play just like the others.

W have a tiny 6 lb 4 mo in our group who was very prem. I find myself encouraging mum to get him involved as she seems to keep him separate as she is so worried over him, I find myself worrying he will end up segregated and its not even my child! It was so lovely as this week she really got him stuck in as much as the tiny one could and his eye lit up he was loving it. Was so nice as my lo was babbling to him and passing toys.

Hope these parents start being nicer to you both xxxx