baby shower registry

[Jaylynne]

I wasn't going to comment in a trimester I'm not in yet, but I just finished my baby registry yesterday so I was looking at other posts regarding registries. It's definitely the norm here to get each other presents for when babies come. I get presents for all my friends, coworkers and friends of friends babies so it's not rude or presumptuous to expect others to do the same. In fact, here it's rather rude if you don't get at least a small gift (it's not about money, it could be as little as a homemade card) if they are family or friend. I made sure I had lots of under $10 items and not a lot expensive ones on my registry.
I don't think anyone feels like others HAVE to buy them presents or is upset to buy their own baby items. And I don't care if only a few things are bought off my registry as I'm sure I'll love whatever I get (or can exchange). We just share the baby love and excitement and there isn't pressure.

 

[FarmGirl1212]

@Jennifer TTC - your Walmart registry isn't taking items off? Maybe that's what's wrong with mine too. I have two registries (both relatively small - I picked Walmart because we don't have a Target in my hometown and my grandmothers need not drive an hour to buy things) and the Walmart registry only has a couple things off of it. I was beginning to think something was wonky with it! I couldn't believe that no one was getting anything at Walmart....they're everywhere and they're cheap!

I am very excited about the shower because of the fact that I get to share the most exciting time in my life so far with my friends and family. Ava's my first baby, and likely my only. I don't get to see my friends and family as often as I like, so sharing this time with them is so special to me. Yes, the gifts are amazingly helpful, but for me it's not really about that as much as it is the social aspect. Bottom line is, I can't wait for Sunday! =)

 

[jenniferttc1]

We are just a very gift giving country

 

[jenniferttc1]

@Jennifer TTC - your Walmart registry isn't taking items off? Maybe that's what's wrong with mine too. I have two registries (both relatively small - I picked Walmart because we don't have a Target in my hometown and my grandmothers need not drive an hour to buy things) and the Walmart registry only has a couple things off of it. I was beginning to think something was wonky with it! I couldn't believe that no one was getting anything at Walmart....they're everywhere and they're cheap!

I am very excited about the shower because of the fact that I get to share the most exciting time in my life so far with my friends and family. Ava's my first baby, and likely my only. I don't get to see my friends and family as often as I like, so sharing this time with them is so special to me. Yes, the gifts are amazingly helpful, but for me it's not really about that as much as it is the social aspect. Bottom line is, I can't wait for Sunday! =)

My shower is sunday also!
But as far as I know, my registry has not been working. I don't have one single item off of it yet, and I know for a fact my grandma herself bought three items at 2 different times, cause she called me concerened that it was not being taken off when she reprinted the registry paper. She says the cashier scanned it and everything I know I went to walmart and tried to get them to fix it, and they couldnt. Plus they do not have instore scan guns for registry anymore, I think they are trying to slowly stop the registry. I figured everyone would use the walmart since its everywhere, but so far target has all the items being bought on it from people. People also wait till last minute. Yesterday I had 3 items off, and went on last night to add something and there was 14 items bought within that day. I was always bad about last minute shopping

 

[FarmGirl1212]

Oh, Walmart....just when I thought you were better than Target!! Looks like I have two tricky registries to deal with! It doesn't matter though, if I get doubles (or triples) of anything, that's what gift receipts and/or store credit are for.

Almost everyone I invited (with the exception of those out of state) are coming on Sunday, and I feel so thankful! I am video taping portions of it to show Ava how much she is already loved once she's older and can understand. I hope you have a great shower too! =)

 

[sparkle83]

I think overall it will become more common here in the uk. I can't imagine paying out as much as you girls have to for medical care. If we had to here, I can hand on heart say that I'd probably have ended up very ill, possibly even dead by now for not being able to afford it (I have an underactive thyroid and also epilepsy). I wouldn't trade the NHS at all.

I am having a baby shower, but it wasnt my idea, my sisters wanted me to have one as I'm the first to have a baby and its taken us 11.5 years! I made a wish list on mothercare, mainly because we'd already bought or been given second hand alot of things that they'd assume we needed. I'm only having mil, sil, two sisters, aunt and my mum coming though. I'd have been just as happy for them to visit without any presents and so on. We'll also have to buy anything not bought from the list afterwards, and as its not til I'm 36.5wks, we may also have a mad dash!

 

[1982emmac]

can some of the US ladies explain to me how the healthcare system works?

 

[FarmGirl1212]

I work in the US, in the private sector (non-government/public job). The way my healthcare works is I elect certain coverage that my company pays a portion of, and I pay a portion of.

For example, for 2011 I elected a high deductible package - I would have to pay out $1200 USD before my company would begin paying anything toward my healthcare. Once I hit the $1200, the company would begin paying 80% of my bills while I paid 20%, up until I hit my coinsurance ceiling of $3750 (this is actually $2550, because the $1200 for my original deductible also counts toward my max ceiling). Once I hit that (I haven't yet), my company will pay 100% of the costs associated with my care in 2011.

With that being said....it costs about $6500 at my local hospital for a normal vaginal birth. A cesarean can cost up to $12,500. If I have my baby in 2011, then I will only have to pay up to my max ceiling (I am close, but still have a ways to go) and then my company will pay the rest of the costs for my delivery. Once 2012 hits, I will start a whole new year of benefits, deductibles, etc. Basically starting over fresh. So I am hoping little Miss here comes just a couple days early.

I am not sure how it works in the UK...care to enlighten?

 

[FarmGirl1212]

Those numbers are for my company specifically....other companies have different packages depending on the types of negotiated rates they can get with healthcare providers here in the states. Smaller companies tend to have a harder time getting good rates because they don't have a lot of people working for them like huge companies (like mine) do. So the benefits packages can differ. And I don't even know about the public sector's benefits!

 

[jenniferttc1]

Whoa I can't explain it as technical as farmgirl1212 ha ha
But my husband pays about 100.00 a week for me to have health insurance. My health insurance only covers 80% of anything medical and I pay the other 20%. Giving birth is expensive, and a csection is even more expensive. They charge you for everything, even if you get a tablet of tylenol they will charge you up the ass for it.
I went to the emergency room for a burning stomach, spent an hour there, and just had a bag of fluid go through me. That was 1,000 out of pocket I had to pay. You are too scared to go to the hospital for anything, cause you never know how much you will get screwed over. I would wait until I was for sure I was going to die in the next hour to go now.
We also have to pay half of americas health insurance through our outrageous taxes. The more money you make, the more money they take from you.
Not only all that, but there are also tons of people that can't even get insurance. If you have a medical condition, no insurance company will even touch you. My cousins B/F has the disease, and he is on his dads old military insurance and if he gets married then he will loose that insurance. Well him and my cousin can never ever legally get married cause no insurance will take him with his disease, and he needs it.

 

[1982emmac]

uk ladies correct me if I'm wrong....

We have tax and national insurance deducted at pay, it is my understanding national insurance contributions help fund the nhs (as well as unemployment benefit and state pension). I currently pay about £150 a month national insurance.

We then receive free healthcare through the nhs (national health service), don't receive any bills etc.

 

[1982emmac]

...and you get sooo many people complaining about the nhs here. so ungrateful! I feel we are very lucky!

 

[ashlee23]

so funny i was just talkin bout babyshowers today n my dad said he's never heard of them and he was shocked at the idea of registering for gifts! he saw it more as asking for presents rather than helping ppl who'd already decided they were going to get u something to know what u need, but that is because its not common here in uk, although they are becoming more popular. its not that we wouldnt buy gifts for other peoples baby, we'd generally just give them after the birth (and probably after the poor mum havin 100 people ask her what she needs ten times each and her not knowing how to answer without sounding cheeky and endin up with hundreds of little outfits).
i dont think blah was tryin to be harsh, its just a cultural difference that some may find it hard to get their heads round and as for the whole taxes etc i think the uk system is worse as we (generally) get paid less and taxed more and cost of living is (once again) generally higher. i have family in US who say they are soooo much better off and have far better lifestyle in the US, im assuming even with medical bills etc, but the rubbish thing is they all come at once. however my aunt did say she's want to come back to UK if she were having a baby due to the whole maternity leave thing.
however i am having a babyshower (so excited for it although no idea about what to do, games etc) and have registered but only giving my registry to people that ask for it then dont feel cheeky but guess where its different there is that u all are used to buying off registries for each other n makin sure new mummy has everything, its just different here. however im sure if a uk lady didnt get a gift off someone shed spent lots on she'd b put out too - its just done in a different way xxx

 

[NicolaWynne]

Im not having a baby shower, im having a "baby welcome get together" after shes born. That way i wont feel awkward having a baby shower and wont feel like im pressuring people to buy me presents. They can just come to my get together and see my baby, if they buy me presents thats just a bonus, everyones a winner that way- I squeeze the baby out, you get to come visit and coo over them and give my special princess cuddles, and if you wanna buy baba a gift, thats great!

 

[ashlee23]

I work in the US, in the private sector (non-government/public job). The way my healthcare works is I elect certain coverage that my company pays a portion of, and I pay a portion of.

For example, for 2011 I elected a high deductible package - I would have to pay out $1200 USD before my company would begin paying anything toward my healthcare. Once I hit the $1200, the company would begin paying 80% of my bills while I paid 20%, up until I hit my coinsurance ceiling of $3750 (this is actually $2550, because the $1200 for my original deductible also counts toward my max ceiling). Once I hit that (I haven't yet), my company will pay 100% of the costs associated with my care in 2011.

With that being said....it costs about $6500 at my local hospital for a normal vaginal birth. A cesarean can cost up to $12,500. If I have my baby in 2011, then I will only have to pay up to my max ceiling (I am close, but still have a ways to go) and then my company will pay the rest of the costs for my delivery. Once 2012 hits, I will start a whole new year of benefits, deductibles, etc. Basically starting over fresh. So I am hoping little Miss here comes just a couple days early.

I am not sure how it works in the UK...care to enlighten?

NHS pays for all our necessary health care including GPs, hospital visits, necessary medical procedures and child birth and all our antenatal and postnatal care.
we pay for prescriptions, dental care, eye care and anything seen as unnecessary can be paid for privately. people on certain benefits, children or pensioners do not pay for these things.
some people opt for private insurance as NHS care is not of the same standard as private or care in USA, waiting times can be very long and you are discharged from hospital in minimum possible time (after my appedixectomy i was asked to wait in dayroom 12 hours later to go home as they wanted my bed! even though i could barely walk yet!!!)
the issues with NHS care is that its all about saving money - some people without private insurance have to go without vital operations if they do not meet the criteria for funding.
nhs is probably great during pregnancy as we arent stuck with big bills and our child's care is free, however due to nhs cutbacks a woman in the hospital i work in actuaaly gave birth on a general use hospital bed in the corridor of delivery suite as they suite was full!!! i was actually shocked when i heard this as its quite a good hospital but had been forced to reduce the amount of beds in the suite by 40% - alot of people in NHS think we're prob gonna end up with an insurance system as funding is just so poor now xxx

 

[aliss]

How terrible that you have to buy stuff for your own baby?

Blah, I respect you but come on. You have been on here long enough to know that it is a cultural norm in North America to expect gifts for a baby shower from a registry. It's not just the American girls, it's the same for us Canadians too.

Girl gets pregnant, girl has baby shower, girl gets gifts, girl returns the favour when it's her friends turn. No questions asked, completely accepted.

When you throw a wedding, have a wedding registry, and not a single person brings you a gift, you can't possibly tell me that is perfectly okay, suck it up buttercup, because gifts should not be expected. This is the same for baby showers "here" (which I suppose just means countries with baby shower culture and not just the USA).

OP: I admit that I tend to purchase the gifts on the day of the shower so don't worry

 

[Tiff]

Personally I would say that if you can't contribute to the conversation other than a disagreement about registries then it might be time to move on to a different thread. This topic isn't about whether or not its socially acceptable to have a baby registry, however if you want to make a thread about just that you are more than welcome to do so.

OP: Personally I wouldn't worry. We had people buy us gifts for our baby shower, while I was in the hospital, when I brought Claire home and continually for almost 6 months. I ran out of thank you cards 3 times over.

 

[rocketb]

We just had our last of 3 baby showers today (all within a week of each other). I have a few more things to buy, but they should all be covered by the gift cards we received.

I have been feeling slightly stressed about the timing though. I'm just about 37 weeks and I still have a few things that need to be ordered but I feel like I should hold off just in case a couple more relatives want to send something from the registry (relatives usually prefer to buy higher ticket items, ie $50+ and those are the items I'm most tempted to just go ahead and order now).

I just did one universal registry at Amazon. I used the notes option to mark items available at Target and BabiesRUs so that people would have a local option. Amazon allows people to mark things bought even if they don't buy them from Amazon, and they have an easy to use 10% completion discount that starts being available a month before the event/due date.

I was actually shocked at how much we got, both off the registry and really useful items that I hadn't asked for specifically.

 

[robinator]

Wow, 3 showers? Good for you! I can't handle more than one, because I don't like having all the social attention on me,

People did take about half the items off of my BRU registry; the following week I went to the store and online to purchase the rest. And wouldn't you know, just YESTERDAY the 10% coupon arrived in the mail? I totally forgot about it! Oh, well, too late....

 

[wavescrash]

does anyone check the registry to see what people bought so far?

my shower is in 3 days and i have to say, i am a little disappointed. i am hoping people just put off shopping and more will be taken off on saturday

I check mine (I made it early on but people have made purchases off it already) but I will say, I work at Target and see a lot of shower purchases made on a regular basis. Most people come out and do their shopping the weekend of, the day before and a lot of them the day OF. We get so many guests saying, "Where can I find this item? The shower's tomorrow!!!!!!" I'm sure the same will happen in your situation. Good luck!