Had I not miscarried I would be almost 20 weeks pregnant and have been thinking about how I'd be finding out soon if I was having a boy or a girl, or possibly already have found out. From the moment I was pregnant I 'felt' my baby was a boy but I think this is possibly just because I have always wanted to have a boy first. I have always thought of him as a boy. It helped me cope better with the loss to think of him as a real person and to call him by the name I would have chosen had he been a boy. But now I'm thinking what if it wasn't a boy, what if it was a girl? I'm kinda feeling guilty now for assuming the baby was a boy, for always thinking of the baby as a boy, for even calling the baby by a boy's name. It's like, if the baby was to be a girl, I am not even acknowleding her! It's hard to explain exactly what I'm feeling but I guess I feel like if my little angel is a girl she feels I'm not even thinking of her, or I don't miss her because when I think of the baby I think of it as a boy. I would have loved my baby all the same whether it was a boy or girl and although when I talk about the baby I say things like 'I wish I had him back' or 'I miss him' I really just wish I simply still had my baby, regardless of gender. Has anyone else 'given' their baby a gender? And like me felt this way later? Or did it make it easier for you?