katieandbump
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This is getting stupid now, every night i seem to be having nightmares and it leaves me too scared to go back to sleep even though i'm exhausted.
When i was 18 my boyf died in a car crash and i keep having dreams about him where his car will pull up outside and i'll run to my mum and say he's back he's back and mum will go yes kate he was only in a coma and then i'll wake up thinking its ok he's in a coma and have to tell myself no he did die.
Another time i was with andrew in his familys house and there was a party on or something and his brother and mum were just ignoring him its like we weren't there and i was getting angry and upset in the dream saying why are they all ignoring you why aren't they pleased to see you i don't get it.
In other dreams andrew (who died) will morph from him into my partner now russ.....either his face with russ's voice or russ's face with andrew's voice and its rly confusing when i wake up. Monday i had a dream me and andrew were arguing on the phone and i woke up rly upset.
Tuesday I had a dream about russ's ex girlfriend and him being together and i was trying to talk to russ and say whats going on but i was invisible. And last night to top it off i had a dream that it was the day of my 20 week scan and me and russ were at home waiting for a phone call to go to the hospital. It was 10 at night and hadn't heard anything so russ got called out with work, then the phone rung and a man said are u with the father you both need to come in straight away. So russ came back to the house and next thing we were in the hospital and a woman came out in a suit saying, we had to call you in imediately cos something's stood out to us in your pregnancy and your the only one we've found. I said "what?" and she said... "ambifida"... i started crying and said "why" and she said "could be somthing to do with ameeno"....
Doesn't make any sense but i woke up sooo scared and protective over little one it felt so real. Now i'm thinking i don't want to go to sleep tonight
Russ is rly good about the whole andrew situation as he knows its broken me in a big way, and i won't be over it for a very long time.
I know i can talk to russ about it but i dnt think its fair, i know deep down russ feels like he lives in andrews shadow a bit cos he's told me when we had an arguement so instead he just hugs me rly tight and strokes my hair while i go back to sleep and won't sleep til he knows i am. This makes me feel even worse about having these dreams... i think its cos on sunday it'll be the 3 year anniversary of the day he died and its rly on my mind.
I think my brain is just really confused and muddled up. Don't know if anyone else has any experience of this???
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When i was 18 my boyf died in a car crash and i keep having dreams about him where his car will pull up outside and i'll run to my mum and say he's back he's back and mum will go yes kate he was only in a coma and then i'll wake up thinking its ok he's in a coma and have to tell myself no he did die.
Another time i was with andrew in his familys house and there was a party on or something and his brother and mum were just ignoring him its like we weren't there and i was getting angry and upset in the dream saying why are they all ignoring you why aren't they pleased to see you i don't get it.
In other dreams andrew (who died) will morph from him into my partner now russ.....either his face with russ's voice or russ's face with andrew's voice and its rly confusing when i wake up. Monday i had a dream me and andrew were arguing on the phone and i woke up rly upset.
Tuesday I had a dream about russ's ex girlfriend and him being together and i was trying to talk to russ and say whats going on but i was invisible. And last night to top it off i had a dream that it was the day of my 20 week scan and me and russ were at home waiting for a phone call to go to the hospital. It was 10 at night and hadn't heard anything so russ got called out with work, then the phone rung and a man said are u with the father you both need to come in straight away. So russ came back to the house and next thing we were in the hospital and a woman came out in a suit saying, we had to call you in imediately cos something's stood out to us in your pregnancy and your the only one we've found. I said "what?" and she said... "ambifida"... i started crying and said "why" and she said "could be somthing to do with ameeno"....
Doesn't make any sense but i woke up sooo scared and protective over little one it felt so real. Now i'm thinking i don't want to go to sleep tonight
Russ is rly good about the whole andrew situation as he knows its broken me in a big way, and i won't be over it for a very long time.
I know i can talk to russ about it but i dnt think its fair, i know deep down russ feels like he lives in andrews shadow a bit cos he's told me when we had an arguement so instead he just hugs me rly tight and strokes my hair while i go back to sleep and won't sleep til he knows i am. This makes me feel even worse about having these dreams... i think its cos on sunday it'll be the 3 year anniversary of the day he died and its rly on my mind.
I think my brain is just really confused and muddled up. Don't know if anyone else has any experience of this???
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