Bad fight with other half, :/

[DollFaceJessi]

Hello ladies !
I havnt been on much because I got engaged june 4th To the love of my life and Lolas father, Jon.
But just yesterday we had a pretty big blowout. :/ Some harsh things were said and now Im not sure if were still togather.
Last night he called me and wouldnt say he loved me, but he did say he loved Lola.
Im torn because I admit, I let the hormones get the best of me, but he said "being pregnant is always my excuse". Then I told him to go f hisself, and from then Im sure you can imagine.
My question is, weve never had a fight like this, and it seemed out of normal, but can we boune back from this and advice on doing so?
What can I do to show the IM sorry?

UPDATE!
Last heard from him june 6th at 3:45, said he wanted to talk things out. As of right now I havnt heard a word from him. Ive called his house and no answer. I will keep trying. This has torn me up pretty bad, next move of action, writing an good ol' fashioned letter to his house? Cheesy or can you see my reasoning? Thanks in advance!

 

[smitsusan5]

oh im sorry hun, give him time and space. thats all i do when i have an argument with oh. and he will call, but dont be stubborn apologise for your wrongs and he hopefully will do the same. hope things get better x

 

[Lola472]

Congratulations on your engagement. I am really sorry about your fight. That totally sucks. But I agree. Just give him a little time and space. That usually helps fix everything. And apologize. I know my FOB will NEVER be the first to apologize. If we exchange "I'm sorry" it's because I took the initiative. I don't think that one fight is worth throwing your relationship away. And I'm sorry he wouldn't say I love. I'm sure it was just because he was irritated and probably not feeling very warm and cuddly at the moment. Between a baby and an engagement you are probably under a lot of stress. It's easy to say things that you don't mean. And the worst part about words is that you can't ever fully take it back. But I think you guys will mend it. Good luck!

 

[xSarahM]

I'm sorry about your fight, treacle.
I agree with what the other girls said ^^ give him some space. If that was me, i know i'd just want to pester him and grovell loads. I hope you get back on track soon a teen pregnancy can be stressful and cause alot of tension

 

[DollFaceJessi]

Thank you ladies.
He called back and said he wanted to talk things out so I guess thats a head start.

 

[we can't wait]

Firstly, congratulations on your engagement!
Aww, good! I'm glad he called! I think the two of you could definitely bounce back from this. Just because you had a big blow out where you said hurtful things doesn't mean that you don't love each other. If that were the case, DH and I would be divorced. lol If you'd like a read, you should look up the different types of marital relationships. I learned about them in my first semester of college. It really will help you to feel better about getting in an argument. There's validating, volatile, and avoidant relationships. Oddly, the volatile relationships-- the ones where the couples hash out their problems emotionally, instead of avoiding them-- are the ones where there is the most love!

According to the research of John Gottman, an award-winning research psychologist:

Volatile couples, in contrast to validating ones, thrive on unfiltered emotional intensity. Their relationships are full of angry growls and passionate sighs, sudden ruptures and romantic reconciliations. They may fight bitterly (and even unfairly), and they may seem destined for divorce to anyone watching them squabble. But data indicates that this pessimism is often misplaced: These couples will stay together if "for every nasty swipe, there are five caresses." In fact, "the passion and relish with which they fight seems to fuel their positive interactions even more." Such couples are more romantic and affectionate than most. Trying to change the style of their relationship not only isn't necessary, it probably won't work.

See? So one argument isn't a bad thing. Every couple argues. Different situations will cause you to hash things out more emotionally or more angrily at times. It's good that you are getting used to dealing with a big blow up now, instead of waiting until after you've tied the knot. I hope everything works out for you and your fiance!

 

[LovingMommy10]

Me and my OH get that way sometimes, but usually we end up just dropping it and laughing about it. Cause we live together at his parents house and I dont have a car right now so im kind of stuck when we fight, So at first we just ignore eachother then end up laughing. I know hurtful things come out of our mouths when we fight but If you dont mean them then usaully he doesnt either.. Good luck, stuff will seem a lot better when the hormones go away!