Bad timing...AGAIN...so upset :(

[wlovew]

So my donor produced hardly anything the night before last. Went ahead and used what I had but it was literally a couple of drops. I added a bit of conceive plus which was frickin ice cold, I should have put it inside me but it didn't have applicators like the preseed! SH!T I probably killed the two swimmers there may have been in the batch DUMMY. Told my donor to drink more water and I would be by again Thursday night, which will be tonight. Problem is, last night I felt the mittelschmerz and low and behold this morning my temp dipped. I have yet to get a positive OPK this cycle, last cycle they gradually got darker and I caught the surge. I tested yesterday in the middle of the day and it was super faint still so I didn't think the surge was coming. The day before yesterday tho it was darker and this morning it is about the same as it was yesterday but no definite positives. I'm so frustrated I am feeling like sobbing... this would be so much easier if I could rent a damn DH to BD with during this time. I'm so crushed again. I am fairly certain this dip is O because of the mitteschmerz. And the darker OPK the other day must have been as dark as it was gonna get, I have read of other ladies never even getting a full positive but still O'ing. I feel so defeated. Now I have to go another month, another month for my father to become more ill. Another month for me to get older. Another month for my eggs to get older. I wish I had realized sooner that I could do this alone and started trying long ago. I feel so emotional right now. Has anyone else ever cried over this? I feel like I will never get this right. It's so hard going the donor route, but I don't want to wait for my happy ending. I am ready now. Is this karma for the abortions?? Sometimes I deeply feel that it is.

 

[HorrorFan88]

I use a sperm donor as well so I know how you feel. My husband is infertile. Using a sperm donor doing at-home inseminations is hard work getting the timing down, but the stress mentally I've found is the worst. You have to depend on another person providing enough of a sample and multiple times in a month....all you can do is track your cycle and hope for the best- it's kind of out of your hands Luckily I've always produced positive ovulation tests so I can't really help with that part, but I'm glad to find another person on here using a sperm donor! I really hope you figure out the timing and if you have any questions def let me know.

 

[wlovew]

Thank you! I'm so happy to have found another person using a donor!!!

So this is weird - I took an OPK before hopping in the shower and it came up BIG-TIME POSITIVE! The one I took upon waking 4 hours ago was very faint, a negative. What the??? Last month I got a positive OPK the day before my temperature drop. Maybe my temp will drop again?? Maybe I am not too late!?

I check my cervix, CM, BBT, OPKs...religiously every day! I would hope I have become a bit of a pro by now lol it's the insemination part that I am struggling with still. Trying softcups. Thought I would roll it up to make the pocket a little smaller, instead of helping anything it just made it nearly impossible to insert properly because the sides would not squeeze together so easily, and it also made the pocket want to pop inside out. Big disaster. At least I did not lose much, he barely gave me anything! I am hoping and praying for better luck tonight. I hope I did not ovulate today, maybe my temp will drop yet again!!! Then jump up. But it is exactly the same as it was last month before and the day of predicted O :/ Guess we just gotta kinda let go and let God...

 

[LouOscar01]

Ypu aren't supposed to take ovulation tests when you first wake up. Early afternoon is best I think. So maybe that's why it is positive

 

[wlovew]

I take them 3-4x/day starting around CD 9! Usually I skip the morning urine but I thought I might have ovulated last night since I felt the distinctive pain yesterday and my temp dropped today. I took a test last night as well but it was negative. This is how I caught my surge last month, by testing throughout the day. Can't hurt!

 

[HorrorFan88]

I've never used the soft cups...kinda worried I wouldn't get it in there right and then I'd fumble around and fuck up the insemination lol....

I usually take one ovulation test in the morning and then one in the late afternoon. I think maybe you have a good shot with inseminating tonight! Sometimes you just ovulate later than normal due to stress and whatnot....I've had my period a couple days late due to stress. Best of luck to you and hopefully he provides a better sample LOL

 

[wlovew]

I've never used the soft cups...kinda worried I wouldn't get it in there right and then I'd fumble around and fuck up the insemination lol....

And that's exactly how it went down last night! It didn't wanna squeeze together because it was rolled and that messed up the pouch part too, then it slipped out of my hand and I damn near lost the tiny bit of baby juice I had. Then it didn't want to stay put, rolling it to make the pouch smaller really screwed up the pliability of the ring and it was nearly impossible to force it into place and get it to STAY there. Tonight I will not fuck with the softcup, I will just fill it and put it where it needs to be and go about my business while it holds the liquid gold in place all night long! Praying for my cervix to cooperate and for my ovulation to have not taken place just yet, or maybe to have taken place today sometime.... Whatever, we'll see what happens! LOL

Good luck to you as well!