Batting for the other team

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by Maybe1stBaby, Apr 2, 2011.

  1. Maybe1stBaby

    Maybe1stBaby Muffin in the muff!

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    So, I've been AWOL because of major depression and early pregnancy fatigue. A few friends have said aloud what I feel inside--my situation is like being raped emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Having been sexually assaulted before, I must say my emotions this past week have been quite similar.

    Now as I try to pick up myself, and pack to move back to the Midwest to live with my family as I regroup, I find myself overwhelmed with the daunting task of moving and packing. I feel like a weakling! Pregnancy is making this very difficult. In between sleeping and catnaps, just lifting and moving stuff around is exhausting.

    I still don't know if I will continue this pregnancy, but I do know that I am done with men.

    I'm officially asexual and celibate for the very near future, and I think if I ever get involved with anyone ever again, I will definitely be batting for the other team.

    To the lady who posted about the 94 cats, I really don't see having animals as a bad thing at this point. I've always been a huge animal person, and I'd rather be around animals than men--most of the women in the forum are single because of the betrayal and hurt caused by FOB, and kudos to you for wanting another chance at love, but I would much rather have the unconditional love of 94 cats than the deceitful love of a man who's ruled by his penis and not by his principles.

    Sorry if this comes off bitter, I'm still numb and hurting.
     
  2. billy2mm

    billy2mm Mum of 2 cheeky monkeys!!

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    of course you are hurting hun!!

    i hate packing and moving too its not just the pregnancy.

    take your time and just take each day as it comes :hugs:
     
  3. chels24uk

    chels24uk Well-Known Member

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    hey im moving to. Wednesday in fact. After being hurt beyond belief last year by my ex, i cant wait to get back to where friends and family are finally.

    You'll find as time goes by, you will become stronger. And its a great thing you are going back to where you will have support of friends and family. good luck with your move!

    Chin up, things seem and feel awful now, but i promise you they will get better xxx
     
  4. Rhio92

    Rhio92 Connor, Saskia, OH & Me

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  5. 18singlemom2b

    18singlemom2b Well-Known Member

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    i'm not sure what has happened, but most of us here have all been done terrible injustices by the hands of the fathers of our children and still, we have made the best of our situations. don't hate this child, or punish this child because of what has happened
     
  6. Maybe1stBaby

    Maybe1stBaby Muffin in the muff!

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    that's exactly what i'm afraid of doing if I have it...I spoke to my mom in depth about this, and she said once I hold that baby in my arms I will love it, regardless of the situation, but I fear I will resent it and speak negatively about its a$$hole of a father, especially if I have to put up with this man in our future.

    I don't want to be bitter for the next 18 years.
     
  7. chels24uk

    chels24uk Well-Known Member

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    i understand why you are fearful of that. But I have 4 cousins who were screwed over in someway or another by their ex's before their children were born, and now theyre children are here, they are all very happy and would do anything for their kids. Once your baby is here, you wont give a toss about its dad and just realise what a prick he really is to do something like he has done. *hugs*
     
  8. Surreal

    Surreal Me + Little Man = Family.

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    I was scared as all hell that I would resent my baby, too... and I can tell you, I have never felt so blessed in my life to have him.

    And don't worry about the whole dating/marriage/whatever BS. It's been nearly a year for me, and I want nothing to do with men yet, either. My little man is good enough for me! Just take your time, adjust yourself and find your own. You don't need a man to be your anchor, or anything else, for that matter! I haven't felt so confident and self-sufficient in a *long* time...

    Time heals all things, and time teaches us things we never knew. Just give yourself that, take a day at a time, breathe... and you'll eventually find where your headed. :flower:

    On the moving part... no friends to enlist the help of?
     
  9. syntaxerror

    syntaxerror Cael's Mom

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    Haha...well, if you do go that way, you're likely moving to the wrong part of the country for it. I just moved from Oklahoma back to Iowa. I feel...similar, I guess...I was already openly bi but I can't imagine being with any guy other than FOB (or, at the moment, any girl...but I know I don't ever want anything to do with any other guy.)

    If you think there's even a slight chance you still want your baby, I'd keep her. She (or he) is not her daddy, she'll be her own little person that came from you and your brain chemicals will make sure that you love her. And if, for whatever reason, you're unhappy after she gets here, there's always adoption/Safe Haven laws. You'd make another couple ridiculously happy and you'd not have to deal with the 'what if's that may accompany termination in these circumstances.

    Only you can decide what's right for you -- but litter for one kitty is enough of a hassle; you may want to avoid 94 :)
     
  10. angelpkj

    angelpkj Well-Known Member

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    i was debating to get rid of LO in the early pregnancy myself,i was scared and it was a waiting game about if FOB was gunna be there for me
    my main reason for thinking about not keeping LO was i didn't want to bring a child into this world with a sorry excuse for a dad
    i didn't want my child to be a figuire in someones research on how many children are born to single parent familys
    i didn't want my child asking where daddy was or why daddy never cares

    the only reason i kept LO is because i didn't want to get rid and later regret it

    now im 38 weeks pregnant and still not with FOB and i couldnt care less
    yes my child will be born and have a prick for a dad BUT all i can do is show how much love i have to offer,he's not gunna grow up to hate me for it
    yes my child will prob be a figuire in someones research and i will be "another single mum" but im proud now,im proud that i've come this far on my own and rather than see it as a bad thing

    there is no fairy tale pregnancy
    whatever happens there will be you and your child and thats what you need to think about
    as my mum says "your father is apart of your life,but not apart of mine"
     
  11. lily123

    lily123 Mammy <3

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    You won't hun, promise :hugs: I felt very similar to you, because of how my daughter was conceived. But trust me, you won't be bitter at all. My whole pregnancy every time i thought of FOB i'd feel physically sick and never want to set eyes on another man in my entire life, but now i have a wonderful man in my life who treats me and my daughter wonderfully.
    chin up darling :hugs:
    x
     

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